Summary

INTERVIEW RETURNS: David Susskind Amy, you and Bob have something in common to some gay, two sons gay Now, why did the third one skip the problem? it's not a problem Bob Benov No, I'm not kidding It is not a problem The problem is that people have to recognize and learn what homosexuality is and then No, no, it's not a problem That's what the problem is, is people don't know what homosexuality is They think it's something not normal, as somebody said before it is normal It's just another orientation, it's a different orientation The affectional object of your of your affection is is of the same sex and really doesn't have that much to do with sex You don't ever have to take part in a sexual act to be homosexual, just as you don't have to be take part in a sexual act, to be heterosexual, a Catholic priest does not take part in the sexual act That doesn't mean he's not heterosexual And it doesn't mean he's not homosexual The the act of sex has nothing to do with your sexual orientation who you're attracted to, is what affects your sexual sexual orientation And the fact that it's not a problem is the fact that I know what homosexuality is, it was a problem for me before When I first found out as you David Susskind Joe said, he preferred cancer for his child Bob Benov No, I have to tell you, I know, I've said Joe this before he told me, this was the day before he told me, he said, What would be worse than than being gay? And I said, I rather see I've cancer than be gay I mean, that's the way I felt Now you say, I said, myself, I'm trying to be loving, trying to be a Christian father, I was very active in the church I just blew my mind I couldn't believe that this thing could be happening to me, or to my son And when I went to see my parish priest, he said to me, you know, I don't think anybody knows what it is where it comes from I think it's a great mystery And, and, but he said he has to go, that he has to get out of the house because he's going to influence my other two boys Amy Ashworth This is what is so sad, right? That's the misconception People think it's like, you catch it like measles And this isn't so people have in a parent's group in Westchester, I have a mother who comes she has identical twins One is a lesbian, the other isn't And we simply don't ask anymore, or how come it's one of the mysteries We do know that 10% of the population was is and will be gay And gay people don't have to recruit because they have heterosexual parent David Susskind Well if our population is roughly 2 million 240 million people You're saying the 24 million? That's right Amy Ashworth Yes, they are Then imagine their parents, you know, who are connected aunts, uncles, if I was often thinking if all gay and gay related and lesbian related people would wear green vote for one day, you would be amazed David Susskind My wife once commented that if the homosexuals and lesbians went on strike, yeah, that will bring the beauty business to a halt Interior Decorating you couldn't get? That's that's a myth Joe We've met policeman, priests David Susskind Homosexual priests? Joe Yes, Doctors, accountants Bob Benov there is an organization, City Police Department have recognized organization by the New York City Police Department of homosexual policeman Amy Ashworth It's 10% across the board David Susskind Amy, you'reboasting You think it's abnormal? Amy Ashworth I don't think it's abnormal David Susskind Would you like For more of the population to be homosexual Amy Ashworth No, all I want is for people to understand our children And I'm not talking and doing this for our children I do it for all lesbians and gay people Because I think it's interesting You are a lesbian, or you are gay, and you can be fine You have no job, the loneliness of a gay teenager who doesn't have a home, it's the only minority that doesn't have their parents behind them Everybody has their parents, but if you're gay or lesbian, you can't count on your family And then he Bob Benov Amy said something that I think it's very important I think that almost all gay people when they're struggling with their homosexuality and acknowledging it, feel the loneliness feel like they are alone completely, that there isn't a weather like them And I know that I as a parent of a homosexual when I first found out my wife and I thought we were the only couple on Long Island who had a homosexual child Gloria when my daughter I was just talking to her before I came on the show and She, she does quite a bit of talking to different groups, gay groups, and she says, The loneliest thing in the world is the children or the women that do not have their families backing them And she said the fact that she has her family behind her makes the world of difference in how she feels about herself, and how she could, you know, present herself to other people and help other people in, in the struggle of homosexuality David Susskind What do you think homosexuality is? How it happens? Why it happens? Do you have any idea? Arthur If anybody would know that, it would be a very simple thing? Also, you ask both Amy and Bob, how come? How do they explain the fact that two children are and one isn't, and so on? That question is usually asked by homophobic people because they feel it's catching And it's either catching like a disease or the fact that you're surrounded, or you're in association with a gay person, therefore, they are going to convince you or sell you, homosexuality And in their cases, it proves it very conclusively brought up by the same parents living in the same home In Amy's case, they sandwich one in between the royal males, he escaped, and the other two are And the strangest thing, which he didn't tell you was is that the one son, even though already, the first one had already come out, he was afraid to come out after he had been the first one had been accepted, because he felt it would be too much of a blow now Amy Ashworth A younger son knew he was gay, when the oldest he was 40 And that he couldn't accept himself, he found it very hard David Susskind And he knew his older brother was homosexual as old well why couldn't he accept it because you accepted the older brother Amy Ashworth Well because everybody has their own dream in life And maybe that wasn't his dream And four years later, he wrote us a letter and said, I refuse to be labeled as by society But this is what I am And it took me a while And then I wrote him back And I said, what hurts me the most is that we weren't there to help you, your loneliness And he knew we were working for parents of gays Bob Benov I'll give you a better example of that I have spoken openly and often about my son Jonathan being gay, and never spoke about my other son And as a matter of fact, before I came on this program, when we were talking about it, that I finally spoke to my second son, because he was not out to his grandparents He was out to everybody else David Susskind He declaired to come to come out Bob Benov To come out is to come out of the closet David Susskind come out of the grandparents didn't know he was homosexual Bob Benov still do not know still go And I spoke to him And I said, you know, I'm going to be on this program And I really would like to talk about both of my sons, not just one I said, you know, you're homosexual I know you're homosexual And you declare it, I said, why shouldn't you be out to your grandparents? Why shouldn't you? I think your brother is there It can only make them think that you feel something is wrong about being homosexual I said, Do you have a problem with your homosexuality? And he said, No, not at all? You know, I don't? I said, Well, then why not? declare to them? Let them know, honestly, all of you, and David Susskind why are you so proud of it? I mean, Bob Benov I'm not proud of the fact that they are homosexual David Susskind you want to educate, Bob Benov I'm proud that they are homosexual, acknowledge it, know what they are, and acknowledge it and are free about it And I want the world to know what homosexuality is so that they won't be prejudiced against my children and others Amy Ashworth They congtribute to society and we just want them to be looked upon as contributing people to society Bob Benov I want my son to be able to walk down the street with their mate holding hands as I walk on my wife You know what I want? My son's to be able to have an apartment where they like, no matter who their maid is, just as I can have an apartment where I like, as long as I can pay the rent And I want my children to be able to have any job that they're qualified for, no matter what their orientation is, just as I can get any job that I'm qualified for it David Susskind I'm with you all the way except walking down the street No, I don't walk hand in hand with that I save that for private time walking Bob Benov hand in hand holding hands only Rarely, David Susskind risk is not the issue Gloria The issue is your perception Bob Benov your perception, your perception of the people holding the David Susskind physical manifestations of a homosexual love affair Bob Benov This has nothing to do with a love affair And I walk down the street sometimes I hold Amy's hand if I'm working with friends is that a love affair? We have never had a love affair, I must declare that to everyone David Susskind Alright I withdraw, Amy Ashworth I want to to tell you something that our oldest son has been together with somebody for 13 years And the beginning, he stayed with us for six months, that were the most wonderful months in our life, why he and Dick and I have respect for each other We learn from each other And if I family stays with me longer than a week, I go a little insanity, David Susskind Did you see any physical aspects of their love Did they kiss? Did that bother you? Amy Ashworth No, that doesn't bother me And they are like, you know, you don't feel like hand in hand, walking on the street In the beginning, they weren't very overly affectionate You know, and now it doesn't bother me if they are because what is wrong? When there was wealth, we seem to give medals to people because they kill so well David Susskind You want to give a medals to two men walking down the street? I just think it's offensive to its general norm of behavior but Amy Ashworth Is it acceptable to be left handed, you know, red hair I agree with you, I agree with you I don't like people David Susskind You have your own standards of behavior Bob Benov now what's, what's an issue is what you're considering a normal standard, you're having a double standard, you think it's perfectly normal for a man or woman to walk down the street and hold hands, but not normal for two men or two women And that's really what's wrong There's nothing offensive with holding hands If you're talking about sexual activity I think that's offensive, in public in any case, or excess of display of emotion, I think is offensive, no matter what the sex is of the people involved That's something that belongs in private what people's sex is for people in private, not in public But to display affection by holding hands, I think is ridiculous to say it's offensive, that what's offensive is to think that that's offensive Arthur Just just thrown a little humorous note, I live in the village And so gay people are bound down there We have quite a few And they tell a little story of this Gay a man and his lover We're walking down the street and in front of them There was a heterosexual couple and they were arguing something fierce So Joe talk turned to Bob And he said, Bob, See, I told you those mixed marriages, they never work David Susskind We'll be right back after a pause