Balham, London. <br/> <br/>Children; institutions; charity; nobility. Duchess of Marlborough opens new mothers and babies home at Balham. Opens with shot of duchess; along with old man and a few ladies; approaching camera; then stopping. Cu same; duchess in lace blouse; large hat. Cu women with children;the duchess is weighing a baby with hair all combed into one curl along the middle of its head; like a mohawk; behind the scale; a fat cheeked little girl held by woman. This is funny--the kid being weighed sits playing with a leaf; then looks up at camera with a frown; then rises in a sort of big dish as the duchess puts a weight on the other side.

PLEASE NOTE THERE IS NO TAPE MASTER FOR THIS COMPILATION REEL. ONLY A DIGITAL DMAC ASSET. THIS IS ALL WPVI MATERIAL THIS TAPE WAS RETURNED TO WPVI; SEE DMAC ASSET Joe M also has a quicktime of the entire tape for relay NVS0337WPVI Gary Heidnik Compilation Gary Michael Heidnik (November 22, 1943 - July 6, 1999) was an American murderer who kidnapped <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidnapping>, tortured <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torture> and raped <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape> six women and kept them prisoner in his Philadelphia <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philadelphia>, Pennsylvania <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pennsylvania> basement. Heidnik was sentenced to death <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capital_punishment> and executed by lethal injection <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lethal_injection> in July 1999. 00 00 HEIDNIK PHOTO 00 38 CYRIL BROWN PHOTO 01 08 HEIDNIK WALK THRU 01 41 BROWNARREST AND IN CAR 02 20 BROWN PACKAGE CUT STORY 05 53 CAR AND LICENSE PLATES 03 40 VAN 04 07 HOUSE EXTERIORS 3/25/88 04 40 INITED CHURCH OF THE MINISTERS OF GOD SIGN 04 56 NEIGHBORS AND PLOICE 05 35 MISSING GIRLS PIX 06 15 BODY PARTS IN BOXES 07 15 BOLT CUTTERS 07 40 GARAGE 08 05 HOLE IN YARD 08 17 CHURCH SIGN 08 30 PADLOCK 08 53 6TH STREET AND GIRARD 09 40 HOSPITAL EXTERIOR 10 05 LISA THOMAS - RELATIVE 10 31 BAGS OF EVIDENCE 11 28 JOSEPFINA RIVERA IN CAR - NIGHT SHOT - FOREST AREA 12 20 HEIDNIK WALK WITH A NOSE PATCH 13 15 SANDRA LINDSAY SCHOLL BOOK PIX 13 40 LINDSAY RELATIVE 14 00 LINDSAY HOUSE EXT 1420 ELWYNN INSTITUTE OF REHABILITATION CENTER 14 50 MCDONALD'S EXT 1500 BROWN HOUSE EXT 15 34 CINTRON SPIRITUAL WIFE 16 10 CINTRON IN DISGUISE 16 30 MOHAWK INN NIGHT EXT 16 50 AGNES ADAMS 3/26 INTV - WAS HELD CAPTIVE 24 HRS 18 03 PRESSER 18 30 HEIDNIK WIFE - SHADOW 18 45 CEDAR ST EXT 19 30 CEDAR ST DIG 20 26 HEIDNIK WALK - 4/1/87 21 02 CYRIL BROWN OUT OF POLICE VAN 21 30 HEIDNIK INTO POLICE VAN 22 22 OPENING SEWER LID 22 52 BUSTED SIDEWALK 23 06 MAN INTO SEWER 23 41 COPS PHOTOGRAPHING HOUSE 24 13 WS HEIDNIK HOUSE 24 23 RAKING GARDEN 24 36 POLICE 24 50 NJ POLICE 25 16 YARD DUG UP 26 16 HEIDNIK STUFF REMOVED 26 35 SIDEWALK HOUSE BEING DIGGED 26 46 TOW AWAY VAN 27 07 LISA THOMAS PIX 27 42 BASEMENT PIPES 3/27 27 57 DIG KITCHEN CRAWL SPACE 28 19 SIDE WALK HOLE 29 21 SIFTING 29 54 OVERBROOK APT 30 56 MOHAWK INN DAY 31 27 RIVERA ADAMS WALK 31 50 RIVERA 32 07 KITCHEN CRAWL SPACE 33 17 CAMBRIDGE STREET 33 33 HEIDNIK NEIGHBORHOOD 34 34 HIGH SHOT OF HOUSE 34 54 LEANING ON FENCE 35 10 HEIDNIK WALK 35 27 BROWN WALK 35 40 HEIDNIK WALK 37 01 BROWN IN CUSTODY 37 22 BROWN AFTER RELEASE 37 36 BROWN HUGS FATHER 37 55 CYRIL BROWN AND DAD 40 05 HEIDNIK WALK 41 11 REPORTERS FOLLOW YOUNG WOMAN 41 53 COURT SKETCHES 45 45 RIVERA WALK 46 59 RIVERA WALK 47 20 PERUTO WALK 47 43 REPORTER AND CAMERAMAN ATTACKED 48 06 LISA THOMAS 48 50 COURT SKETCHES 52 45 PERUTO WALK 53 05 SKETCHES 57 54 HEIDNIK WALK 58 06 GALLAGHER PRESSER BITE 59 00 COURT SKETCHES BELOW 01 01 32 JUDGE POSARINA 01 01 47 BILL COSTOPOULOS 01 02 07 CHARLES GALLAGHER

Bali Ostrich Farm Wild Animals

13:52:48:15 13:52:48 commerce working to jumpstart manu with programs to improve sustainability 13:53:02 program to lock promise of new markets and expand exports 13:53:13 increase access to foreign m ...

PLEASE NOTE THERE IS NO TAPE MASTER FOR THIS COMPILATION REEL. ONLY A DIGITAL FILE. THIS IS ALL WPVI MATERIAL NVS0337WPVI Gary Heidnik Compilation Gary Michael Heidnik (November 22, 1943 - July 6, 1999) was an American murderer who kidnapped , tortured and raped six women and kept them prisoner in his Philadelphia Pennsylvania basement. Heidnik was sentenced to death and executed by lethal injection in July 1999. 00 00 HEIDNIK PHOTO 00 38 CYRIL BROWN PHOTO 01 08 HEIDNIK WALK THRU 01 41 BROWNARREST AND IN CAR 02 20 BROWN PACKAGE CUT STORY 05 53 CAR AND LICENSE PLATES 03 40 VAN 04 07 HOUSE EXTERIORS 3/25/88 04 40 INITED CHURCH OF THE MINISTERS OF GOD SIGN 04 56 NEIGHBORS AND PLOICE 05 35 MISSING GIRLS PIX 06 15 BODY PARTS IN BOXES 07 15 BOLT CUTTERS 07 40 GARAGE 08 05 HOLE IN YARD 08 17 CHURCH SIGN 08 30 PADLOCK 08 53 6TH STREET AND GIRARD 09 40 HOSPITAL EXTERIOR 10 05 LISA THOMAS - RELATIVE 10 31 BAGS OF EVIDENCE 11 28 JOSEPFINA RIVERA IN CAR - NIGHT SHOT - FOREST AREA 12 20 HEIDNIK WALK WITH A NOSE PATCH 13 15 SANDRA LINDSAY SCHOLL BOOK PIX 13 40 LINDSAY RELATIVE 14 00 LINDSAY HOUSE EXT 1420 ELWYNN INSTITUTE OF REHABILITATION CENTER 14 50 MCDONALD'S EXT 1500 BROWN HOUSE EXT 15 34 CINTRON SPIRITUAL WIFE 16 10 CINTRON IN DISGUISE 16 30 MOHAWK INN NIGHT EXT 16 50 AGNES ADAMS 3/26 INTV - WAS HELD CAPTIVE 24 HRS 18 03 PRESSER 18 30 HEIDNIK WIFE - SHADOW 18 45 CEDAR ST EXT 19 30 CEDAR ST DIG 20 26 HEIDNIK WALK - 4/1/87 21 02 CYRIL BROWN OUT OF POLICE VAN 21 30 HEIDNIK INTO POLICE VAN 22 22 OPENING SEWER LID 22 52 BUSTED SIDEWALK 23 06 MAN INTO SEWER 23 41 COPS PHOTOGRAPHING HOUSE 24 13 WS HEIDNIK HOUSE 24 23 RAKING GARDEN 24 36 POLICE 24 50 NJ POLICE 25 16 YARD DUG UP 26 16 HEIDNIK STUFF REMOVED 26 35 SIDEWALK HOUSE BEING DIGGED 26 46 TOW AWAY VAN 27 07 LISA THOMAS PIX 27 42 BASEMENT PIPES 3/27 27 57 DIG KITCHEN CRAWL SPACE 28 19 SIDE WALK HOLE 29 21 SIFTING 29 54 OVERBROOK APT 30 56 MOHAWK INN DAY 31 27 RIVERA ADAMS WALK 31 50 RIVERA 32 07 KITCHEN CRAWL SPACE 33 17 CAMBRIDGE STREET 33 33 HEIDNIK NEIGHBORHOOD 34 34 HIGH SHOT OF HOUSE 34 54 LEANING ON FENCE 35 10 HEIDNIK WALK 35 27 BROWN WALK 35 40 HEIDNIK WALK 37 01 BROWN IN CUSTODY 37 22 BROWN AFTER RELEASE 37 36 BROWN HUGS FATHER 37 55 CYRIL BROWN AND DAD 40 05 HEIDNIK WALK 41 11 REPORTERS FOLLOW YOUNG WOMAN 41 53 COURT SKETCHES 45 45 RIVERA WALK 46 59 RIVERA WALK 47 20 PERUTO WALK 47 43 REPORTER AND CAMERAMAN ATTACKED 48 06 LISA THOMAS 48 50 COURT SKETCHES 52 45 PERUTO WALK 53 05 SKETCHES 57 54 HEIDNIK WALK 58 06 GALLAGHER PRESSER BITE 59 00 COURT SKETCHES BELOW 01 01 32 JUDGE POSARINA 01 01 47 BILL COSTOPOULOS 01 02 07 CHARLES GALLAGHER

02:19:29:08 08649409 (before 3a) 086499410 (after 3a) NASA August 6, 2012 Charles Bolden NASA Administrator John Holdren White House Science Advisor John Grunsfeld NASA Associate Administrator Pete Theisinger MSL Project Manager Charles Elachi JPL Director Richard Cook Curiosity's Deputy Program Manager Adam Steltzner NASA's Jet Propulsion Labortatory John Grotzinger Mars Curiosity Rover Project Scientist Bolden Blaze the trail trt :40 oc: in the future. 02:20:43 "Today, right now, the wheels of curiosity have begun to blaze the trail for human blueprints on mars. Curiosity the most sophisticated rover ever built is now on the surface of the red planet where it will seek to answer age old questions about whether life ever existed there on mars or if the planet can sustain life in the future." 02:21:03 Holdren American Ingenuity trt :38 oc: doubts to rest. 02:26:03 "Landing the Mars science laboratory rover curiosity on the surface of the red planet was by any measure the most challenging mission ever attempted in the history of robotic planetary exploration. And if anybody has been harboring about the status of U.S. leadership in space, well there's a one ton automobile sized piece of american ingenuity, and it's sitting on the surface of Mars right now and it should certainly put any such doubts to rest." 02:26:41 Elachi Exploring trt :30 oc: has no limit. 02:37:13 "Tonight we just did the landing. Tomorrow we are going to start exploring Mars, and next week and next month and next year we will be bringing new discoveries every day, every week to all of you and we are going to continue not only exploring Mars, but exploring the solar system and exploring the universe because our curiosity has no limit." 02:37:33 Grunsfeld NASA trt :19 oc: we're on Mars. 02:38:09 "There are many out in the community who say that NASA has lost its way, that we don't know how to explore, that we've lost our moxi. I want you to look around tonight, all those folks with the blue shirts,think about what we've achieved, I think it's fair to say that NASA knows how to explore, we've been exploring and we're on Mars." 02:38:28 Grunsfeld Made in USA trt :15 oc: in the USA. 2:38:48 "It certainly is an international collaboration and we welcome the participation. This feat that you've seen tonight is something only the United States of America can do and the rover is made in the USA." 02:39:03 Steltzner Team trt :22 oc: capable than I. 02:46:20 "I forever secretly have felt that I do not deserve to be in the position of leading the team that I lead because they are certainly in sum and largely by count of individual more capable than I." 02:46:42 Steltzner Satisfied trt :10 oc: ever given. 02:46:59 "In my life, I am and will be forever satisfied if this is the greatest thing i have ever given." 02:47:09 ROUGH LOG: charles bolden 02:20:40 the deep space network made this possible 02:20:43 today the wheels of curiosity have begun to blaze the trail for human blueprints on mars. curiosity the most sophisticate rover ever built is now on the surface of the red planet where it will seek to answer age old questions about whether life ever existed there on mars or if the planet can sustain life in the future 02:21:03 02:21:04 this is an amazing achievement made possible by a team of scientists 02:21:27 trust me the odds of success are about 40 percent but tonight there are at least 4 countries who are on mars and they are on mars because they went with the united states and i want everyone to understand our leadership is going to make the world better and we just succeeded in raising the bar even higher and the descent was dubbed 7 minutes of terror 2:23:22 president obama has laid out a bold plan to land humans on mars and this is the first step to achieving that. john holdren 2:24:03 thank you for sharing that charlie. well todays on mars history was made on earth. the successful landing on curiosity marks what is really an unprecedented tour de fource stand as american point of pride. example of long standing truth for u.s. 2:24:50 thats certainly for all the folks at nasa thanks are due to all of them 2:25:05 our continued progress and space and here on earth - depends on our continuing commitment to science and tech and the passion for adventure that has driven us to explore new worlds and we can ensure america will stay at the forefront 2:25:47 the team here at jpl and nasa that contributed to this achievement and i can only imagine what discoveries 2:26:06 landing the rover on the planet was by any measure was the most difficult***** and if anyone has any doubts about america, theres a one ton piece of robotic american ingenuity on the surface of mars****** 2:26:51 curiosity is going to provide critical information about the red planet and the administration is committed to mars exploration and continuing american leadership on earth and in space charles elachi 2:35:32 tonight was a great drama and i felt like i was in an adventure movie and what a fantastic demonstration of what our nation and agency can do 2:36:13 thank you guys we are so proud of you 2:36:24 just think what an inspiration to the young people to the world by watching what you have accomplished and we hope those who have been sharing this will continue to carry the torch 2:37:13 tonight we just did the landing and tomorrow we are going to start exploring and next week and next month we will continue to explore and because our curiosity has no limit***** john grunsfeld 2:37:58 we said before landing that mars is hard and success is not guranteed and many say that nasa has lost its way and i want you to look around and think about what we've achieved and i think it's fair to say we know what we're doing and we're on mars. ******* 2:38:51 while it is an international collaboration but this is something only the united states can do and the rover is made in the USA**** 2:39:12 just to stay in character, we've been on the surface for one hour eigh minutes 2:39:28 the last 8 months has started to weave an unbelievable story and what we need to pay attention to now the story is just beginning peter theisinger 2:40:17 this is an incredible feeling and to have the privilege to be asked to lead this team and 2:41:06 i never thought i would ever say this, but this is better than that 2:42:48 i'll let richard accept this richard cook 2:43:10 this never gets old 2:43:39 this is inspiring and a little bit overwhelming and i can't let pete compliment me without returning the favor adam steltzner 2:46:16 i am humbled by this experience and i forever have felt that i do not deserve of leading the team that i lead because they are certaintly and largely by count of individual more capable than i *** 2:46:59 in my life i am and will be forever satisfied if this is the greatest thing i have ever given 2:47:18 thats the big pay off and two work as part of such a talented group of people and its a tremendous honor and i think this nation is a truly great representation of a corner or piece of humanity that reaches out and explores and conquers and we are tool makers agriculturists and pioneers and thats reflected tonight and i want to say thank you to the blue shirts john grotzinger 2:50:38 i can gurantee you in the years you're going to hear an amazing side story, but on behalf of everyone we thank everybody that was involved and everybody that pulled this together 2:51:18 10 instruments 7 countries and all of us are the beneficiaries of your hard work and you're seeing it right there and i just want to leave you with one thought of what this brings. there is no greater inspiration for middle school children and the number of hits on the website is unparalleled 2:52:05 the money 2.5 billion, we don't put it in the rover, we spend it here on earth thank you all question and answers 2:53:19 tell us about the landing steltzner 2:53:24 it looks good i'm being a little flip. in short it looked extremely cleaned. we touched down in conditions that were more on the benign side and this is preliminary data 2:54:19 very nominal remarkably good our navigation error was on the low side of expectation question: 2:55:47 what kind of file type and compression that was used to send this back steltzner 2:56:00 don't know the answer to that question: how was working with the other countries richard 2:59:03 in each case we were working with the science teams we had great relationships with the other countries. we certainly had challenges and problems but my experience with the overseas elements was good 3:06:51 we do expect to get more pictures in the upcoming pass 3:07:13 speckles are dust that stuck onto the covers theisinger 3:12:41 we've got a long road ahead of us**** (37:32) /

NAME: US MUSEUM 150904N TAPE: EF04/0920 IN_TIME: 11:12:42:02 DURATION: 00:02:39:16 SOURCES: APTN DATELINE: Washington, 15 Sept 2004 RESTRICTIONS: SHOTLIST: 1. Walk through museum exhibits 2. Various shots of ivory cribbage set shaped like an elk made by Inupiat eskimo in Nome, Alaska circa 1900 3. SOUNDBITE: (English) W. Richard West Jr., museum's founding director and Southern Cheyenne Indian: (Bite opens with museum sign) "The museum opens its doors to the public on September 21st, just a few days away. On the eve of the fall equinox, this new kid on the block, the 18th museum of the Smithsonian Institution, situated at the foot of the US Capitol becomes the first in line of America's grand cultural institutions on the National Mall. Simply stated, the National Museum of the American Indian makes the National Mall a far more complete and inclusive representation of the rich fabric of American heritage." 4. Museum atrium, tilt down to ground floor 5. Entrance to exhibit "Our Universes," UPSOUND drumbeat 6. Stars on ceiling, tilt down to exhibits 7. Woman watching screen in darkened room 8. Two Peruvian statues, one of gold, one of silver 9. Peruvian statue with white face 10. Various of Mexican painted skulls 11. SOUNDBITE: (English) Emil Her Many Horses, curator of "Our Universes" exhibit, Oglala Indian: "It talks about - it establishes who each of the groups are, their philosophy in life, how they're raised, the relationship within their areas and within their world. And it's a reflection of their religious world views." 12. Wall of exhibits showing animal figures 13. Touch screen showing objects in case 14. Painted Mohawk hard hat by Richard Glazer-Danay from Coney Island, New York, 1983 15. Drawer opening to reveal lit interior with other display items 16. Pan of display case from statues to gold objects 17. Gold Chimu mask from Peru circa 1200-1400 18. Pan of unfinished exhibit showing role of guns in Indian life STORYLINE: The finishing touches are being made to the National Museum of the American Indian, which is scheduled to open next week in Washington. The latest addition to the Smithsonian Institution's family of museums and galleries, the museum is the first in the United States to be dedicated exclusively to Native Americans and to present all exhibits from a native perspective. American Indians played crucial roles in the design of the new building, which features curving lines and is reminiscent of adobe Indian dwellings in the American West. The museum is on the National Mall near the US Capitol building, and the founding director, W. Richard West Jr., who is from the Southern Cheyenne tribe, said it would greatly enhance the "fabric of American heritage" on display at the heart of the nation's capital. When the museum is open, about 8,000 objects from the Smithsonian's permanent collection will be on view. The start of the museum's exhibits, titled "Our Universes," focuses on native cosmology and the spiritual relationship between mankind and the natural world. Curator Emil Her Many Horses said eight different cultural groups are represented in the display, ranging from an exploration of the annual ceremonies of native peoples to the celebrations of Peru and Mexico's Day of the Dead. The museum does not ignore difficult issues like hostile relations between Native Americans and white settlers - a still-unfinished display shows guns used by and against American Indians in the past two hundred years.

COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END. COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END.

COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END. COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END.

COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END. COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END.

COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END. COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END.

COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END. COVERAGE IN DENVER, COLORADO FOR A TOM FOREMAN CS VO ABOUT THE NATIONAL CANCER INSTITUTE MAKING A FIVE YEAR $142 MILLION COMMITMENT TO TRY & STEM THE TROUBLING TREND OF TEENS TAKING UP SMOKING. 03:00:02 NO SLATE. CONTINUATION OF INTV W/ SOUTH HIGH SCHOOL YOUTH ABOUT IF HE THINKS HIS ATTITUDE TOWARDS SMOKING MIGHT CHANGE IF HE REACHES AGE 40. 03:01:37 MWS HIGH SCHOOL YOUTHS HANGING OUT. 03:01:56 CU KID WEARING BRACES SMOKING. 03:02:24 MWS KIDS CROSSING STREET. 03:02:28 MLS BEHIND KID W/ MOHAWK SKATE BOARDING. 03:02:47 MWS FIVE TEENAGE BOYS PLAYING W/ A HACKY SACK. 03:03:06 MWS BEHIND TRAFFIC. 03:03:11 ZOOM INTO BILLBOARD ATOP BUILDING W/ PICTURES OF CAMELS & CAPTION READING, VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY. 03:03:28 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:03:44 VS DORAL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD AS VEHICLES DRIVE PAST. 03:04:57 WS CAMEL CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:05:16 COMPRESSION MWS SCHOOL BUS DRIVING DOWN STREET. 03:05:20 PAN UP TO CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:05:31 MWS SAME SCHOOL BUS DRIVING PAST DORAL BILLBOARD. 03:06:13 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU CAMEL BILLBOARD. 03:06:22 VS WINSTON CIGARETTE BILLBOARD. 03:08:15 PUSH IN FROM WS TO CU ENORMOUS MARLBORO MAN BILLBOARD IN PARKING LOT. 03:08:36 VS SAME. 03:09:11 PAN ACROSS SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING AT BOTTOM OF MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:01 VS SAME MARLBORO BILLBOARD. 03:10:57 INT FTG IN MAGAZINE STORE. MWS BEHIND PRE ADOLESCENT BOY LEAFING THROUGH A MAGAZINE. 03:11:25 SAME SHOT BOY SITTING AT EDGE OF MAGAZINE RACK READING. 03:12:24 MS KID READING. 03:12:33 PULL OUT TO WS. 03:13:00 VS SAME KID READING. 03:13:38 CU OVER BOY READING SPORTS MAGAZINE W/ CIGARETTE AD ON OPPOSITE PAGE. 03:14:23 MCU OVER KID THUMBING THROUGH MAGAZINE, STOPPING AT PAGE OPPOSITE CIGARETTE AD. 03:15:22 ECU KID CONTINUING TO THUMB THROUGH MAGAZINE. 03:16:34 VS KID READING MAGAZINE. 03:19:16 MS ADULT LEAFING THROUGH COPY OF VIBE IN FG W/ KID IN BG. 03:19:30 PUSH INTO CU RETRO KAMEL CIGARETTE AD. 03:19:59 PUSH IN FROM MS TO CU KOOL AD IN ADULT'S MAGAZINE. 03:20:48 SAME SHOT AGAIN. 03:21:45 CU LEAFING THROUGH ANOTHER MAGAZINE TO CAMEL MIGHTY TASTY LIFESTYLES CIGARETTE AD. 03:23:17 NIGHT FTG. SU FOREMAN TO END.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE RECORDED ON 11/28/2009. HOST GERARD BUTLER. INCLUDES DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON IN A COLD OPENING "THE ROCK OBAMA" SKIT WHICH SHOWS PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA TURNING INTO THE ROCK ( IN THE SYTLE OF THE THE HULK) WHEN HE BECOMES ANGRY. ORIGINIAL AIR DATE WAS 10/19/2009. 23:30:10 >>> SO WHAT'S NEXT ON THE SCHEDULE, CATE? 23:30:12 >> AS PER YOUR QUESTION, MR. PRESIDENT, SENATOR SNOWE, 23:30:13 McCONNELL AND BAUCUS ARE HERE TO DISCUSS HEALTH CARE. 23:30:14 >> THAT'S GREAT. YOU KNOW, KATIE, THIS IS THE 23:30:15 CLOSEST WE HAVE EVER COME TO REFORM IN THIS COUNTRY. 23:30:17 I JUST NEED EVERYONE TO BEHAVE. >> ARE YOU GOING TO GET ANGRY 23:30:18 WITH THEM? >> NOW, KATIE, NO. 23:30:19 YOU KNOW I DON'T GET ANGRY. I FIND IT WORKS BETTER TO KILL 23:30:20 THEM WITH KINDNESS. SEND THEM IN. 23:30:21 >> MR. PRESIDENT. >> HELLO. 23:30:23 >> SENATOR. >> HELLO. 23:30:24 >> HAVE A SEAT. >> NOW, LOOK, I ASKED YOU ALL 23:30:30 HERE BECAUSE I WANT EVERYONE TO HAVE A VOICE IN THE HEALTH CARE 23:30:33 REFORM DEBATE. NOW, SENATOR BAUCUS, YOU'RE A 23:30:38 MODERATE DEMOCRAT, BUT THANKS TO YOUR EFFORTS IN THE SENATE 23:30:41 FINANCE COMMITTEE, YOU HAVE A VOICE. 23:30:45 SENATOR SNOWE, YOU'RE A REPUBLICAN WHO CROSSED PARTY 23:30:47 LINES TO VOTE FOR THE BAUCUS BILL. 23:30:51 AND YOU HAVE A VOICE. SENATOR McCONNELL, AS THE SENATE 23:30:56 MINORITY LEADER, I WANT YOU TO HAVE A VOICE IN THIS TOO. 23:31:00 NOW, WHAT CAN I DO TO BRING THE REST OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY 23:31:03 INTO THE CONVERSATION? >> WELL, MR. PRESIDENT, MAYBE I 23:31:06 CAN EXPLAIN THE REPUBLICAN POSITION. 23:31:09 IT IS NOT THAT WE WANT HEALTH CARE TO FAIL, WE DON'T. 23:31:12 WE JUST WANT YOU TO FAIL. STOPPING HEALTH CARE REFORM 23:31:17 SEEMS LIKE THE BEST WAY TO DO THAT. 23:31:23 BECAUSE IF YOU FIXED HEALTH CARE, THAT WOULD BE A REAL 23:31:25 VICTORY FOR YOU. AND THAT'S BAD FOR US. 23:31:32 WITH THAT SAID, I COULD SEE US SUPPORTING HEALTH CARE, BUT ONLY 23:31:35 IF YOU SWITCH YOUR POSITION TO AGAINST IT. 23:31:45 >> AHHHH! 23:32:08 >> OH, MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED? 23:32:11 >> YOU MADE BARACK OBAMA ANGRY. YOU MAKE HIM ANGRY, HE TURNS. 23:32:15 HE TURNS INTO "THE ROCK" OBAMA! >> THE ROCK OBAMA? 23:32:28 >> NOW, DON'T BE ALARMED. THE ROCK OBAMA, MUCH LIKE BARACK 23:32:33 OBAMA, ONLY STRONGER AND MORE ANGRY. 23:32:39 NOW, WE GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. KATIE, HOLD CALLS. 23:32:54 NOW, WHERE WERE WE? YOU, LITTLE MAN IN SUIT. 23:32:59 >> ME? >> YES. 23:33:02 WHY FINANCE COMMITTEE NO HAVE PUBLIC OPTION? 23:33:05 >> THE BLUE DOG DEMOCRAT, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE A 23:33:08 DIFFERENT CONSTITUENCY TO ADDRESS. 23:33:10 >> YOU BLUE DOG? ME LIKE DOGS. 23:33:14 >> THANK YOU. >> BARK FOR ME. 23:33:19 >> SORRY? >> BARK FOR ME, LIKE DOG. 23:33:26 [ BARKING ] >> ME LIKE DOG. 23:33:35 ME NO LIKE YOU. >> HEY, NO! 23:33:47 >> YOU. >> WHO, ME? 23:33:50 >> WHY YOU NO WANT FIX HEALTH CARE? 23:33:54 >> WELL, I'M JUST WORRIED IF THERE WAS A PUBLIC OPTION, 23:33:57 PEOPLE WHO LIKE THEIR INSURANCE NOW WOULD LOSE IT. 23:34:02 >> YOU LIKE YOUR INSURANCE? >> I DO. 23:34:07 I DO. >> BETTER CALL YOUR INSURANCE. 23:34:19 TELL THEM YOU NEED NEW ARMS. >> OKAY. 23:34:21 OKAY. >> GO NOW. 23:34:27 GET ARM. >> OUT THE WINDOW? 23:34:29 >> YES. LIKE ARM. 23:34:30 >> OKAY. >> HELLO, LADY. 23:34:39 >> HELLO. >> COME DOWN. 23:34:47 CLOSER. HMM. 23:34:54 YOU REPUBLICAN WHO VOTE FOR BAUCUS BILL. 23:34:56 >> YES. >> BUT YOU PROBABLY NO VOTE FOR 23:34:59 HEALTH CARE ON SENATE FLOOR. >> I MIGHT. 23:35:03 >> TELL TRUTH. >> NO. 23:35:04 PROBABLY NOT. >> PUT HEAD IN HAND. 23:35:09 I SMASH IT NOW. >> REALLY? 23:35:20 REALLY? >> WHO GOT YOU MAD? 23:35:22 >> SENATORS. >> ALWAYS THE SENATORS. 23:35:26 YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE, SNOWE. 23:35:28 THERE YOU GO. GET OUT OF THE DOOR. 23:35:29 THERE YOU GO. >> SENATORS MAKE ROCK OBAMA SO 23:35:34 ANGRY. >> HEY. 23:35:35 LOOK AT ME. ROCK OBAMA, SO ALONE. 23:35:40 >> NO. COME ON. 23:35:41 LOOK AT ME. YOU GOT ME. 23:35:43 WHO'S YOUR PAL? >> JOE BIDEN IS PAL. 23:35:47 >> THAT'S RIGHT, BIG GUY. THAT'S RIGHT. 23:35:48 TAKE A SEAT. LOOK, GO AHEAD, SIT DOWN. 23:35:51 NOW, LOOK, I KNOW THINGS ARE TOUGH RIGHT NOW. 23:35:54 EVERYONE'S ASKING THE WORLD OF YOU, RIGHT? 23:35:56 WANTING YOU TO CLEAN UP A MESS THAT WASN'T YOURS IN THE FIRST 23:35:59 PLACE. >> IT'S TRUE. 23:36:00 NOT MY MESS. >> THAT'S RIGHT. 23:36:01 YOU GOT GENERALS RUNNING THEIR MOUTHS ABOUT POLICY, GOLDMAN 23:36:05 GIVING OUT BILLIONS IN BONUSES, THEN NOBEL PEOPLE GAVE YOU AN 23:36:10 AWARD YOU HAD NO RIGHT IN WINNING. 23:36:14 JUST A LITTLE EARLY. COME ON. 23:36:17 I KNOW. BUT THERE IS SOME GOOD NEWS TOO. 23:36:19 >> WHAT GOOD NEWS? >> I'LL TELL YOU WHAT GOOD NEWS. 23:36:23 THAT KID WHO THEY THOUGHT WAS IN A SPACESHIP, SAFE AND SOUND. 23:36:30 BACK WITH HIS LOVING PARENTS LIVING IN A BOX IN HIS ATTIC. 23:36:32 YEP. IF THAT'S NOT A GREAT STORY THIS 23:36:38 COUNTRY CAN RALLY AROUND, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. 23:36:40 >> IT IS A GOOD STORY. >> REAL GOOD STORY. 23:36:42 REAL GOOD STORY. NOW, I HOPE YOU DON'T GET MAD 23:36:46 ABOUT THIS BUT I MADE A BIDEN BLOOPER. 23:36:49 >> WHAT YOU DO? >> I GAVE MY DRY CLEANING TO THE 23:36:51 CHINESE AMBASSADOR. ALL RIGHT, I KNOW. 23:36:54 I KNOW THE DRILL. WHAT DO WE DO HERE? 23:36:57 WE GO WALL OR WINDOW? >> WALL. 23:36:58 >> WALL IT IS. >> BEING PRESIDENT IS SO HARD. 23:37:11 AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT!" 23:38:38 MUSICAL GUEST -- SHAKIRA 23:38:42 AND YOUR HOST -- GERARD BUTLER! 23:38:52 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GERARD BUTLER! 23:39:13 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANK YOU. 23:39:19 THANK YOU! THANK YOU! 23:39:28 IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE HOSTING "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." 23:39:32 THIS IS -- IT IS ACTUALLY MY FIRST TIME HOSTING WHICH MEANS 23:39:35 I'VE HOSTED MORE THAN ANY OTHER SCOTSMAN IN "SNL" HISTORY. 23:39:38 YEAH! YOU KNOW, AS AN ACTOR, I'M 23:39:49 PRIMARILY KNOWN FOR TWO KINDS OF FILM ROLES. 23:39:51 THERE IS THE KIND WHERE I WEAR A SHIRT, AND THE KIND WHERE I 23:39:54 DON'T. SO IN THE KIND WHERE I DON'T 23:39:58 PEOPLE ARE USUALLY TRYING TO KILL ME LIKE IN THAT "300." 23:40:06 BUT IN THE KIND WHERE I DO WEAR A SHIRT, I'M USUALLY DOING 23:40:09 SOMETHING, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE MORE SENSITIVE, LIKE IN THE FILM 23:40:12 "THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA" WHERE I PLAYED THE PHANTOM. 23:40:17 SO TONIGHT -- TONIGHT I'D LIKE TO SHOW YOU THAT I'M NOT JUST AN 23:40:21 ACTION GUY, THAT I ALSO HAVE A SENSITIVE SIDE WITH A SONG FROM 23:40:27 MY FAVORITE SHIRT-WEARING MUSICAL. 23:40:35 NIGHTTIME SHARPENS HEIGHTENS EACH SENSATION 23:40:41 DARKNESS STIRS AND WAKES IMAGINATION 23:40:49 SILENTLY THE SENSES ABANDON THEIR DEFENSES 23:40:59 >> ACTUALLY A LOT BETTER THAN I THOUGHT. 23:41:05 SLOWLY, GENTLY NIGHT UNFURLS ITS SPLENDOR 23:41:11 >> AHH! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 23:41:26 GRASP IT, SENSE IT TREMULOUS AND TENDER 23:41:35 >> AHH! TURN YOUR FACE AWAY 23:41:40 FROM THE GARISH LIGHT OF DAY 23:41:44 TURN YOUR THOUGHTS AWAY FROM COLD, UNFEELING LIGHT 23:41:51 AND LISTEN TO THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT 23:41:57 CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SURRENDER 23:42:01 TO YOUR DARKEST DREAMS PURGE THE THOUGHTS 23:42:08 OF THE LIFE YOU KNEW BEFORE 23:42:12 CLOSE YOUR EYES LET YOUR SPIRIT START TO SOAR 23:42:24 AND YOU'LL LIVE AS YOU'VE NEVER 23:42:30 LIVED BEFORE SOFTLY, DEFTLY 23:42:38 MUSIC SHALL CARESS YOU >> TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF. 23:42:41 >> NO. SECRETLY POSSESS YOU 23:42:46 OPEN UP YOUR MIND LET YOUR FANTASIES UNWIND 23:42:51 IN THIS DARKNESS THAT YOU KNOW YOU CANNOT FIGHT 23:42:58 THE DARKNESS OF THE MUSIC OF THE NIGHT 23:43:06 >> WE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU. S 23:43:12 SHAKIRA IS HERE. SO STICK AROUND. 23:43:13 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. >>> WELL, HELD LE, IT IS ME 23:43:26 AGAIN, FUQUAY SATINS, OWNER AND PROPRIETOR OF MASON'S SATINS, 23:43:31 MAKERS OF FINE URBAN CHAMPAGNE, INCLUDING GHETTO IMPERIAL, SEXY 23:43:35 8 RESERVE, AND MINNEAPOLIS MYSTERY. 23:43:39 CHAMPAGNE IS FOR MORE THAN JUST DRINKING IT IS ALSO FOR POURING 23:43:42 ON WOMEN AND CELEBRATION OF WEALTH AND SEXUAL EXCESS, WHICH 23:43:45 IS WHY I CREATED THIS. FUQUAY'S SATINS GRAND HOOCHIE 23:43:50 SKANK ROSETTE, A CHAMPAGNE ESPECIALLY DESIGNED TO POUR DOWN 23:43:54 WOMEN'S ASSES. EVERY BRAND COMES WITH A WIDE 23:43:59 MOUTH, AND TWICE THE CARBONATION FOR MORE BUBBLES WITH SUBTLE 23:44:04 TASTES OF APRICOT, GINGER AND ASS. 23:44:09 IT GOES WITH SOME OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS, INCLUDING FISH 23:44:11 STICKS, FRIED RICE AND A STYROFOAM CARTON. 23:44:15 SOME SAY MY NEW CHAMPAGNE TASTES FUNNY. 23:44:17 LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. WAS THAT BEFORE OR AFTER YOU 23:44:19 POURED IT DOWN SOMEONE'S ASS? SO TRY ALL OF MY MASON'S DU 23:44:26 SATINS BRANDS OF URBAN CHAMPAGNE. 23:44:29 MASON'S DU SATINS. YOU GOT $10? 23:44:33 THEN YOU GOT GRAND SKANK HOOCHIE ROSETTE. 23:44:44 >>> FOR THE FIRST TIME IN "SNL" HISTORY, WE HAVE ONE SPONSOR 23:44:47 TONIGHT, BUD LIGHT GOLDEN WHEAT AND THEY GENEROUSLY AGREED TO 23:44:51 GIVE UP SOME COMMERCIAL TIME TO LET YOU SEE MOMENTS FROM DRESS 23:44:54 REHEARSALS THAT WE HAVE COLLECTED OVER THE YEARS. 23:44:56 THE FIRST ONE IS UP AFTER THIS. >>> DON'T GO FUSSING ABOUT MR. 23:45:36 APPLES. HE'S A CANTANKEROUS OLD CUSS. 23:45:39 BUT HASN'T THIS SCANDAL JUST PROVEN THAT THE NEWS GAME IS 23:45:43 ABOUT RATINGS? IT IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE GIVE ME 23:45:47 MORE, GIVE ME BIGGER, GIVE ME BETTER. 23:45:50 >> YES, THAT'S TRUE. BUT WE IN THIS BUSINESS KNOW 23:45:52 WHEN WE HAVE CROSSED THE LINE INTO UNDIGNIFIED JOURNALISM. 23:45:59 >> ANYTIME. >> BUT THERE WILL COME A DAY 23:46:01 WHEN PEOPLE WON'T BE INTERESTED IN STRAIGHT DONKEY RIDING NEWS 23:46:05 SHOWS WITH INDIAN ATTACKS. >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 23:46:07 I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT DAY COMING. 23:46:10 I MEAN, WHERE WOULD PEOPLE GET THEIR NEWS? 23:46:20 >> YOU OKAY, SAM? >> BOY, HE'S GOT SPUNK. 23:46:30 >>> FROM NEW YORK, IT'S BUD LIGHT'S GOLDEN WHEAT EXCLUSIVE 23:46:35 "SNL" VIEWING PARTY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 23:46:37 STAY TUNED TO SEE HOW YOU CAN WIN A TRIP TO NEW YORK TO SEE 23:46:41 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" IN STUDIO >>> HELLO AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER 23:48:01 EDITION OF "GAME TIME WITH RANDY AND GREG," YOUR ONE STOP SHOP 23:48:04 FOR SPORTS TALK. I AM FORMER NFL RUNNING BACK, 23:48:07 RANDY DUKES AND WITH ME AS ALWAYS IS MY CO-HOST GREG. 23:48:11 GREG IS NOT AN ALIEN AND TODAY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ONE THING, 23:48:14 BASEBALL. WE WANT TO KNOW WHO'S GOT 23:48:16 OCTOBER FEVER? SO, LET'S GO TO THE PHONES. 23:48:19 OUR FIRST CALLER IS OUR OLD FRIEND EDDIE FROM YORK, 23:48:21 PENNSYLVANIA. EDDIE, YOU'RE ON "GAME TIME." 23:48:24 >> HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING? FIRST OFF, RANDY, I GOT TO SAY 23:48:27 YOU THOUGHT I WAS A CHUMP FOR BACKING THE ANGELS. 23:48:39 WELL, WHO'S THE CHUMP NOW, CHUMP? 23:48:41 >> WHO'S THE CHUMP NOW, CHUMP? >> ALL RIGHT. 23:48:44 YOU GOT ME. >> ALSO, WHAT'S IT LIKE WORKING 23:48:48 WITH AN ALIEN? >> GREG IS NOT AN ALIEN. 23:48:51 LET'S JUST MOVE ON TO THE NEXT CALL. 23:48:54 >> HA-HA, BASEBALL! >> SHH, SHH, OKAY. 23:49:01 AGAIN, OUR TOPIC IS OCTOBER FEVER AND NOTHING ELSE. 23:49:04 NEXT UP IS JOSH FROM BROOKLYN. JOSH, YOU'RE ON "GAME TIME." 23:49:07 >> HEY, YEAH, LET ME SAY THIS PEOPLE SAY THE ANGELS ARE GOING 23:49:10 TO BEAT THE YANKEES BECAUSE OF TEAM SPEED. 23:49:16 WHAT PLANET ARE THEY FROM, GREG'S? 23:49:17 >> GREG IS FROM EARTH. >> NO, HE'S NOT. 23:49:20 ALL RIGHT, QUESTION FOR GREG. >> GREG. 23:49:21 >> GREG, DO YOU COME IN PEACE OR SHOULD WE BE READY FOR 23:49:23 SOMETHING? >> I'M SORRY, CALLER, WE GOT TO 23:49:26 MOVE ON. OKAY? 23:49:30 >> HIS TAIL'S OUT! [ GROWLING AND CLICKING ] 23:49:36 >> EASY. EASY. 23:49:47 [ CLICKING ] >> YES, WHICH BASEBALL CLUB DO 23:49:50 YOU THINK WILL WIN THE ANNUAL WORLD'S CHAMPIONSHIP THIS YEAR? 23:49:53 >> WHAT? >> OH, FORGET IT, LOOK, I'M A 23:49:55 SCIENTIST FROM NASA, I WANT ACCESS. 23:49:56 PLEASE, THERE IS SO MUCH WE CAN LEARN. 23:49:58 GREG. DO YOU HAVE WATER ON YOUR 23:50:02 PLANET. ONCE FOR NO, TWICE FOR YES. 23:50:05 [ MAKES FUNNY NOISE TWICE ] IS THAT A YES? 23:50:07 >> THAT'S ENOUGH WITH THE CALLERS. 23:50:09 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY WE HAVE CALLERS ON THE SHOW ANYWAY. 23:50:11 IT'S TIME TO BRING OUT OUR FIRST GUEST. 23:50:13 BEFORE HE WAS INJURED LAST SEASON, HE LED THE BLUE JAYS 23:50:15 SAVES AND NOW HE'S HERE TO GIVE US HIS PLAYOFF PICKS. 23:50:19 PLEASE WELCOME CAL SASLO. >> HEY, THANKS FOR HAVING ME ON. 23:50:27 I NEVER MET A REAL LIFE ALIEN BEFORE. 23:50:29 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WHAT ARE YOUR PICKS? 23:50:35 >> WAIT, I GOT A QUESTION. WHY DON'T YOU JUST CALL THE SHOW 23:50:37 "GREG THE ALIEN," I MEAN, THAT'S WHY FOLKS WATCH IT. 23:50:39 TO HEAR HIM TALK AND LOOK AT THE TAIL. 23:50:42 [ SCREAMING ] >> LET GO OF THE TAIL! 23:50:44 LET GO OF THE TAIL! >> IT'S DRY. 23:50:56 >> EASY, BOY. EASY. 23:50:59 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. I'M SORRY, GREG. 23:51:02 I'M SORRY. >> WELL, THAT WAS TOO MANY 23:51:08 THINGS TO ADDRESS. JOIN US NEXT WEEK FOR "GAME 23:51:16 TIME" WITH RANDY AND GREG WHEN WE'LL TALK WITH BASEBALL WITH 23:51:21 MR. -- >>> ON NOVEMBER 7th, HOST AND 23:51:32 MUSICAL GUEST TAYLOR SWIFT. >>> ARE YOU A FATHER? 23:52:11 >> YES, I HAVE THREE BOYS. >> AND ARE THEY INVOLVED IN THE 23:52:14 BROTHERHOOD? >> NO. 23:52:16 MY SON KAREEM JR. CURRENTLY LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE, I 23:52:19 BELIEVE, AND MY OTHER BOY, ANDRE'S MOTHER WON'T TALK TO ME. 23:52:25 SO I'VE LOST TRACK OF HIM. AND MY OTHER SON TREY -- TREY IS 23:52:32 DEAD. >> THAT'S TERRIFIC. 23:52:42 IF YOU'RE JUST JOINING US, IT IS 4:51 IN THE A.M. 23:52:46 YOU'RE WATCHING PERSPECTIVES. I'M LIONEL OSBORNE AND WITH ME 23:52:49 IS COMMUNITY ACTIVIST AT DUKE KAREEM GATES, FOUNDER OF THE 23:52:55 BROTHERHOOD FOR RESPONSIBLE BROTHERS WHO ARE FATHERS. 23:52:57 THEY'RE CELEBRATING THEIR FIRST ANNIVERSARY THIS WEEK AND ALL 23:53:02 ARE WELCOME AND HIS SON IS DEAD. 23:54:48 . OUR ENCHANTED STORY CONTINUES ON 23:54:50 A TARRY NIGHT AS LOVE BEGINS TO BLOSSOM BETWEEN BEAUTY AND THE 23:54:53 BEAST. >> WOULD YOU DO ME THE GREAT 23:55:12 HONOR OF JOINING ME IN A DANCE? >> THE HONOR WOULD BE MINE. 23:55:19 TALE AS OLD AS TIME TRUE AS IT CAN BE 23:55:29 BARELY EVEN FRIENDS THEN SOMEBODY BENDS 23:55:37 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST >> OH, WHENEVER I'M IN YOUR 23:55:44 PRESENCE, I CAN FEEL THE DARK CLOUDS PARTING AND THE SUN 23:55:49 SHINING ON MY FACE. >> THEY SAY TRUE LOVE CAN BREAK 23:55:51 THE CURSE. AND I CAN'T IMAGINE A LOVE MORE 23:55:53 TRUE THAN THIS. >> OH, MY DARLING, I CAN HARDLY 23:56:00 WAIT UNTIL YOUR TRANSFORMATION. [ LAUGHTER ] 23:56:07 >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TRANSFORMATION? 23:56:12 >> WELL, YOU KNOW, THE CURSE WILL BE BROKEN AND THEN YOU CAN 23:56:15 STOP BEING A BEAST. >> YOU THINK I'M A BEAST? 23:56:26 >> YEAH. WE WERE JUST SINGING ABOUT IT. 23:56:28 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 23:56:34 >> NO, IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND. 23:56:36 >> WHOA. THIS IS AWKWARD. 23:56:37 [ LAUGHTER ] >> HOW COULD YOU THINK I WAS THE 23:56:41 BEAST? >> BEAST IS A STRONG WORD. 23:56:44 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STARTED THROWING "BEAST" AROUND. 23:56:50 I'D SAY YOU'RE LIKE A 6. >> A 6? 23:56:55 IN MY VILLAGE, I'M CONSIDERED A GREAT BEAUTY. 23:56:57 >> OH, NO, I KNOW. I'M SURE. 23:57:00 IT'S JUST THAT YOU'RE -- WELL, YOU'RE VERY SLENDER. 23:57:03 AND I DON'T KNOW, I LIKE -- I LIKE A BIG ASS. 23:57:14 >> WHAT? >> I LIKE A BIG ASS! 23:57:21 TALE AS OLD AS TIME [ LAUGHTER ] 23:57:24 >> NO, NO, NO, NO, WAIT A MINUTE. 23:57:25 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 23:57:28 WHAT WERE YOU HOPING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN? 23:57:29 >> WE WOULD SHARE A TRUE LOVE KISS AND THE YOU'D TRANSFORM SO 23:57:32 THAT YOU'D HAVE, YOU KNOW, A BIG OLD ASS! 23:57:34 >> THAT IS SICK. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THOUGHT YOU 23:57:37 WERE THE BEAUTY. >> WHAT'S SO CRAZY ABOUT THAT? 23:57:41 >> LUMIERE, GET IN HERE. >> BONSOIR. 23:57:48 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WHO IS THE BEAUTY AND WHO IS 23:57:51 THE BEAST? >> YOU BOTH LOOK LIKE BEASTS TO 23:57:52 ME. >> WHAT? 23:57:55 >> WELL, I AM A CANDELABRA, I AM ONLY ATTRACTED TO OTHER 23:57:57 CANDELABRAS. ALTHOUGH, ONCE IN COLLEGE I 23:58:00 DATED A MENORAH. [ LAUGHTER ] 23:58:10 >> I THINK, BEAUTY'S IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER. 23:58:12 >> INDEED IT IS. FOR INSTANCE, I AM A CLOCK. 23:58:16 >> SO YOU'RE ONLY ATTRACTED TO OTHER CLOCKS? 23:58:20 >> NO. I LIKE WOMEN LIKE YOU. 23:58:22 >> THANK YOU. >> BUT WITH, LIKE, LIKE A BIG 23:58:25 ASS. [ LAUGHTER ] 23:58:29 OR LIKE A, LIKE A 3:45 ASS. >> WHAT? 23:58:31 >> I'M SORRY. THAT'S CLOCK SLANG, LIKE A 23:58:35 3:45 ASS. [ LAUGHTER ] 23:58:38 YOU KNOW, LIKE A TEAPOT OVER THERE. 23:58:43 >> WELL, THEN, WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST GO HOOK UP WITH HER? 23:58:46 >> WELL, WE DO. ALL THE TIME. 23:58:49 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WHY DO YOU THINK SHE LIVES 23:58:54 HERE WITH US? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ANY OF US 23:58:56 DRINK TEA? >> OKAY, FREAKS. 23:58:58 I'M LEAVING. YOU KNOW WHAT? 23:59:02 HAVE FUN IN YOUR ASS CASTLE. >> HOW DOES SHE KNOW WE CALL IT 23:59:07 AN ASS CASTLE? >> ANYONE CARE FOR A TEA PARTY? 23:59:17 BEAUTY AND THE BEAST [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 23:59:55 >>> ME REMEMBER HIM NOW. HE BEAT UP HOOKER. 23:59:58 THROW HOOKER THROUGH PLATE GLASS WINDOW, MANY STITCH. 00:00:04 >> CUSTOMER LIKE THAT CAUSE MANY PROBLEM. 00:00:07 STATE GAMING COMMISSION TAKE LICENSE FROM MOHAWK. 00:00:10 >> GAMING COMMISSION LIKE BLADES OF GRASS. 00:00:19 PRIDE ONE, 100 MORE GROW BACK. ME SOMETIMES THINK -- 00:00:28 [ LAUGHTER ] >> CHIEF, WANT TO PLAY CARDS? 00:00:34 [ LAUGHTER ] >> MY ANCESTORS BACK TO DAYS 00:00:43 WHERE WE ONLY HAD BINGO AND ONE -- 00:00:46 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 00:02:17 SHAKIRA. 00:02:34 LET'S GO S.O.S. SHE'S IN DISGUISE 00:02:45 S.O.S. SHE'S IN DISGUISE THERE'S A SHE WOLF 00:02:49 IN DISGUISE COMING OUT, COMING OUT, 00:02:53 COMING OUT A DOMESTICATED GIRL 00:02:57 THAT'S ALL YOU ASK OF ME DARLING IT IS NO JOKE 00:03:02 THIS IS LYCANTHROPY THE MOON'S AWAKE NOW 00:03:05 WITH EYES WIDE OPEN MY BODY'S CRAVING 00:03:09 SO FEED THE HUNGRY I'VE BEEN DEVOTING MYSELF 00:03:12 TO YOU MONDAY TO MONDAY AND FRIDAY TO FRIDAY 00:03:15 NOT GETTING ENOUGH RETRIBUTION 00:03:17 OR DECENT INCENTIVES TO KEEP ME AT IT 00:03:18 I'M STARTING TO FEEL JUST A LITTLE ABUSED LIKE A COFFEE 00:03:21 MACHINE IN AN OFFICE SO I'M GONNA GO SOMEWHERE 00:03:24 COZY TO GET ME A LOVER AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT 00:03:28 THERE'S A SHE WOLF IN YOUR CLOSET 00:03:32 OPEN UP AND SET HER FREE THERE'S A SHE WOLF 00:03:36 IN YOUR CLOSET LET IT OUT 00:03:41 SO IT CAN BREATHE SITTING ACROSS A BAR 00:03:53 STARING RIGHT AT HER PREY IT'S GOING WELL SO FAR 00:03:57 SHE'S GONNA GET HER WAY NOCTURNAL CREATURES ARE 00:04:00 NOT SO PRUDENT THE MOON'S MY TEACHER 00:04:04 AND I'M HER STUDENT TO LOCATE THE SINGLE MEN 00:04:08 I GOT ON ME A SPECIAL RADAR AND THE FIRE DEPARTMENT 00:04:11 HOTLINE IN CASE I GET IN TROUBLE LATER 00:04:14 NOT LOOKING FOR CUTE LITTLE DIVOS OR RICH CITY GUYS THAT 00:04:17 JUST WANT TO ENJOY BUT HAVING A VERY GOOD TIME 00:04:19 AND BEHAVE VERY BAD IN THE ARMS OF A BOY 00:04:22 THERE'S A SHE WOLF IN THE CLOSET 00:04:26 OPEN UP AND SET HER FREE 00:04:30 THERE'S A SHE WOLF IN YOUR CLOSET 00:04:33 LET IT OUT SO IT CAN BREATHE 00:04:40 S.O.S. SHE'S IN DISGUISE S.O.S. SHE'S IN DISGUISE 00:04:45 THERE'S A SHE WOLF IN DISGUISE 00:04:49 COMING OUT, COMING OUT, COMING OUT 00:04:54 S.O.S. SHE'S IN DISGUISE S.O.S. SHE'S IN DISGUISE 00:05:02 THERE'S A SHE WOLF IN DISGUISE 00:05:05 COMING OUT, COMING OUT, COMING OUT 00:05:14 THERE'S A SHE WOLF 00:05:20 IN YOUR CLOSET LET IT OUT 00:05:23 SO IT CAN BREATHE [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 00:05:29 >> THANK YOU. >>> CLOSE YOUR MOUTH! 00:06:45 [ LAUGHTER ] -- IN MY CELL BURNING AND HE'S 00:07:01 GOING TO SPEND HIS WEEKEND HOSTING A BEACH PARTY IN A 00:07:06 MANSION. >> COME ON. 00:08:33 >>> Announcer: "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH SETH MEYERS. 00:08:36 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> I'M SETH MEYERS, AND HERE ARE 00:08:40 TONIGHT'S TOP STORIES. >>> ON THURSDAY, A BOY HID IN A 00:08:46 BOX. SO I GUESS THAT WAS A FASTER WAY 00:08:48 TO TELL THAT STORY. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:08:56 . AFTER THE SENATE FINANCE 00:08:57 COMMITTEE APPROVED THE NEW HEALTH CARE BILL THIS WEEK, 00:09:00 PRESIDENT OBAMA DECLARED WE'RE CLOSER BEFORE THAN PASSING 00:09:04 HEALTH CARE REFORM, CLOSER THAN I WAS EVER BEFORE TO BEING 300 00:09:07 YEARS OLD. >>> REPUBLICAN SENATOR 00:09:11 OLYMPIA SNOWE WARNED TUESDAY THAT WHILE SHE CROSSED PARTY 00:09:14 LINES TO VOTE FOR THE NEW HEALTH CARE BILL IN COMMITTEE, THAT 00:09:16 DOESN'T MEAN SHE WILL VOTE FOR IT WHEN IT REACHES THE SENATE 00:09:17 FLOOR. ADDING, "COME ON, GUYS, CHASE 00:09:24 ME." OLYMPIA SNOWE'S VOTE WAS HAILED 00:09:26 AS A VICTORY FOR BIPARTISANSHIP. SO NOW YOU ONLY NEED ONE 00:09:28 REPUBLICAN TO BE BIPARTISAN? THOSE ARE PRETTY LOW STANDARDS. 00:09:32 THAT'S LIKE SAYING YOU'RE BILINGUAL IF YOU SAY HOLA TO THE 00:09:34 NANNY. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:09:40 >>> IN A SPEECH TO THE HUMAN RIGHTS CAMPAIGN, THE NATION'S 00:09:42 LARGEST GAY RIGHTS GROUP, PRESIDENT OBAMA ON SATURDAY 00:09:45 PLEDGED TO END THE MILITARY'S "DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL" POLICY. 00:09:48 EVEN BETTER FOR GAYS, IT'S BEING REPLACED WITH A NEW POLICY, 00:09:51 "TRUTH OR DARE." >>> HERE TO OFFER THEIR 00:09:58 PERSPECTIVE ON THE ENDING OF THE MILITARY'S DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL 00:10:03 POLICY, TWO GAY GUYS FROM NEW JERSEY WHO ARE IN THE MILITARY. 00:10:13 >> THANKS FOR BEING HERE, GUYS. YOU'VE BEEN HERE TO TALK ABOUT 00:10:21 WHAT IT IS LIKE BEING GAY IN NEW JERSEY. 00:10:22 AND HERE TONIGHT, YOU'RE HERE TONIGHT TO ADMIT YOU'RE GAY AND 00:10:24 IN THE MILITARY? >> OH! 00:10:26 NOT AT ALL. SEE, WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT, 00:10:28 SETH. IF WE ADMITTED THAT, WE WOULD 00:10:31 GET KICKED OUT. >> AND WE DON'T WANT TO GET 00:10:33 KICKED OUT. WE LOVE THE ARMY. 00:10:34 >> YEAH, DEFENDING THIS GREAT LAND. 00:10:36 >> STANDING UP FOR FREEDOM. >> GOING ON MISSIONS. 00:10:37 KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF MISSIONS IS, SETH? 00:10:39 >> WHAT? >> THE DEBRIEFING. 00:10:42 >> THIS ONE CAN'T WAIT TO GET DEBRIEFED. 00:10:43 >> HEY! >> SO WAIT. 00:10:48 ARE YOU GUYS GAY? >> ONE DAY OUR MILITARY WILL 00:10:51 MOVE INTO THIS CENTURY, SETH. UNTIL THEN, I CAN ONLY IDENTIFY 00:10:53 MYSELF BY NAME AND RANK. PRIVATE FIRST CLASS TONY DONATO. 00:10:59 >> WHEREAS I IDENTIFY HIM BY HIS FIRST CLASS PRIVATES. 00:11:02 >> HOO-AH! >> I GOT TO SAY, THE WAY YOU 00:11:09 GUYS ARE ACTING IS GOING TO MAKE PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE GAY. 00:11:15 >> YOU KNOW, THEY CAN THINK WHAT THEY WANT, BUT THEY CAN'T ASK. 00:11:18 IF THEY WANT TO KNOW, THEY'LL HAVE TO REPEAL THIS 00:11:20 DISCRIMINATORY POLICY. >> AND UNTIL THEN, WE'RE GOING 00:11:21 TO JUST GO ABOUT OUR ARMY BUSINESS. 00:11:27 >> STRIPPING AND CLEANING OUR RIFLES, POLISHING OUR HELMETS. 00:11:34 YOU SHOULD SEE HOW SHINY HE GETS IT. 00:11:39 YOU CAN SEE YOUR REFLECTION IN HIS HELMET. 00:11:43 >> YEAH. YOU LOVE TO SEE YOUR REFLECTION 00:11:44 IN IT. >> YOU LOVE IT WHEN IT REFLECTS 00:11:46 ME. >> HOO-AH. 00:11:52 >> HOO-AH. >> GUYS, GUYS, COME ON, THAT'S 00:11:58 ENOUGH. >> LOOK, SETH, WE MAY OR MAY NOT 00:12:12 BE GAY, BUT WE LOVE OUR COUNTRY. SO MUCH THAT WE'RE WILLING TO 00:12:17 MAKE THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE. >> RISKING LIFE FOR COUNTRY? 00:12:19 >> OH, THAT TOO, BUT I MEANT WEARING KHAKI. 00:12:22 [ LAUGHTER ] >> IT REALLY SEEMS LIKE YOU GUYS 00:12:26 MIGHT BE GAY. >> ALL I CAN SAY IS I'M HONORED 00:12:28 TO SERVE IN THE GREATEST MILITARY ON EARTH. 00:12:31 >> WELL, ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE AT "WEEKEND UPDATE," I WANT TO 00:12:33 THANK YOU BOTH FOR YOUR SERVICE. >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 00:12:38 AND WE'RE GOING TO GET BACK TO THE BASE. 00:12:40 >> OH, YEAH? WHERE ARE YOU GUYS STATIONED? 00:12:43 >> FT. DIX. HOO-AH! 00:12:45 >> TWO GUYS FROM NEW JERSEY WHO ARE IN THE MILITARY. 00:12:54 >>> THE DOW JONES ON THURSDAY ROSE PAST THE 10,000 MARK FOR 00:12:57 FIRST TIME IN OVER A YEAR. "HOORAY," SHOUTED 15 MILLION 00:13:01 UNEMPLOYED AMERICANS WATCHING CNN IN THEIR PAJAMAS IN THE 00:13:03 MIDDLE OF THE DAY. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:13:17 >>> IN OTHER NEWS THIS WEEK, THE SENATE FINANCE COMMITTEE VOTED 00:13:21 TO -- OH, NO. IT IS THE BALLOON FROM COLORADO. 00:13:24 >> HEY, SETH, HOW IS IT GOING? >> GET OUT OF HERE, BALLOON. 00:13:27 >> WHY? >> BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT NEWS. 00:13:29 >> BUT I WAS ON THE NEWS FOR A WHOLE DAY. 00:13:31 >> THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU NEWS, BALLOON. 00:13:34 >> WHAT IF I TOLD YOU I HAD A BOY INSIDE OF ME. 00:13:37 >> DO YOU HAVE A BOY INSIDE OF YOU, BALLOON? 00:13:39 >> NO. >> YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE, 00:13:44 BALLOON. >> SETH? >> I'M SORRY. 00:13:50 NOT MY FAULT. >> IT IS OKAY, BALLOON. 00:13:52 >> I'M JUST A BALLOON. >> NOBODY'S BLAMING YOU, 00:13:56 BALLOON. >> REALLY? >> OKAY. 00:13:57 I'M GOING TO GO. >> ALL RIGHT, BYE, BALLOON. 00:13:59 >> OH, SETH? >> WHAT. 00:14:01 >> IT WAS A HOAX. >> YEAH, WE KNOW. 00:14:05 THE BALLOON FROM COLORADO, EVERYBODY. 00:14:11 >>> A JUSTICE OF THE PEACE IN LOUISIANA REFUSED TO ISSUE A 00:14:14 MARRIAGE LICENSE TO AN INTERRACIAL COUPLE. 00:14:16 HE DEFENDED HIS ACTIONS SAYING, "I'M NOT A RACIST, I JUST DON'T 00:14:19 BELIEVE IN MIXING THE RACES THAT WAY." 00:14:21 OKAY, JUST A TIP FOR ALL YOU RACISTS OUT THERE. 00:14:24 NEVER FOLLOW A DENIAL OF RACISM WITH THE DEFINITION. 00:14:29 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> NOW WITH A SPECIAL MESSAGE, 00:14:40 SCOTLAND'S FAVORITE SON, GERARD BUTLER. 00:14:44 >> HI, SETH. >> SO WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND? 00:14:47 >> WELL, SETH, YOU KNOW, MY FAMILY, THEY'RE VERY EXCITED 00:14:50 THAT I'M HOSTING TONIGHT SO THEY'RE ALL WATCHING LIVE ON 00:14:53 SATELLITE BACK IN SCOTLAND. AND I WAS HOPING I COULD TAKE A 00:14:57 MOMENT TO SAY HELLO TO THEM. >> YEAH, OF COURSE. 00:14:59 >> OKAY, AND I'LL BE SPEAKING TO MY FAMILY IN MY NATIVE SCOTTISH 00:15:05 TONGUE SO YOU TO MIND INTERPRETING? 00:15:07 >> YEAH, MY SCOTTISH ISN'T GREAT BUT I'LL DO MY BEST. 00:15:09 >> GREAT, LET'S DO IT. CAN I HAVE SOME MUSIC PLEASE? 00:15:20 >> MA, DA, LOOK AT ME HERE. 00:15:23 I'M ON THE TELLY. >> MOTHER, FATHER, LOOK AT ME, I 00:15:24 AM ON TELEVISION. >> I'M A WEE BIT KNACKERED FROM 00:15:29 THE WEEK, AND I HOPE TONIGHT GOES WELL. 00:15:31 >> I AM A LITTLE BIT SLEEPY TIRED, BUT I KNOW TONIGHT WILL 00:15:33 BE 100% AWESOME. >> THIS WEEK HAS BEEN FUN DABBY 00:15:41 DOZY, MOST FUN SINCE I MADE "300." 00:15:43 THAT MOVIE WAS GREAT. >> THIS WEEK HAS BEEN GOOD. 00:15:47 THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD SINCE I MADE "300." 00:15:51 MAN, THAT MOVIE WAS GAY. >> NEW YORK IS PURE BRILLIANT, 00:16:03 BY THE WAY. THERE ARE SO MANY COLORFUL 00:16:05 CHARACTERS. >> I HAVE MET A LOT OF JEWISH 00:16:07 PEOPLE. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:16:14 >> I WAS WALKING HOME FROM THE STUDIO LAST NIGHT, THE BUILDINGS 00:16:18 WERE ALL LIT UP. I BUMPED INTO THIS LITTLE BONNIE 00:16:21 BIRD NEAR THE PARK. TURNS OUT SHE WAS STAYING RIGHT 00:16:23 IN MY HOTEL. IT'S WHAT FOLKS HERE CALL A NEW 00:16:26 YORK MOMENT. >> I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SLEPT 00:16:30 WITH A PROSTITUTE LAST NIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:16:34 >> HEY, LITTLE COUSIN DONALD, IF YOU'RE WATCHING RIGHT NOW, I'VE 00:16:38 GOT A MESSAGE FOR YOU. [ THICK SCOTTISH BROGUE ] 00:16:49 >> I DEFINITELY SLEPT WITH A PROSTITUTE. 00:16:53 >> WELL, THAT'S IT, I GUESS. I MISS YOU ALL. 00:16:55 I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN AND HEAR THE SWEET BELLS OF 00:16:58 PAISLEY ABBEY. >> I'M NEVER COMING BACK TO 00:17:00 SCOTLAND. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:17:06 >> THANK YOU SO MUCH, SETH. >> GERARD BUTLER, EVERYONE! 00:17:15 SO GLAD I TOOK SCOTTISH IN COLLEGE. 00:17:17 >>> IT WAS REVEALED THIS WEEK THAT THE CAST OF THE UPCOMING 00:17:20 CELEBRITY APPRENTICE WILL INCLUDE SHARON OSBOURNE, SINBAD 00:17:24 AND ROD BLAGOJEVICH. I THINK WE FINALLY REACHED THE 00:17:35 POINT IN OUR SOCIETY WHERE CELEBRITY JUST MEANS MAMMAL. 00:17:38 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THE DIRECTOR OF HEALTH CARE 00:17:46 RENSSELAER POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE IN NEW YORK STATE BANNED BEER 00:17:48 PONG THIS WEEK AFTER SEVERAL STUDENTS GOT SWINE FLU FROM 00:17:49 PLAYING THE POPULAR DRINKING GAME. 00:17:50 THOUGH IT COULD ALSO HAVE BEEN THE RESULT OF ANOTHER POPULAR 00:17:52 DRINKING GAME, "MAKE OUT WITH A STRANGER." 00:17:57 >>> A COMPANY THAT DESIGNS FONTS IS SUING NBC FOR $2 MILLION FOR 00:17:59 TRADEMARK INFRINGEMENT FOR USING THEIR FONTS DURING A RECENT 00:18:01 AD CAMPAIGN. JOKE'S ON THEM. 00:18:03 WE DON'T HAVE $2 MILLION. >>> A DISABLED MAN IN GEORGIA 00:18:11 WHO HAD HAD HIS WALLET STOLEN AT GUNPOINT SAID ALL HE WANTS BACK 00:18:13 IS HIS LUCKY PENNY THAT WAS IN THE WALLET. 00:18:17 I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS THAT LUCKY, MAN WHO WAS ROBBED AT 00:18:19 GUNPOINT. >>> "GLAMOUR" MAGAZINE RECENTLY 00:18:23 PROFILED A GROUP OF WOMEN WHO SUFFER FROM A RARE CONDITION 00:18:25 CALLED PGAD, OR "PERSISTENT GENITAL AROUSAL DISORDER," AN 00:18:30 ACTUAL CONDITION IN WHICH WOMEN EXPERIENCE NUMEROUS UNWANTED 00:18:33 ORGASMS THROUGH THE COURSE OF THE DAY. 00:18:35 HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS RECOVERING PGAD SUFFERER 00:18:37 TAMERA PARKS. [ APPLAUSE ] 00:18:47 >> HI. LITTLE EMBARRASSING. 00:18:49 >> YEAH, I CAN IMAGINE THIS IS A VERY SENSITIVE AND PERSONAL 00:18:51 TOPIC. >> IT IS. 00:18:56 HOPEFULLY BY COMING HERE I'M ABLE TO SHED SOME LIGHT ON THIS 00:18:59 VERY MISUNDERSTOOD CONDITION. IT IS NOT AS FUN AS IT SOUNDS. 00:19:03 BEFORE I GOT TREATMENT, I WAS HAVING 200 EPISODES A DAY. 00:19:08 >> AND WHEN YOU SAY EPISODES, YOU MEAN -- 00:19:09 >> HEAD TO TOE SCREAMING ORGASMS. 00:19:11 >> OH. >> YEAH, YEAH. 00:19:12 IT CAN REALLY SCREW UP YOUR DAY. >> SO WHAT CAUSES PGAD? 00:19:19 >> DOCTORS AREN'T SURE, AND IT CAN BE TRIGGERED BY ALMOST 00:19:25 ANYTHING, EXERCISE, GOING UP AND DOWN STAIRS, BUMPY CAR RIDE, 00:19:28 MUSIC WITH TOO MUCH BASS. COLD WIND, WARM WIND. 00:19:38 >> THAT'S TERRIBLE. >> BUT LUCKILY WITH THE HELP OF 00:19:46 MY PHYSICIAN, I'M ABLE TO FIND TREATMENT. 00:19:48 AND TODAY I CAN SAY THAT I AM FULLY -- HNN. 00:19:53 SORRY. I AM FULLY -- 00:19:59 [ LAUGHTER ] ONE SECOND. 00:20:02 OKAY. I'M FINE. 00:20:04 WAIT A MINUTE. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:20:25 >> ARE YOU OKAY? >> YES. 00:20:29 MM-HMM. MM-HMM. 00:20:33 I THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, BUT IT DIDN'T. 00:20:43 OKAY. IS THERE A SUBWAY UNDER THIS 00:20:45 BUILDING? [ LAUGHTER ] 00:20:48 >> ACTUALLY, THE "B" TRAIN RUNS RIGHT UNDERNEATH US. 00:20:50 >> OKAY, YEAH, THOUGHT SO. OKAY. 00:20:55 IT'S GONE. I'M FINE. 00:20:57 AS I WAS SAYING, IS THERE A WIND IN HERE? 00:21:00 IS THERE A WIND? >> NO. 00:21:01 NO WIND. >> OH, MERRY CHRISTMAS. 00:21:10 OH, THAT DOESN'T HELP. I THINK I SHOULD GO. 00:21:16 >> OKAY. >> WELL, THANK YOU FOR COMING. 00:21:21 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] I JUST MEANT -- 00:21:33 >> THAT'S OKAY. I HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE. 00:21:35 I'M FINE NOW. >> CAN I HELP YOU UP. 00:21:41 >> NO. >> SORRY. 00:21:43 >> THANK YOU. >> TAMERA PARKS, EVERYONE! 00:21:55 >>> NORA, A 5-YEAR-OLD CAT WHO LIKES TO BANG PIANO KEYS AS 00:21:56 SHE'S ACT ACTUALLY PLAYING HAS BEEN NAMED CAT OF THE YEAR BY 00:21:58 THE ASPCA. AS IN, "HONEY, THE CAT OF THE 00:21:59 YEAR JUST THREW UP AGAIN." [ LAUGHTER ] 00:22:04 YOU GUYS FELL FOR THAT CAT. >>> STARTING MONDAY, 7-ELEVEN 00:22:09 WILL START TESTING A NEW PLASTIC WRAP TO KEEP BANANAS FIRM FOR 00:22:14 FIVE DAYS. THOUGH IF YOUR BANANA REMAINS 00:22:18 FIRM FOR MORE THAN FIVE DAYS, CALL YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. 00:22:23 >>> FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE," I'M SETH MEYERS. 00:22:44 >>> SHE ENJOYED GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET WEARING COLORFUL 00:22:48 TURBANS. ME TOO. 00:22:49 >> SHE'S OKAY. SHE'S BACK. 00:22:50 >> IN THE EARLY '90s, SHE APPEARED NUDE -- 00:22:56 [ LAUGHTER ] >> SORRY. 00:23:02 >> WE APOLOGIZE. SO SORRY. 00:23:07 >> AN ORANGUTAN IN A MALAYSIAN WILDLIFE SANCTUARY SNATCHED A 00:23:12 FRENCH TOURIST BACKPACK AND BIT HER WHILE PULLING OFF HER SHOES, 00:23:15 SOCKS AND PANTS. THOUGH IN THE ORANGUTAN'S 00:23:18 DEFENSE, THAT HAD TO HAVE TAKEN A LITTLE -- SORRY. 00:23:28 >> ABOUT 100 SMALL BOATS CARRYING SEAL HUNTERS WERE 00:23:32 TRAPPED BY THICK ICE OFF CANADA'S ATLANTIC COAST. 00:23:34 AFTER A DAY, THE ICE THAWED ENOUGH FOR THEM TO KILL A WHOLE 00:23:38 BUNCH OF SEALS. >> OH, SETH. 00:23:40 >> FOR YOU, DRESS REHEARSAL. THAT WILL NOT BE RECYCLED. 00:24:23 >>> FROM PHILADELPHIA, IT IS BUD LIGHT'S GOLDEN WHEAT'S EXCLUSIVE 00:24:27 "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" VIEWING PARTY. 00:24:28 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. WE'RE HERE LIVE IN NEW YORK, AND 00:24:30 YOU COULD BE TOO. JUST GO TO NBC.COM TO ENTER THE 00:24:37 GOLDEN LIGHT "SNL" SWEEPSTAKES FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS 00:24:42 TO "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." YOU ARE ABOUT 00:25:13 TO ENTER A PLACE... A PLACE WHERE TIME 00:25:15 AND SPACE COLLIDE... WHERE YOU CAN SHARE... 00:25:21 BUZZ... DESTROY... 00:25:24 A PLACE THAT WILL LAUNCH A BILLION YODELS... 00:25:28 A PLACE SHAPED LIKE YOU... BROUGHT TO YOU... 00:25:31 MADE...BY YOU. IT STARTS WITH YOU... 00:25:35 STARTING TODAY. YAHOO. 00:25:39 YAHOO IT'S YOU. 00:25:55 >>> SPARTANS, A NEW AGE HAS BEGUN. 00:25:57 AN AGE OF FREEDOM. AND ALL WILL KNOW THAT 00:26:02 300 SPARTANS GAVE THEIR LAST BREATH TO DEFEND IT. 00:26:07 [ BATTLE CRY ] >> EXCUSE ME, KING LEONIDAS. 00:26:15 REAL QUICK BEFORE WE GO INTO BATTLE, A LOT OF US HAVE BEEN 00:26:18 WONDERING ABOUT THAT PROMISE YOU MADE A WHILE AGO. 00:26:21 >> OH, RIGHT. I KNOW. 00:26:27 WELL, ABOUT A YEAR AGO I PROMISED TO RESCIND SPARTA'S 00:26:31 "DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL" POLICY. AND I STILL INTEND TO DO THAT AT 00:26:35 SOME POINT, BUT NOW'S NOT REALLY THE TIME. 00:26:37 >> IT'S NEVER THE TIME, LEONIDAS. 00:26:40 >> LOOK, THERE'S A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW. 00:26:45 WE'RE IN A WAR IF YOU HADN'T NOTICED. 00:26:49 THE ECONOMY IS BAD. AND WHAT DOES IT MATTER ANYWAY? 00:26:52 WE ARE THE GREATEST ARMY EVER ASSEMBLED. 00:26:54 IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OF YOU ARE GAY. 00:26:58 >> RIGHT. >> I MEAN, TAKE ASTINOS, HERE. 00:27:07 ASTINOS, WHO DESIGNED OUR UNIFORMS. 00:27:09 ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU'RE GAY? >> ARE YOU ASKING FOR YOURSELF 00:27:11 OR A FRIEND? [ LAUGHTER ] 00:27:15 >> VERY FUNNY. AND STEPHANOS AND ENOCH. 00:27:22 INSEPARABLE FRIENDS. NOW WHEN STEPHANOS JOINED THIS 00:27:25 ARMY, YOU TOOK HIM UNDER YOUR WING. 00:27:26 >> I DID. >> YOU COULD ALMOST SAY 00:27:30 STEPHANOS IS LIKE A SON TO YOU. >> OH, PLEASE, DON'T PUT IT LIKE 00:27:32 THAT. >> EVERY NIGHT YOU TWO WOULD 00:27:37 WALK IN THE WOODS, TOGETHER, FOR HOURS. 00:27:41 NOW, IMAGINE HOW AWKWARD THOSE WALKS WOULD BE IF ONE OF YOU 00:27:43 WERE GAY. >> WELL, THAT WOULD BE AWKWARD 00:27:48 IF ONE OF US WERE GAY. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:27:55 >> LEONIDAS IS RIGHT. LOOK, I'M AS STRAIGHT AS THEY 00:28:00 COME AND I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FIGHT IF I THOUGHT SOME GAY GUY 00:28:02 WAS CHECKING OUT MY BODY. >> YEAH, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT 00:28:06 THAT. >> NOW, PLEASE, PUT YOURSELF IN 00:28:11 MY POSITION. I HAVE PUBLIC OPINION TO KEEP IN 00:28:14 MIND. 40% OF SPARTA CONSIDERS 00:28:17 HOMOSEXUALITY AN ILLNESS. >> WELL, 40% OF SPARTA DOESN'T 00:28:21 BELIEVE YOU WERE BORN IN GREECE. >> I HAVE A BIRTH CERTIFICATE. 00:28:32 >> WE'RE NOT FIGHTING UNTIL YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND. 00:28:35 >> ALL RIGHT. SEEMS I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE. 00:28:38 I DIDN'T BECOME LEADER OF AN ARMY THIS TOUGH, THIS 00:28:42 AGGRESSIVE, THIS -- WHAT'S THE WORD I'M LOOKING FOR? 00:28:44 >> FIERCE! >> EXACTLY. 00:28:50 FIERCE. I DIDN'T BECOME LEADER OF AN 00:28:53 ARMY THIS FIERCE BY CLINGING TO MY POPULARITY. 00:28:56 SO AS OF TODAY, I DECLARE SPARTA'S "DON'T ASK DON'T TELL" 00:29:00 BAN OFFICIALLY REPEALED. YES? 00:29:08 SO IF YOU'RE GAY, FEEL FREE TO RAISE YOUR HAND, PROUDLY AND 00:29:11 PUBLICLY. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:29:18 OKAY, OKAY. I KNOW YOU ALL WANT TO SUPPORT 00:29:26 YOUR FELLOW SOLDIERS, BUT WHO HERE IS ACTUALLY GAY? 00:29:31 [ LAUGHTER ] REALLY? 00:29:34 EVERYONE? EVEN YOU, STILIOS? 00:29:42 >> YEAH. >> SO WHEN YOU OIL ME UP BEFORE 00:29:46 BATTLE -- >> NO STRATEGIC VALUE. 00:29:49 JUST WANTED TO GET MY HANDS ON YOU. 00:29:52 [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND THE LEATHER SHEATH YOU 00:29:58 MADE ME FOR MY PENIS? >> I JUST NEEDED A REASON TO 00:30:02 MEASURE IT. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:00:00 00:29:01 SPARTA'S "DON'T ASK DON'T TELL" BAN OFFICIALLY REPEALED. 00:29:06 YES? SO IF YOU'RE GAY, FEEL FREE TO 00:29:12 RAISE YOUR HAND, PROUDLY AND PUBLICLY. 00:29:16 [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY, OKAY. 00:29:27 I KNOW YOU ALL WANT TO SUPPORT YOUR FELLOW SOLDIERS, BUT WHO 00:29:30 HERE IS ACTUALLY GAY? [ LAUGHTER ] 00:29:35 REALLY? EVERYONE? 00:29:43 EVEN YOU, STILIOS? >> YEAH. 00:29:47 >> SO WHEN YOU OIL ME UP BEFORE BATTLE -- 00:29:49 >> NO STRATEGIC VALUE. JUST WANTED TO GET MY HANDS ON 00:29:52 YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:29:58 >> AND THE LEATHER SHEATH YOU MADE ME FOR MY PENIS? 00:30:02 >> I JUST NEEDED A REASON TO MEASURE IT. 00:30:06 [ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL THE TIMES WE HAD SEX 00:30:16 >> OH, SO GAY REASONS. >> ALL RIGHT. 00:30:20 WELL, YOU'RE STILL THE GREATEST ARMY ON EARTH. 00:30:24 AND IF WE LIVE TO SEE TOMORROW, I'M SURE WE'LL HAVE A GOOD LAUGH 00:30:27 ABOUT THIS IN THE BATH HOUSE. OH, THE BATH HOUSE! 00:30:31 OKAY, THIS IS ALL STARTING TO MAKE MORE SENSE. 00:30:38 BUT TONIGHT WE DIE IN HELL! [ CHEERS ] 00:31:26 >>> FROM CHICAGO, IT IS BUD LIGHT'S GOLDEN WHEAT'S EXCLUSIVE 00:31:30 "SNL" VIEWING PARTY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 00:31:46 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, YOU GUYS. 00:31:55 [ RINGING ] HOLD ON. 00:32:12 HELLO? YES. 00:32:15 REALLY? SPLENDID. 00:32:18 WE'RE GOING TO THE DOLCE GABBANA SHOW. 00:32:22 HOW FAST CAN YOU HAVE YOUR BAGS PACKED FOR MILAN? 00:32:28 >> I GOT MY BAG PACKED ALREADY. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:32:43 >> WANT TO SEE "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" IN PERSON? 00:32:44 ENTER THE BUD LIGHT GOLDEN WHEAT "SNL" SWEEPSTAKES AND YOU AND A 00:32:49 FRIEND COULD WIN A TRIP TO NEW YORK AND TICKETS TO SEE THE SHOW 00:32:51 LIVE. JUST GO TO NBC.COM FOR ALL THE 00:32:54 DETAILS. 00:34:00 IT'S "WHAT'S UP WITH THAT," TACKLING THE ISSUES OF TODAY 00:34:05 WITH SOUL, WITH ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVIST AND AUTHOR, LESLIE 00:34:10 FOREE, JAMES FRANCO, AND MUSICIAN LIZZIE BUCKINGHAM. 00:34:15 AND NOW, HERE'S YOUR HOST D'ANDRE COLE. 00:34:21 WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND I GOT OUT OF BED 00:34:23 HAD A BIG OLD CUP OF COFFEE TO CLEAR MY HEAD 00:34:25 TELEPHONE RANG AND YOU WANT TO CHAT 00:34:28 WELL, SIT ON DOWN AND TELL ME "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:34:31 OH WEE "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:34:36 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" OH WEE 00:34:40 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:34:44 HE SAID, SHE SAID WE SAID, LEE SAID 00:34:52 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" WHO KNEW, YOU KNEW 00:34:53 SAY WHAT, VOODOO "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:34:57 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 00:35:09 >> ALL RIGHT. WELL, THIS IS "WHAT'S UP WITH 00:35:11 THAT?" WE GOT THREE WONDERFUL GUESTS 00:35:14 HERE JOINING ME. WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT 00:35:17 PEOPLE. GOING TO TALK ABOUT PLACES. 00:35:20 WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT 00:35:27 FINGERS. WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT FACES. 00:35:29 WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT -- THINGS PERTAINING TO YOU 00:35:33 AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU, NOT YOU, BUT YOU 00:35:35 AND YOU AND YOU EVERYBODY SAY -- 00:35:37 OOH WEE "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:35:41 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" OOH WEE 00:35:45 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:35:52 I SAID WHAT UP WHAT IS UP 00:35:58 WHAT IS UP WITH THAT "WHAT'S UP WITH THAT" 00:36:07 ET LIKES REESE'S PIECES 00:36:13 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> ALL RIGHT, NOW, THAT WAS FUN. 00:36:17 LET'S MEET A GUEST. SHE IS HERE. 00:36:25 SHE'S A BIOLOGIST FROM A NETWORK CALLED PLANET GREEN. 00:36:29 SHE IS HERE TO GIVE US SOME STRAIGHT TALK ABOUT THE RAIN 00:36:32 FOREST. HER NAME IS LESLIE FOREE. 00:36:33 HELLO, BABY. >> HELLO. 00:36:37 >> NOW, YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT DEFORESTATION, IS THAT RIGHT? 00:36:38 >> YES. DID YOU KNOW WE ARE LOSING AN 00:36:39 ACRE AND A HALF OF THE RAIN FOREST EVERY SECOND? 00:36:41 IT'S ONE OF THE EARTH'S GREAT BIOLOGICAL TREASURES, I MEAN -- 00:36:45 BIOLOGICAL TREASURES [ LAUGHTER ] 00:36:48 >> IT WOULD BE TOTALLY CONSUMED IN FOUR YEARS. 00:36:51 TOTALLY CONSUMED YOU KNOW, SOME THINGS -- WE'RE 00:36:54 LOSING DOZENS OF ANIMAL AND INSECT SPECIES EVERY DAY. 00:36:56 ANIMAL AND INSECT SPECIES YEAH 00:37:01 IT'S A TRAGEDY, BABY AND I GOT TO SAY 00:37:03 OOH WEE "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:37:06 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" >> DO I JUST SIT HERE? 00:37:09 TELL IT, NOW TELL IT "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:37:12 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE ARE 00:37:17 GOING TO SLOW IT DOWN HERE FOR JUST A SECOND. 00:37:24 'CAUSE I'M GOING TO TURN TO MY MICROPHONE OVER TO MY GOOD 00:37:32 FRIEND, THE SEXICUTIONER. >> OH, YEAH. 00:37:42 I WANT TO TAKE YOU IN A SPACESHIP. 00:37:45 AND MOVE INTO A PERMANENT ORBIT AROUND URANUS. 00:37:51 I'M GOING TO SEND OUT SOME PROBES. 00:37:56 AND I'M GOING TO EXPLORE ALL YOUR CRATERS. 00:38:02 SO, GIRL, LOWER YOUR SHIELDS, BECAUSE I COME IN PEACE AND I 00:38:05 SAY -- I SAY HEY! HEY, HEY, HEY 00:38:12 HEY HEY OOH WEE 00:38:16 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:38:20 OOH WEE "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:38:24 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" >> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GOLD 00:38:29 MEDAL WINNING SKIER, MISS PICABO STREET. 00:38:31 GO PICABO, GO PICABO, GO PICABO, GO PICABO, GO PICABO. 00:38:37 GO PICABO, GO PICABO, GO PICABO, GO PICABO. 00:38:40 OOH WEE "WHAT UP WITH THAT" 00:38:44 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" I SAID WHAT UP 00:38:51 OH YEAH "I SAID WHAT UP" 00:38:54 THE SEX IS CRAZY -- I SAID "WHAT'S UP WITH THAT" 00:39:02 >> IT'S LIKE AN INVASION OF THE BOOTY SNATCHERS. 00:39:04 I SAID WHAT'S UP WITH THAT TELL ME WHAT'S UP WITH THAT 00:39:11 YOU THINK IT IS ALL OVER BUT NOT REALLY 00:39:13 I GOT ONE MORE STORY I WENT DOWNTOWN 00:39:15 TO A PARTY I SAID 00:39:17 CAN I GET IN THEY SAID $5 00:39:21 I SAID NEVER MIND [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 00:39:31 >> OH! WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE OUT OF TIME. 00:39:34 [ LAUGHTER ] I WANT TO THANK MY GUEST 00:39:39 LESLIE FOREE, AND OUR APOLOGIES TO OUR GUESTS WHO GOT BUMPED. 00:39:44 ACTOR JAMES FRANCO FROM "SPIDER LAND." 00:39:50 AND FROM THE BAND FLEETWOOD MAC, LINDSEY BUCKINGHAM. 00:39:57 LINDSEY, MAN, YOU BEEN LIKE 12 TIMES. 00:39:59 WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? OKAY, UNTIL NEXT TIME, I'M 00:40:03 DEONDRE COLE ASKING YOU -- HEY, HEY, HEY 00:40:04 HEY, HEY OOH WEE 00:40:07 "WHAT UP WITH THAT" WHAT UP WITH THAT 00:40:09 OOH WEE >>> FROM LOS ANGELES, IT IS BUD 00:40:38 LIGHT GOLDEN WHEAT'S EXCLUSIVE "SNL" VIEWING PARTY. 00:40:40 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. >>> ENJOY. 00:40:49 >> DO YOU KNOW THAT DIANE'S COUSIN -- 00:41:01 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 00:41:23 >>> HEY, "SNL" FANS, YOU CAN JOIN IN THE FUN TOO. 00:41:27 ENTER THE BUD LIGHT GOLDEN WHEAT "SNL" SWEEPSTAKES AT NBC.COM 00:41:33 EVEN YOU CAN WIN TICKETS AND HOTEL ACCOMMODATIONS TO NEW YORK 00:41:35 TO SEE "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." >>> SO, THANK YOU AGAIN FOR 00:42:34 COMING HERE AND GIVING ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO PITCH YOU SOME 00:42:38 IDEAS FOR YOUR NEW AD CAMPAIGN. >> WELL, AS I TOLD YOU, WE'RE 00:42:41 LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO MAKE COTTAGE CHEESE SEXY AGAIN. 00:42:44 [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] I HOPE YOU CAN. 00:42:47 >> WELL, I "CURD" IF YOU GAVE ME A CHANCE. 00:42:51 THAT WAS A COTTAGE CHEESE JOKE. >> I'M IN THE COTTAGE CHEESE 00:42:57 INDUSTRY. I'VE HEARD THEM ALL. 00:42:59 >> YEAH, I'M SORRY. CANDY? 00:43:00 >> NO. >> WELL, LET'S BEGIN. 00:43:03 HERE'S MY FIRST IDEA. NOW, WHAT IF -- 00:43:07 >> HELLO. HELLO. 00:43:11 LOOK AT ME. >> HI, YEAH. 00:43:16 I SEE. MR. BAKLEY, THIS IS MY NEW 00:43:22 SECRETARY, TRINA. >> HI. 00:43:25 OH, HI. >> TRINA, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT 00:43:26 MEETING. DO YOU MIND? 00:43:30 >> THOMAS, I WORK HERE NOW. >> YES, I KNOW. 00:43:36 WE'RE JUST IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. 00:43:39 >> THOMAS, THOMAS. LOOK AT THAT. 00:43:41 WHAT'S THAT? >> THAT'S A POSTER. 00:43:45 >> OH! THOMAS, IT IS EXCITING. 00:43:52 >> TRINA, PLEASE. >> OH, ALL RIGHT. 00:43:55 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 00:43:57 OH, ALL RIGHT. >> I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THAT. 00:44:08 SO ANYWAY, YOU WANT TO MAKE COTTAGE CHEESE SEXY. 00:44:11 LISTEN TO THIS. A WOMAN IN A BIKINI EATING A 00:44:15 PILE OF COTTAGE CHEESE. >> GO ON. 00:44:18 >> SHE TURNS TO THE CAMERA AND SHE WHISPERS SOMETHING ABOUT 00:44:22 CALCIUM. >> THOMAS, THOMAS, LOOK. 00:44:29 >> WHAT ABOUT IT? >> THOMAS THIS IS FOR THIS. 00:44:36 >> TRINA -- >> DID YOU SEE IT? 00:44:38 >> YES, YES, I DID. YOU PUT A CAP ON A PEN. 00:44:40 THAT'S GREAT. >> THANK YOU. 00:44:45 >> WHY DON'T YOU -- WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE IT TO ME? 00:44:48 WHY DON'T YOU GO MAKE YOURSELF A CUP OF COFFEE. 00:44:51 >> YOU TWO NEED A MINUTE? >> NO, NO, NO. 00:44:56 TRINA, I'LL LET YOU KNOW IF YOU NEED ANYTHING. 00:44:58 PLEASE, JUST SHUT THE DOOR. >> THOMAS, THOMAS, YOU'RE MY 00:45:00 BOSS. >> YES, I AM. 00:45:06 THE DOOR? >> THOMAS. 00:45:10 OH, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT! 00:45:16 >> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE INTERRUPTIONS. 00:45:18 THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. I HIRED TRINA, BECAUSE SHE'S A 00:45:23 FRIEND OF A NEIGHBOR AND HE ASKED ME TO DO HIM A FAVOR. 00:45:30 BECAUSE SHE'S BEEN HIT SEVERAL TIMES BY LIGHTNING. 00:45:32 >> I UNDERSTAND. NO NEED TO EXCHANGE. 00:45:34 LET'S HEAR ANOTHER COTTAGE CHEESE PITCH. 00:45:36 >> OKAY. OKAY, SO PICTURE THIS, 00:45:41 QUEEN LATIFAH, GIANT SPOON, COTTAGE CHEESE, LAMBORGHINI. 00:45:45 >> YOU'RE JUST SAYING WORDS NOW. >> THOMAS, THOMAS. 00:45:48 >> WHAT? >> THOMAS. 00:45:49 LOOK. IT'S A MOUSE. 00:45:54 >> THAT'S NOT A MOUSE. THAT'S A CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUT HOLE 00:45:58 FROM THE BREAK ROOM. >> OH, WELL, WHERE'S THE TAIL? 00:46:01 [ LAUGHTER ] >> IT DOESN'T HAVE THE TAIL. 00:46:05 >> OH, THOMAS. ALL MICE HAVE TAILS. 00:46:06 OH, THOMAS! >> TRINA, HERE IS AN IDEA, WHY 00:46:12 DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR BREAK NOW? >> OH, NO! 00:46:14 I THOUGHT IT WAS A MOUSE. THAT'S WHY IT DIDN'T EAT THE 00:46:18 CHEESE. OH. 00:46:21 I TRIED TO LURE WITH THE CHEESE! OH, CHEESE! 00:46:22 THOMAS! OH, NO, THOMAS! 00:46:26 >> IT IS OKAY, TRINA. I HAVE AN IDEA. 00:46:29 WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE THE REST OF THE DAY OFF? 00:46:31 WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS TOMORROW. >> OH, ALL RIGHT! 00:46:36 >> NOW? >> OH, OKAY. 00:46:42 THOMAS! [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] 00:46:49 >> OKAY, LAST PITCH. >> OKAY, I'M SORRY. 00:46:51 THOMAS, IS IT? I HAVE TO RUN, ALL RIGHT? 00:46:59 JUST SEND THE PROPOSALS TO MY OFFICE. 00:47:01 >> OF COURSE, OF COURSE. CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 00:47:03 PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT TRINA. 00:47:05 >> I FEEL LIKE I WILL. [ LAUGHTER ] 00:47:08 JUST BEING HONEST. >> THOMAS?! 00:47:12 THOMAS. OH, THOMAS. 00:47:18 LOOK, SO SAD. OH, IT IS A DEAD DOUGHNUT. 00:47:24 [ LAUGHTER ] >> TRINA, THAT IS A MOUSE. 00:47:28 >> HIS LITTLE DOUGHNUT EYES ARE CLOSED. 00:47:31 >> GO HOME, TRINA. >> OKAY. 00:47:36 OH, THOMAS. ALL RIGHT. 00:47:38 I'M GOING TO GO DIP HIM IN A CUP OF COFFEE. 00:47:41 THOMAS! >> OH, THIS IS FOR THIS! 00:48:27 I LOVE CLOTHES! SO MY GIRLFRIEND 00:48:28 SAYS, "SHOP TJ MAXX." "THEIR BUYERS DEAL 00:48:31 DIRECTLY WITH DESIGNERS... THE SAVINGS COME 00:48:33 DIRECTLY TO ME!" BEHOLD A FASHIONISTA... 00:48:35 WHO'S NOW A MAXXINISTA! TJ MAXX. 00:49:49 >>> ONCE AGAIN, SHAKIRA! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 00:49:58 FIRST FLOOR ROOM SIXTEEN 00:49:59 SMELLS LIKE DANGER EVEN BETTER 00:50:03 SET YOUR GOALS BLESS OUR SOULS 00:50:07 I'M IN TROUBLE BUT IT FEELS LIKE HEAVEN 00:50:11 YOU WERE LIKE ONE OF THOSE GUYS 00:50:12 THE KIND WITH A WANDERING EYE 00:50:14 BUT I SAID HEY WHAT THE HELL 00:50:17 ONCE IN MY LIFE I'LL TAKE A RIDE 00:50:18 ON THE WILD SIDE YOU WERE SO 00:50:19 FULL OF YOURSELF BUT DAMN WERE YOU CUTE 00:50:23 AS WELL YOU LIKED MY LEGS 00:50:24 I LIKED YOUR MOVES ANYONE COULD TELL 00:50:27 IT'S HARD TO DENY THAT DID IT AGAIN, LOVE 00:50:28 I GOT IT ALL WRONG BUT IT FELT SO RIGHT 00:50:30 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT AND ALL THE MISTAKES 00:50:34 THAT WENT ON FOR TOO LONG WISH THERE WAS A WAY 00:50:37 I COULD DELETE IT EH EH EH EH 00:50:44 AH AH AH AH EH EH EH EH 00:50:51 AH AH AH AH SECOND NIGHT IN A ROW 00:50:55 BACK IN TROUBLE I DON'T GET IT 00:50:59 GOTTA KEEP IT DOWN IT WILL ALL BE GONE 00:51:07 BUT WE IGNORE IT YES, I KNOW 00:51:08 IT'S GETTING BETTER HEY 00:51:09 WHEN IT COMES TO MEN IT'S KNOWN 00:51:11 THAT I AM THE CHOOSING ONE CAUSE I ALWAYS 00:51:12 TRIP AND FALL THE SAME OLD 00:51:14 AND REPEAT AND GO BACK HOW BLIND A GIRL CAN BE 00:51:16 TO MISS YOU HIDE YOUR RING THOUGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING 00:51:19 I'M SO NAIVE AND I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT 00:51:21 DID IT AGAIN, LOVE I GOT IT ALL WRONG 00:51:24 BUT IT FELT SO RIGHT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT 00:51:27 AND ALL THE MISTAKES THAT WENT ON FOR TOO LONG 00:51:31 WISH THERE WAS A WAY I COULD DELETE IT 00:51:36 EH EH EH EH AH AH AH AH 00:51:43 EH EH EH EH AH AH AH AH 00:51:47 IT MAY SEEM TO YOU THAT I AM IN A PLACE 00:51:51 WHERE I'M LOSING THE DIRECTION OF MY LIFE 00:51:54 BUT I'M SURE THAT THIS IS NOTHING BUT A PHASE 00:51:59 RIGHT BACK AT YA HIS EYES SO VILE 00:52:03 DID IT AGAIN, LOVE I GOT IT ALL WRONG 00:52:06 BUT IT FELT SO RIGHT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT 00:52:09 AND ALL THE MISTAKES THAT WENT ON FOR TOO LONG 00:52:13 WISH THERE WAS A WAY I COULD DELETE IT 00:52:17 DID IT AGAIN, LOVE I GOT IT ALL WRONG 00:52:24 EH EH EH EH AH AH AH AH 00:52:31 EH EH EH EH AH AH AH AH 00:52:38 EH EH EH EH AH AH AH AH 00:52:46 EH EH EH EH AH AH AH AH 00:52:56 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 00:55:20 >>> "BRAVEHEART," THE TIMELESS TALE OF WILLIAM WALLACE, 00:55:24 SCOTLAND'S GREATEST HERO. AND NOW, THIS CLASSIC TALE TOLD 00:55:28 AGAIN, BUT FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF WILLIAM WALLACE'S YOUNGER 00:55:32 BROTHER, DAVID. >> ALL RIGHT, GATHER AROUND. 00:55:44 OKAY, NOW I'VE JUST BEEN TALKING WITH THOSE ENGLISH BASTARDS AND 00:55:50 THEY SAY WE'RE OUTNUMBERED. THEY SAY THEY HAVE SUPERIOR 00:55:55 WEAPONS. THEY TOLD ME WE WOULD BE FOOLS 00:55:59 TO FIGHT THEM. SO HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GOING TO 00:56:02 DO. WE'RE GOING TO GET THE HELL OUT 00:56:05 OF HERE BEFORE WE GET KILLED. >> "DAVE," THE STORY OF 00:56:11 SCOTLAND'S BIGGEST COWARD, WHEN HISTORY NEEDED A HERO, IT 00:56:15 KNOCKED ON THE WRONG DOOR. >> SO, YOU'RE SAYING WE SHOULD 00:56:18 SURRENDER? >> I'M SAYING ON THE COUNT OF 00:56:21 THREE, WE SHOULD JUST RUN OFF IN EVERY DIRECTION. 00:56:24 THEY CAN'T CATCH ALL OF US, CAN THEY? 00:56:29 IF THEY DO CATCH YOU, I RECOMMEND PRETENDING YOU'RE 00:56:34 ENGLISH, ALL RIGHT? SO, LET'S PRACTICE. 00:56:37 WE ALL READY? "HELLO, GOVERNOR? 00:56:38 FANCY A CUP OF TEA?" ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU GUYS. 00:56:43 COME ON, LET'S HEAR YOU. >> YEARS FROM NOW WHEN WE LIE 00:56:45 DOWN IN OUR BEDS, WON'T WE WISH WE HAD FOUGHT THIS DAY? 00:56:47 >> NO, NO. NO, YOU'LL THINK, "WHAT A COMFY 00:56:48 BED. I'M GLAD I DIDN'T DIE COVERED IN 00:56:51 MUD. THANKS DAVE HEART." 00:56:54 THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL SAY. >> HOW CAN WE SURRENDER? 00:56:58 THE ENGLISH LORDS DEFLOWERED OUR VIRGIN BRIDES ON THEIR WEDDING 00:57:00 NIGHTS. >> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, NONE OF 00:57:03 YOUR WIVES WERE VIRGINS ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHTS, AL 00:57:04 RIGHT? [ LAUGHTER ] 00:57:06 I MEAN, THERE WERE SIX GIRLS IN OUR VILLAGE AND, LIKE, 100 GUYS. 00:57:09 SO NO ONE IS A VIRGIN. NOW BACK TO BUSINESS. 00:57:14 WE NEED TO RUN AWAY AND WE NEED TO RUN AWAY FAST. 00:57:16 >> COWARD! >> COWARD? 00:57:19 HUH! COWARD? 00:57:22 I RESENT THAT. OH, MY GOD, WHAT'S THAT? 00:57:25 OH, FALSE ALARM. IT IS JUST A GOAT. 00:57:29 I THOUGHT IT WAS A DRAGON. >> SOME MEN FEAR DEATH. 00:57:34 SOME, DISHONOR. DAVE HEART WAS AFRAID OF THE 00:57:38 DARK AND ALSO LOUD NOISES. A TALE OF COWARDICE IN A TIME OF 00:57:41 COURAGE, A MAN WHO DESPITE A SHAMEFUL ATTEMPT TO FLEE, WAS 00:57:47 STILL CAPTURED AND JAILED. >> THEY ARE GOING TO TORTURE 00:57:49 YOU. >> OH, DON'T SAY TORTURE. 00:57:59 I CAN'T PISS MYSELF ANY MORE THAN I ALREADY HAVE, OKAY? 00:58:02 I MEAN, I'M ALL PISSED OUT. >> I HAVE BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING. 00:58:04 IT WILL NUMB YOUR PAIN. >> OH, YEAH? 00:58:05 OH, YEAH I WANT THAT. GIVE ME A LOT. 00:58:10 I HAVE A LOW TOLERANCE FOR PAIN. >> YOU MUST BE STRONG. 00:58:13 I CAN DO THAT. B 00:58:17 BETTER IDEA. WE SWITCH CLOTHES AND YOU GET 00:58:26 EXECUTED AND I'LL PRETEND TO BE A BEAUTIFUL FRENCH PRINCESS. 00:58:28 HOW IS THAT? >> NO, THAT WILL NOT WORK. 00:58:29 >> OF COURSE IT WILL WORK. I MEAN, WELL, OF COURSE IT WILL 00:58:31 WORK. >> YOU WOULD HAVE TO LIVE WITH 00:58:34 MY HUSBAND AS A WOMAN. >> I WOULD RATHER LIVE AS A 00:58:36 WOMAN THAN DIE AS A MAN. >> DAVE, WORSE THAN 00:58:46 "BRAVEHEART," BUY IT TODAY. AIRBORNE GUY: I FIRST 00:59:48 STARTED TAKING AIRBORNE TO HELP SUPPORT MY IMMUNE 00:59:49 SYSTEM WHEN I TRAVELLED. BUT THEN I REALIZED... 00:59:52 THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER TIMES 00:59:53 MY IMMUNE SYSTEM COULD USE HELP. 00:59:55 SFX: [WAAAAAAHHH!] WIFE: GUESS WHO'S TEETHING? 00:59:58 AIRBORNE GUY: LIKE WHENEVER LIFE GETS A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL... 00:59:59 DAUGHTER: DADDY, MEET SNAKE. AIRBORNE GUY: OR ANY TIME 01:00:02 LIFE CATCHES UP TO YOU. ANNCR: AIRBORNE HELPS 01:00:05 SUPPORT YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM WITH A SPECIAL BLEND OF... 01:00:07 ZINC, GINGER, ECHINACEA, AND 13 OTHER VITAMINS, 01:00:09 MINERALS AND HERBS... PLUS A BLAST OF VITAMIN C! 01:00:12 WIFE: 'NIGHT DEAR. SFX: [KISSING SOUND] 01:00:14 AIRBORNE GUY: TRY AIRBORNE. IT'S GOOD FOR YOU 01:00:15 WHEN LIFE IS NOT. >>> THANKS TO SHAKIRA, TO DWAYNE 01:00:37 JOHNSON, AND FOR THIS AMAZING CAST, WRITERS, CREW. 01:00:47 JAMES FRANCO.