CONTEMPORARY STOCK FOOTAGE
BAD HAIR DAY, THE VIDEO. LUCKIEST CAMERAMAN IN THE WORLD FILMS 4 MODELS PREPARING FOR PHOTO SHOOT. MOSTLY, THEY FIDDLE W/ THEIR HAIR; INT dressing room, MS 2 models brushing & blow-drying their hair in front of mirror (only their backs are visible to us); INT same, z-in on CU model spraying & blow-drying her hair & talking. CU confused blonde: 'It smells like hair'. Thanks, professor; INT same, OTS Hawaiian model into mirror for WS 3 models doing hair. Low MS blonde blow-drying hair (looks like Cousin Itt); INT same, low WS 2 hair-obssessed models' asses in tight pants. ECU model applying red lipstick & liner to lips, puckers; INT same, ECU blonde brushing bangs (say that 5 times fast...she couldn't). Low CU blonde brushing hair. Low FS blonde doing hair; INT same, CU Hawaiian girl doing hair & putting on make-up. ECU blonde teasing her frizzy hair w/z-in on CU Hawaiian girl; INT same, WS blonde #2 tells Halloween joke: Q-'Why can't witches have babies? ' A-' Because their husbands have hollow-weenies!'; INT same, WS blonde #2 has to repeat punchline twice before blonde #1 'gets it' ;Which reminds me of the classic: Q-'How do you get a witch pregnant? ' A-'You f*ck her.' I wholly apologize for that. Forgive me; INT same,ECU blonde applying make-up (if she didn't, you'd be able to see right thruher). ECU Hawaiian girl applying make-up; INT same, MS blonde #2 laughs, goes into bathroom & closes door then pan-l to CU Hawaiian girl. ECU same girl brushing face; INT same, z-out to WS Hawaiian girl & her reflection applying make-up on either side of frame. 'This is an illusion', she says; INT same, MS Hawaiian girl hands something to hand that reaches from around corner. CU make-up brush being rubbed in make-up; INT same, CU Hawaiian girl's breasts (in bathing suit) jiggling as she applies make-up (Cinematography by Dan Tester); INT same, CU same girl pulling top SLIGHTLY down to brush around breasts. No nipples, but nice contours are visible; INT same, High CU brunette (where did SHE come from?!?) rolling hair in curling iron. Soundtrack for scene supplied by U2 ;INT same, WS blonde #2 asks if her skirt is too tight. It is. Y'know, she reminds me of Amanda Rodriguez from my old high school; Just a quick word about Amanda: She was the type of girl nobody liked, but would still give their left ball just to see her naked; INT same, Low FS blonde #2 applying toner to legs as per cameraman's directions (he's having way too much fun giving them, too!); INT same, CU tilt-u from ankle to thigh as she slowly applies toner. I can't believe they let a HETEROSEXUAL cameraman shoot this!; INT same, MS brunette bent-over blow-drying her hair w/z-in on ECU Hawaiian girl touching-up around eyes. ECU liner applied to eye; INT same, VAR crazy angles of Hawaiian girl blow-dryingher hair. I think the cameraman had a bit too much coffee today; INT same, Bergman-esque shot w/CU Hawaiian girl in FG drying hair & brunette w/back to camera in BG curling hair. Very poignant; INT same, WS brunette w/curling iron & Hawaiian girl w/blow-dryer discuss how terrible their hair is. Again, very poignant; INT same, Hawaiian girl still drying hair. I haven't seen one girl blow so much since Monica Lewin...oh, forget it; INT same, CU Hawaiian girl bends over & puts mousse in hair. CU brunette brushing on make-up w/tilt-d to CU make-up kit; INT same, OTS MS brunette applying make-up in mirror. CU I'll be damned if Hawaiian Miss isn't back to blow-drying her hair again!; INT same, FS Hawaiian girl blow-drying w/z-in to CU. WS gang in different, flashier outfits w/z-in CU Hawaiian's deep cleavage; INT same, VAR shots gang preening in mirror before their 'big moment!' CU brunette applying red lipstick/color w/ brush. ECU same; INT same, Low canted FS Hawaiian girl in tight, gold outfit touching-up in mirror. CU brunette brushing in-between her cleavage; INT same, VAR shots Hawaiian girl helping brunette apply make-up to her cleavage...oooooh yessssss! Maybe they'll kiss!; INT same, CU Hawaiian girl digging around breast contoursw/ brush & adjusts her left boob, p-out to WS her & brunette in mirror ;INTsame, MS Hawaiian helps brush brunette's breasts again. 'Turn it off...TURN IT OFF!!!' ;INT same, Tight CU both above women getting VERY CLOSE as they help each other w/make-up. Yowza! CU feet in black high-heels ; INT same, ECU blonde #2's well-rounded cleavage peeking between sport jacket, she slowly zips up. Again, faster & from side; INT same, VAR staged shots blonde #2 zipping up back of Hawaiian's blouse. What in God's name is Blonde #1 wearing?!? ;DX OH MY GOD! THEY'VE LEFT THE DRESSING ROOM! MS Hawaiian girl in front of fakey waterfall set struts before camera. Same in WS; DX Low MS Hawaiian girl standing against sky as camera circles around her & she strikes VAR poses. CU Tilt-u to Hawaiian girl; I'm guessing the Hawaiian girl was the cameraman's favorite. ;