Ronald Reagan, President of Screen Actors Guild, announces contract agreement settling strike against Hollywood studios.
As President of the Screen Actors Guild (SAG), Ronald Reagan had negotiated a contract ending the SAG strike against Hollywood Studios. He now announces that all parties considered the contract fair and equitable. Members of the press,Hollywood executives, and actors are present, including Charlton Heston, who was on the SAG negotiating committee with Reagan. Location: California United States USA. Date: 1960.
FORMER PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN CLIP REEL #1
FORMER PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN CLIP REEL #1 NO TAPE NUMBER / 236 GE Home Theatre - 1957 10:00:00 Commercial shot in Reagan Home UCLA Film and TV Archive NYT17093F / 213 REAGAN COLLEGE STILLS - 1929 10:03:12 Reagan as college football player (has moves) 10:05:03 Reagan in group photo wearing glasses 10:07:43 Reagan portrait 10:08:04 Reagan in group photo - no glasses 10:11:00 Reagan in football uniform 10:11:54 "Trustees accept resignation" headline 10:12:29 "Top movie names on GE video" headline RDTB0302A / 128 REAGAN STILLS FROM KNUTE ROCK - 1940 10:18:07 Pat O'Brien and Reagan 10:19:32 Reagan sick in bed 10:22:07 Reagan holding baseball NO TAPE # / 328 DATE UNKNOWN - UCLA FILM & TV ARCHIVE REAGAN BEFORE HUAC (10-23-47) 10:23:44 B-roll of Committee members 10:24:51 (On Profile) Reagan swearing in 10:25:18 (On Profile) Reagan testifying "There has been a small group of in SAG opposed to activities." NO TAPE # / 281 REAGAN SWORN IN AS GOVERNOR - 1/2/67 10:29:15 Walk in 10:29:31 Nancy/choir/speech 10:33:34 (On Profile) Reagan taking oath 10:36:08 Crowd applauding 10:36:28 Reagan speech 10:38:24 Nancy looking adoring 10:40:16 Reagan and Nancy handshaking 10:41:19 TS Reagan and Nancy 10:41:49 Inaugural Parade*** 10:41:59 "Welcome Gov. Reagan" sign 10:43:43 Reagan speech outside 10:46:37 21 gun salute NYT7257K / 239 RR CLIPREEL 10:46:48 Reagan and Nancy out of limo - says not running for President 6/4/68 10:47:53 Reagan interviewed by Donaldson at 1968 RNC 10:49:45 Reagan speech about communism, 1968 10:51:30 Reagan speech criticizes "Great Society" in Chicago 11/27/67 10:53:49 Newspaper ad Reagan for President, 1976 10:56:15 Reagan speech, 1968 - makes jokes about hippies good video 10:57:30 Criticizes Bobby Kennedy 11:01:44 Reagan doing radio commentary - year unknown NIROOO72607 / 87 RR CLIPREEL 11:02:19 Reagan as a teenager / house in Illinois 11:03:41 Tampico Illinois Calender 11:04:48 Reagan school photo as a child DCTL1824Q / NO TAPE NUMBER 11:07:01 Reagan movie bloopers 11:11:28 Boraxo commercial in Reagan home 11:12:29 Boraxo commercial on the set of Death Valley with Patty 11:13:37 Boraxo commercial "I don't know how you girls do it." 11:14:40 Boraxo commercial B&W 11:15:30 Guts and Gusto of the West promo with Reagan 11:19:50 Reagan at foreign press dinner - date unkown Jayne Mansfied and Mickey Rooney 11:24:52 (On Profile) Clips from Jap Zero, 1943
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RONALD REAGAN
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NEWSREEL 5
SPECIAL REPORT: PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS / DEMOCRATIC RESPONSE
SENATE MAJORITY LEADER ROBERT BRYD ( D-WVA ) AND SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE JIM WRIGHT (D-TEX) DELIVER THE DEMOCRATIC RESPONSE TO PRESIDENT REAGAN'S STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS. 00:00:00 Oppression years. And came to Washington and fared Truman was leaving office. I've seen America in distress. And I've seen us at our best innovative. Forceful. Generous. I've learned a thing or two about the greatness of America. And what holds us together. I've learned how quickly adversity strikes. The stock market crash of twenty nine. Pearl Harbor. The death of John Kennedy. And how our country struggle back. Each time to renewed vision and strength. I've also learned that predictions of the future more often bear the glitter of hope. Than the tarnish of reality. Tonight. House Speaker Jim Wright. And I will take a look at the State of the Union. From a different perspective. We will explore what government has done. And what it must do in the future. Our assessment of America would be tougher than the president. But it's anchored to the same fate. And our people and the same hopes for the future. I'm a Democrat whose politics reshaped in an era of hard times from the small world of company stores and coal mines. Back then my foster father and two dollars a day. As a mine are life was a spare. As it was close knit. As a small community we hung together and endured. We had our disappointment. And our sorrow. Show Less Text 00:01:33 There is no such thing as unemployment compensation or Social Security are horizons were limited. And our choices were few. I graduated as valedictorian of my high school and was lucky to get a job pumping gas. At fifty dollars a month. But out of that grim time came a president and a government that lifted the spirit of America. Never before or since. Has this nation been galvanized by such force. We came out of World War two with a new confidence and a new promise for the first time my people working people. Had some security against the poverty. We had better working conditions in the mine the elderly didn't have to turn to their children to take them in looking back. We did the obvious. We rose to the crises of our time. Yet for means the images remain and with them the truth that government is best measured by how well it responds to the people's needs. Since then I have watched this nation and its government secrets ways through a changing maze of economic and political circumstances from Medicare to the Great Society. The anguish that was the it not the average and that was Watergate. And the promise. That was Camp David. And then it dawned the Reagan years. And the profound experiment. If the Roosevelt and Truman president says were born of necessity. The presidency of Ronald Reagan was born of idiology. And the Technicolor view of America and our people. It opened with the promise to get government off our backs. Get offered the mystical formula of supply side economics which claimed that a huge buildup in military spending and enormous tax cuts for corporations and the rich would lead to a balanced budget in three years. It was an administration that sought to make us feel good with images of Morning in America. 00:03:50 That was a time when the president and his presidency. Became separated in our minds. As a man. Ronald Reagan has withstood the school pain with great years carried the nation's grief. At times of last year's always been a deed. With his THE LEAD. A man who can touch. The nation's human. And make us feel better than we sometimes. Good. As president his greatest victory has come at the negotiating table. The arms reduction treaty. The Limited is a milestone on the road to the safer work. But is political victories have not always been nice and all triumph. The dark sad. Of the Reagan years has only begun to loom. Instead of a balanced budget. He has there's added over a doubling of the nice no debt. In seven years. Our record budget and trade deficits. One just an abstract number of now force the government to default on its most fundamental promise like education and health. We have surrendered. Economic leadership in markets around the world. Our nation has been sharply divided on the question the central America. The Secret. Arms for hostages deal. Stand in direct contradiction to our given word not to deal with terror. The cases of cronyism and the Busa is the power for personal gain. Continue to mount. In Washington's courtroom we've come to the end of an error. The feel good slogans have gone flat with time. We've learned that bravado. As not leadership that idiotic G. is no substitute for common sense. The time has finally come for us all to face the hard truth is that once gave us our self-reliance. And our world leadership. Hard work on the job and in the classroom. Pay As You Go. No free lunches. No running away from the Bills do. Helping those in need. But not those of the Greek. 00:06:11 It was right here on the Senate floor. That Congress. Work with Franklin Roosevelt. To help them in the Depression and to win a war. It was right here. That Harry Truman's request for the Marshall Plan was answered. We're John Kennedy's space program. Became a reality. And Lyndon Johnson led the campaign for equal rights. It is right here the government has had some of its finest moment. This is where we've faced crisis. Head on where the institution rose with the nation together. We've done it before and now we've got to do it again. We've got to educate our children. Better than we do. We must have a system that not only launches the most gifted but lifts the horizon for the least well off more than the number of missiles and tank. The number of well educated children. Is a true or a measure of our national strength. And our potential. Every moment we wait. Is a fraction of our future law. We've got to pay as we go. We can't go on borrowing. Especially from foreigners. They're after short term gain for themselves. Not a long term investment in America. We've got to depend on ourselves to work out a sensible balance between spending and income. The president has to work with Congress. Not wait until three weeks after the fiscal year deadline. And a stock market crash to finalist sit down with us. The recent budget summit. Should have been called Seven years ago. We've long understood that the line item veto is a balanced budget amendment. Are no substitute for a national will to palm off our debts to the next generation must not be an option for our own. Show Less Text 00:08:13 We've got to make America free from fear the fear of a lifetime of savings wiped out by a catastrophic illness or the dread of foreclosure on a mortgage or the shame of having an able to check out cut off from college. Too many of our people are still slipping through the safety net. Unknown and unprotected. We must reduce the incidence of killer diseases like AIDS and cancer. By multiplying the nation's research. And we ought to demand safe passage on our streets. And in the air. And we've got to sharpen our competitive AIDS. It's a shock. The be told that America is no longer number one. Around the world. That our products are increasingly out so that our manufacturing jobs are shipped overseas. 00:09:05 Regaining our leadership rank among nations. Resents our people with an enormous challenge. And government has a big role. Not to subsidize industry. But to give American producers and exporters. The best advantage we can to improve our highways and airports. To encourage productive invest. The face of my hometown and West Virginia has changed a great deal since the Depression. The little house where I was raised is gone. A lot of the minds of closed down. But we still hold to the old that you. Born to this country. Long ago. And we still remember well when government acted to give us the leadership and the hope and the tools to redo. We still marvel at what we've achieved when government has been both America's sale and thirty years. When we have driven ahead. But stayed clear of the show. When we've been guided by common sense and simple trust in this. We've done it before and now is going to do it again by Speaker Jim Wright will explain. We've already made a strong start. We have indeed made a very strong stuff that's heady about that. But first I want to say congratulations to President Reagan. For having successfully negotiated the I.N.F. treaty with the Soviet Union. We paid him our support in that endeavor. Six months ago. President Reagan and I joined together and calling for a new peace plan for a Central America a few days later the five cents an American president to grade to move that peace process farm where they are still actively pursuing. 00:10:58 Mr President. As long as there is any measurable progress toward solving that conflict at the table. I think you and I should give peace a chance. And I shall security. And the pursuit of peace. 00:11:12 I really ought not to be any Democrats or Republicans. Just America. Congress has supported those go. We provided some three hundred billion dollars last year for our military defenses. But we know that no democracy can be a first rate. Military Power. If it becomes a second rate economic power. As important as our commitments abroad may be our first obligation is to the American people and to their future. Today is the day America looks at this step in the mirror and ask how we're doing. So consider the state of our union with me if you will. As we reflect upon five major steps. The one hundred Congress is taking to build America's future. House bill. Number one our first legislative act with a clean water bill. Protect the one precious resource. Upon which all human life begins because nearly one out of every five public water systems are now companion aided by toxic waste. We simply cannot delay to clean up any longer. Yet President Reagan. Vetoed this bill. He insisted that we cut backs sharply on America's commitment to clean water in a safe environment. Fortunately Congress overrode that the House bill. Number two was the highway bill. To improve and upgrade the network of highways and bridges on which Americans depend. You know the thirty percent of the bridges in this country are on site. Thousands of them built more than one hundred years ago. President Reagan veto this highway bill also we mistakenly called it a budget buster. Well that was absolutely and correct. This bill then they had a penny to the national debt. We pay for these highways with our gasoline taxes. They make up the highway trust fund where billions of dollars lie. And so we overload that veto as well. House bill. Three is the trade and jobs bill. Mr Reagan said a few days ago in Cleveland. Not to worry about the trade deficit that it was a sign of strength. 00:13:25 Well just ask the local people who work at the Belton industries or at the General Motors plant medically. Both of which is quote those people just lost their jobs to the trade deficit. As millions of other Americans have done in spite of what President say. The trade gap has risen sharply. Every year for the past seven years. And it was higher last year than ever in our history. This has made America the number one death of a country and the word. That is a sign of strength. I have bailed out as two things first. It provides incentives for other countries to abandon unfair practices which discriminate against American good things like deliberate red tape which keeps American import applications just permanently under study never acted. Are like unloading a ship load of two hundred American automobiles. Just one car that we simply require in this bill that other nations feed our American products on them are just exactly as we treat their goods on our minds it's no better no worse. This bill also strengthens our ability to compete. To unscrew it would improve our research and development. Modernize America's and aging industrial plants. Equip America's workforce. With the skills and knowledge that we need. So that unemployed industrial workers aren't forced to settle for lower paying jobs. So we can't build a vibrant economy is by delivering pizzas. One another while this administration has crossed its thinkers and hope for the best the Congress is acting. This send the bill to the present chart and we are in is to hope that he signs. House bill. Number four is the housing bill. 00:15:24 And the last few years the hope of home ownership has become a fading. Illusion for too many American families. President Reagan asked that we abolish the Federal Housing Administration that we increased the price of houses by charging hidden user fees. But we say the F.H.A. outlawed user fees and protected homeownership. Not just for that a lot of you. But for Americans. Of average and modest means as well. We also passed a parm credit bill to stop the epidemic of family farm foreclosures and for the growing number of men women and children who have fallen victim to that. Sad new phenomenon of homelessness. Our bill reflects our belief that there's no excuse for any American to be abandoned by his country just to die of starvation our exposure to the weather. I've always believed in a an eleventh commandment thou shalt pass on to your children a better world than you receive from your parents. And this to them America's children. That the great thrust of our legislative program is dedicated House bill number five is an education there five years ago the administration's own commission. Produced a chilling report on the sagging quality of American education. The report was called a nation that risks of the president ignored that warning. In every year of his presidency. He is called for major cuts in education. Last year a call for twenty eight percent. Including believe it or not cutting the appropriated funds for drug addicts and he proposed abolishing vocational education. 00:17:11 Now this it goes beyond just too hard in an age when our children will have to cope with. Semiconductors and supercollider from international competition. America just will not survive. Unless the next generation is better educated than we were education must be our first priority. And so Abdel increases our commitment to quality education for the first time in seven years. And every day is this Astra's to equip our young with inadequate learning. It is immoral to burden them with our financial that the policies of this administration. Have added an award to the national debt in seven short years. And all of its predecessors added in almost two hundred years combined. A great nation like ours. Should be forced to borrow from foreigners to pay our bills are to lose twenty four cents on every one of your tax dollars. Just the interest on the national debt. And the year ahead. Your National Congress will complete. This agenda that we began last year for a stronger and more humane. More Secure America. And if the president will help. We can do it all on a pay as we go. Basis and not just keep adding to the day. Mr President we all have to work on this. The ancient scribe wrote. Not going to finish the task. But neither are there free to exempt themselves from and. We cannot solve all of our problems by January nine hundred eighty nine. That doesn't mean we don't have to try to enter the bird. The speaker is right. We must work together. These are the times when we must take our measure and gather our strength. These are the times when we must reach for the steel. That has been ours for generations. And sharpen it. There are the predictions that we flattened out. And that we've lost our fire. But we've been tested before. And each time. We've come back stronger. Over the last year the course of America has begun to change. Right on this very close. And each of you in your own ways from your own neighborhood has adjusted our direct by a fraction. You've become a consensus for open and caring and balance. You have asked government the bill. 00:19:54 And not to tear down. And we have begun. The laws that we have passed in this chamber and not just promises there not just the rhetoric of what might be there the building blocks for what is to be. They are the working parts of our society that have been hammered out by compromise and consensus. And each of you has left a mark on the books. The gather we have committed government to help rebuild America. Together we have begun the job. Together. We will finish it. Goodnight. May God bless you and may he continue to bless our great country.
ELIZABETH WARREN MANCHESTER NH ST ANSLEM COLLEGE POLITICS ABC 2020
TVU 20 ELIZABETH WARRREN MANCHESTER NH ST ANSLEM COLLEGE POLITICS ABC UNI 121219 2020 GOFFSTOWN, N.H. - In a fiery speech today at the New Hampshire Institute of Politics, Sen. Elizabeth Warren criticized a handful of her opponents and pitched herself as the sole Democrat who is not afraid to take on the problems voters face. Asked after the speech if that was her intent - to effectively say that she can fix the system and everyone else is either not willing to or not paying for all of it - she was clear: "pretty much," Warren told reporters in a gaggle. "Pretty much. I mean look we know how bad the problems are right now, no one is proposing the kinds of solutions that address those problems. We have a serious problem in America with corruption, with a Washington that keeps working better and better and better for those at the top and not much for anyone else..But Americans know this all across the country and it means in a democratic primary, that's a problem we should be wrestling with, it's one we should be attacking head on - and it's just not happening." 120839 A few quick highlights of news-of-day bites from the gaggle and then more from the speech: Asked if she's concerned she might miss the January debate despite the DNC's promises to accommodate senators who might be on the Hill for impeachment, Warren said she hopes "this is not a bridge that we will have to cross" 121347 but maintained "I will be there, that is my first responsibility." 121325 "Look, I took an oath of office to uphold the constitution of the United States of America and if we are in debate in proceedings over impeachment, I will be there. That is my first responsibility," she said. 121325 And because Warren is the only woman at the top of the field these days, on the heels of her own comments from a Monday night event in Vegas that men always tell her to "sit down and be quiet," Warren was asked if she was "sensing that at all" in this cycle. "Yes," she said, laughing. Asked to elaborate, she said "No. Look, you gotta be in the fight and that's what I'm doing." 121242 SPEECH: Though the wonky speech was chock-full of wealth disparity statistics and Warren's dozens of plans to address economic issues facing families, most notable were the dozens of critiques she launched at her fellow Democratic candidates (and Trump) -- part of a growing trend for Warren, who largely refused to "bash" other Democrats until a few weeks ago. + ATTACKS ON OTHER CANDIDATES (THESE MAINLY WERE AIMED AT BIDEN/BUTTIGIEG) Warren seemed to attack Biden for his comments that Republicans will have an "epiphany" after Trump leaves office and work across the aisle -- and for his comments that some Democrats think he's "naive" because he wants to work with them. She also took swings at anyone who has used "Republican critiques" to attack "progressive policies," an argument she has used to push back on Biden and Buttigieg over their Medicare for All criticism. "Now unlike some Dem -- some candidates for the Democratic nomination, I am not counting on Republican politicians having an epiphany and suddenly supporting the kinds of tax increases on the rich or big business accountability that they've opposed under Democratic presidents for a generation. Unlike some candidates for the Democratic nomination, I'm not betting my agenda on the naive hope that if Democrats adopt Republican critiques of progressive policies or make vague calls for unity that somehow the wealthy and well connected will stand down."110751 // She also went after candidates who are holding high-dollar fundraisers - specifically Buttigieg, who she called on to release his bundlers/finance committee (which he has said he will do), and Biden, who commented earlier this year to donors that he didn't think wealthy people should be demonized or punished and "nothing would fundamentally change" if he was elected. "Most candidates haven't disclosed the names of their bundlers or finance committees. They are spending time in fundraisers with high-dollar donors, selling access to their time for money. Some of them have spent months blocking reporters from entering those fancy, closed-door affairs."115357 "We know that one Democratic candidate walked into a room of wealthy donors this year to promise that "nothing would fundamentally change" if he's elected President."115357 Specifically attacking Buttigieg, she talked about the name the Buttigieg campaign gave early on to some of its top bundlers: the "national investors circle." "We know that another calls the people who raise a quarter of a million dollars for him his "National Investors Circle," and he offers them regular phone calls and special access. When a candidate brags about how beholden he feels to a group of wealthy investors, our democracy is in serious trouble." 115428 // By contrast, she said this about her own campaign (she is somewhere around 90,000 selfies, according to the campaign): "Look, I don't ask for a thousand dollar contribution in exchange for a picture. I'm closing in on 100,000 selfies for a grand total of zero dollars. Yeah." 115528 + ELECTABILITY/TRUMP Warren argued that talk of Trump's plans to tackle student debt (as reported by WaPo <https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonpost.com%2Flocal%2Feducation%2Feyeing-populist-challenge-from-the-left-trump-seeks-plan-to-tackle-student-debt%2F2019%2F12%2F05%2Fbbb002f8-16aa-11ea-a659-7d69641c6ff7_story.html&data=02%7C01%7CMegan.X.Farrell.-ND%40abc.com%7Cbaf90e749f3944372d5608d77f3a6e6c%7C56b731a8a2ac4c32bf6b616810e913c6%7C1%7C0%7C637117761311859764&sdata=i3sRwjgPjlHDCmkO2uDjrhE3HJpj9kJC6dtwiItyJpg%3D&reserved=0>) and his recent comments <https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fthehill.com%2Fhomenews%2Fadministration%2F473543-trump-calls-warren-pocahontas-knocks-wealth-tax&data=02%7C01%7CMegan.X.Farrell.-ND%40abc.com%7Cbaf90e749f3944372d5608d77f3a6e6c%7C56b731a8a2ac4c32bf6b616810e913c6%7C1%7C0%7C637117761311859764&sdata=FZaa6smQ5%2B%2FRHrRkP4VPI350KIAeun5d6hJVYrQWDrY%3D&reserved=0>about her wealth tax show that he thinks she's a threat. She also pushed back against the argument that her plans are too far left and compromise her ability to beat Trump. "And while there are candidates in this primary who are trying mightily to convince Democratic primary voters that this kind of popular agenda will somehow make it harder to beat Donald Trump, do you know who disagrees with that conclusion? Donald Trump." 115828 "Just consider two examples from recent days. First, some candidates have suggested that my broad student loan debt cancellation plan, which is popular and would be a huge boon to our economy, will somehow "alienate" people. Meanwhile, back in the real world, Trump is reportedly so worried about the appeal of this proposal that he's sent his aides scrambling to come up with some knock-off version that he can claim. And it's the same with the wealth tax. Trump launched an outlandish false attack on it last week in an anti-Semitic rant, because he knows as well as I do that asking billionaires to pitch in a few pennies is reasonable and popular. And let's be honest, he's just one more rich guy who will go to extraordinary lengths not to have to pay more taxes." 115901 + "I AM THE BIGGEST THREAT" Warren led off her speech by addressing the scrutiny she's received in the press, and the people who she says fear her: Washington insiders and Wall Street executives. "I'm serious about delivering real change, and a lot of powerful people know it. Just take a look at who the Washington insiders and the Wall Street executives and the billionaires spend their time and money attacking on TV and in the press. They believe that I am the biggest threat to a corrupt system that has enriched them at the expense of everyone else. And they're right." 110715 + RESPONSE TO ANYONE WHO CALLS HER A SOCIALIST/RADICAL Warren argued Democrats who "defend a corrupt system" are not "capitalists" but "cheaters." "These are the kinds of changes save people money. They spur economic growth and innovation. But every time I talk about them, there's somebody who wants to call me a socialist or a radical, just like they did every time FDR or Barack Obama or any other Democrat fought for real change. Well, here's a newsflash: if you defend a corrupt system, where corporate lobbyists write the rules to squeeze out competition and hurt economic growth and undercut workers, you're not a capitalist. You're just a cheater. "112927 + BLOOMBERG Warren didn't call Bloomberg out in the traditional way she has in the past few weeks, attacking him for buying the election, but instead used him as an example for the wealth tax and (somewhat surprisingly) gave him credit for building a "successful business." "So look, I am no fan of Michael Bloomberg that has been made clear through the years. But here's the deal. Michael Bloomberg built a successful business. And I am, i want to honor that. I think that's great. You've built a successful business here in America. Good for you. . But what we have to be able to do is to say when you make it big, when you make it really big, when you make top one tenth of one---big in America, pitch in two cents. It's about making sure that the wealthy don't pick up the ladder after them. 114537 + HOW SHE'LL ENACT HER PLANS Toward the end of her speech, after mapping out dozens of her plans, Warren talked about the "movement" her campaign is building and how that would propel her ability to get things done once elected. "Now, will I have a magic wand to enact my full agenda? Of course not. No President does. I know I will have to compromise, but that's not where we start. We start with the work of mobilizing a movement, building real leverage, and fighting hard. And I know we won't win every fight. But I can promise that we will hit the ground running using every tool available to build a government that works not just for those at the top but a government that works for everyone." 115113 TVU 20 ELIZABETH WARREN MANCHESTER NH ST ANSLEM COLLEGE POLITICS ABC UNI 121219 2020 Gaggle Q: this was a pretty explicit speech effectively yuo can fix the system and everyone is either not willing to or not paying for all of it, is that right? 120839 WARREN: pretty much, I mean look we know how bad the problems are right now, no one is proposing the kinds of solutions that address those problems. We have a serious problem in America with corruption, with a washington that keeps working better and better and better for those at the top and not much for anyone else. And today, i talked about all the economic data that showed that. 120905 But Americans know this. All across the country and it means in democratic primary, that's a problem we should be wrestling with, it's one we should be attacking head on and it's just not happening. Q: (?) rest of the field the way they've gone about their policy? 120921 WARREN: well, it's that this is the problem we need to tackle. So, I laid it all out in one place together but this is what I've been working on for an entire year and shoot, anyone who's been paying attention in Washington for years now, knows that this is a problem. A problem when the republicans pass a trillion and a half dollar tax cut and all the gains go at the top. A problem when we see the stock market continue to rise, but the gains go to those at the top. A problem, when American families barely get a pay increase and yet, all of their core expenses- housing, healthcare, childcare, sending a kid off to school are just going through the roof. 121006 Americans need a government on their side. That's why I'm running for president, and that's why I'm giving speeches like this. Q>> Should congressional and senate candidates be held to the same standard for fundraising? WARR>> So, we're in a democratic primary for president. And in a democratic primary, we're just running against other democrats. This is a moment when we should be building a grassroots, not blocking the grassroots. 121031 This is a moment when we should be opening ourselves to voters, not doing closed door fundraisers and special calls to people who give lots of monies. This is our chance to build that movement because that's gonna be our comparative advantage come November 2020 and it's gonna be how we'll make change come January 2021. Q>> --(inaudible) --- top tier of the Democratic field. Why do you believe that notable? 121058 WARR>> I'm sorry what? Q>> you're the lone female in the top tier for the field, Why do you believe that is notable? WARR>> Look I watched last week when Kamala Harris announced that she was being forced out of this race by money at the same time that two billionaires are buying their way into this primary. One on the very same day that Kamla announced that she was dropping out, bought his way on to the debate stage. 121129 And the other continues to drop tens of millions of dollars in advertising, saying he's going to entirely skip campaigning. You know, we have a broken political system when it's all about either you've got to be a billionaire or you got to suck up to billionaires in order to make it forward. So, I'm gonna do what I can to continue to lift up the issues that Kamala raised. She was an important voice in this debate. I'm also lifting up the issues that Kirsten Gillibrand raised. And co-sponsoring with them on work in the Senate. But also, talking about them in the campaign. The importance of paid family leave. 121212 The importance of preclude, of laws in states that have tried to restrict women's access to full range of health care services. Those are issues that are brought to the table and I think it's really important that we continue to talk about them. Q: three men in the race that are in the top tier and I remember Monday you talked about how men always tell you to sit down? WARREN:: mmhmm Q: are you sensing that at all this time around? WARR: yes. [laughs] Q: can you elaborate on that? 121242 WARR: no. look, you gotta be in the fight and that's what I'm doing. I get out there every single day and I talk to as many voters as I can. It's why I've done 179 town halls, it's why I've been to 28 states and PR. It's why we're closing in on 100,000 selfies. I'm out there trying to reach out directly to voters. Because I believe that's how we're going to repair our democracy, and that's how we're going to create opportunities not just for a handful, not just for the same old guys, how we are going to create opportunities for everyone. Q: Missing a debate for a senate trial, I know the DNC says they will accommodate with the debates but is that a concern? 121325 WARR: Look, I took an oath of office to uphold the constitution of the United States of America nad if we are in debate in proceedings over impeachment, I will be there. That is my first responsibility. Q: follow up - you would be the only female voice on that stage if you miss the debate for the trial that's gone. 121347 WARR: look, I hope this is not a bridge that we will have to cross but it is absolutely crucial that we go forward as soberly nad non politically on this impeachment process as possible. Q: what od you make on the Pennsylvania U report on your wealth tax? They say yours are way too high. 121408 WARR: they didn't actually analyze my wealth tax. They changed provisions and then analyzed something else. You know before I ever rolled the wealth tax out, I had independent economists look at it, and we got evaluation from economists, from tax experts about how much wealth it would produce. And I'm very confident about our numbers on this, but I understand, there are people who want to throw out a lot of dust around this because they don't really have a comeback to that central question. 121445 And that is, why aren't we asking the folks at the very top to pitch in a couple of cents so that we could actually invest in opportunity in everyone else. It's a very popular idea among Democrats, Independents, and Republicans. And that's leaving the billionaires scrambling to find some other argument for why this shouldn't be done. Q>> For the first few months, you didn't criticize anyone, what's changed? 121518 WARR>> Look, I --- FEED FREEZES 121528 .. to take that corruption head on. We've got to be willing to draw the contrast between the most corrupt administration in modern history. And a democratic candidate who sees it, who calls it out, who has a serious plan to break up the influence of money in Washington and to actually get some laws passed that aren't just there to help the wealthy and the well connected. But are there to help everyone. ### SPEECH 110426 Hello St. Anslem College, it is good to be here. And it is good to be back in New Hampshire. Our country reached a crossroads. And in 2020, voters in New Hampshire's first in the nation primary will help determine where we go from here. So, thank you all for inviting your time to be here this morning, investing your time to get this right. It really matters. 110455 I am very happy to be here at a university that is giving the world a front row seat in our democratic process. You know, nearly 40 years ago, Ronald Reagan declared that the problem with the economy was big government. He claimed that government hurt economic growth and limited freedom. And he was determined to weaken the government's role in markets. 110522 But things didn't work out as he promised. As government pulled back, the rich and powerful stepped in. A small group of wealthy elites and giant corporations gained more control over both our economy and over our democracy. Meanwhile, economic growth slowed, and America's middle class got hollowed out. Reagan had it wrong. Our problem isn't big government. Our problem is a government that has been captured by the rich and the powerful. 110557 Government could help grow the economy, could create opportunities, could support small businesses and entrepreneurship. But instead, we have a government that works only for those at the top. Reagan liked to talk about freedom. But real freedom isn't living under the thumb of a handful of billionaires and giant corporations. Real freedom isn't living deep in debt. One health scare or broken transmission away from disaster. 110632 Real freedom isn't watching while more and more opportunities get snatched up by the rich and powerful. Real freedom comes when a strong government enforces fair rules and when smart investments give every American the opportunity to prosper. The key question isn't big government versus small government. It's who government works for. I'm running for president to take on a corrupt system and to take our economy working for everyone. [applause] 110715 And I'm serious about delivering real change, and a lot of powerful people know it. Just take a look at who the Washington insiders and the Wall Street executives and the billionaires spend their time and money attacking on TV and in the press. They believe that I am the biggest threat to a corrupt system that has enriched them at the expense of everyone else. And they're right. I do have a plan to make real change. [applause] 110751 Now unlike some dem -- some candidates for the democratic nomination, I am not counting on republican politicians having an epiphany and suddenly supporting the kinds of tax increases on the rich or big business accountability that they've opposed under democratic presidents for a generation. Unlike some candidates for the democratic nomination, I'm not betting my agenda on the naive hope that if democrats adopt republican critiques of progressive policies or make vague calls for unity that somehow the wealthy and well connected will stand down. 110834 No, my plan is to use the same approach I've used in all my fights for working families. It's what I did before I was even a Senator, when I had an idea for a new federal agency to rein in cheating banks and I actually got it passed into law. [applause] It's how to make real change. I'm building a grassroots movement of Democrats, Independents, and Republicans, united in the belief that we can clean up the corruption in Washington and produce an economy with more growth, more opportunity, and more freedom. 110918 That is our path to beat Donald Trump in 2020. [applause] Think of it this way. We will beat the most corrupt President in American history by campaigning on the most aggressive anti-corruption platform since Watergate. We will beat a President who has enriched himself and his rich buddies with special rules, tax giveaways by campaigning on a comprehensive plan to make the economy work not just for those at the top, but to make it work for everyone. 111004 And here's the best part. We'll keep building that movement after the election and we'll make real change starting in January 2021. That's how we're gonna do it. [applause] So, let's start with some basics. I remember the day I grew up. I was in middle school, out in Oklahoma, when my daddy had a heart attack. And he was out of work for a long time. Eventually, we lost our family car and we almost lost our house. 111038 And that's why, when I became a law professor, I headed straight for the money courses -- teaching contract law, finance, banking, bankruptcy. I wanted to make sure that I understood money and how it affected families. And I figured if I could master these complex and technical areas of law, there'd be another benefit. No one would question whether a young woman with two little kids actually belonged in law teaching. So, there I was. 111107 Now, I never nursed dreams of running for office. Instead, I spent decades studying why families go broke. I became one of the nation's leading experts on bankruptcy. So nobody should be surprised that I believe in markets. I'm proud of what American businesses can create and I want them to thrive. But markets without rules are theft. And without fair rules, the wealthy and the powerful take all of the gains that markets produce. They take what -- and small businesses can't compete, and consumers have fewer choices. Without fair rules, markets perpetuate racial discrimination. 111155 Today, our corrupt system has produced too many markets where these things are all happening. The thin slice of folks at the top who benefit from this rigged game push policies that help themselves and then push the costs off on everyone else. They gut environmental protections, they undermine unions, they slash taxes for the rich, and more. Now they claim it's about supporting economic growth, and they pay for research and economic models that rely on absurd and disproven assumptions to try to freshen up those claims. 111235 They tag any attempt to reform the rigged system as "divisive" and "extreme" -- no matter how many Americans agree with it. Now, this has worked great for those at the top. But after decades of following their policies, it's clear this approach is not working for much of anyone else.Look past the daily headlines about the stock market and the unemployment rate, and you will see a grim, long-term picture of the American economy. 111308 Families are struggling. After accounting for inflation, average wages have barely budged for decades. Meanwhile, the core costs that most families face -- housing, child care, education, health care, they've shot through the roof. That combination has stretched family budgets to the breaking point. Economic growth is slow. For nearly fifteen years running now, annual economic growth in the United States has not topped 3%. 111339 And if we stay on this track, the Congressional Budget Office projects that economic growth will average under 2% a year over the next decade. The underlying trends are also deeply troubling. For more than a decade, productivity growth has been low. New business formation is sharply down. And while the unemployment rate is low now, job quality has been declining for decades. The Black-White wealth gap has grown larger. 111414 In 2017, the Black homeownership rate was as low as it was back when housing discrimination was legal in America. In the wealthiest nation on Earth, about 38 million people still live in poverty. In 2017, life expectancy in the United States dropped for the third year in a row. That's what the American economy looks like. But the view from the top is entirely different. 111450 Rich families are doing fabulously well. Since 1995, middle-class families have seen their net worth go up by 7 percent, think about that, that's over 23 years, while net worth for the top one percent has jumped 187 percent. The American people have done everything they can to keep up - they've gotten more education, they've taken on extra work, they've made careful decisions with their money. 111524 But tens of millions of people are barely treading water, and even those who are doing okay look around and worry about the future of this country. Only about a third of Americans believe children in the United States will be better off than their parents. And they are right to worry. Young people have been hit by a devastating financial crisis, a recession, and a lifetime of stagnant wages. They're buried in debt, including a massive $1.6 trillion in student loan debt. 111600 And just to ratchet up the pressure, they're staring at a growing likelihood of catastrophic climate change. Young people today are as hard-working as any generation, but opportunity is collapsing around them. And if they dare to question the corrupt system that has put them in this giant hole, the elites responsible for this mess have the gall to call them lazy and entitled. 111632 I say: enough. The rich and the powerful have written the rules for our economy so that they suck up all the gains for themselves. It is corruption, plain and simple and it's holding back growth in our economy. This country is brimming with talent and drive, but we need to tackle three structural problems in our economy to unleash that talent: 111711 First, too many big American corporations have hurt workers and our economy by focusing solely on the short-term interests of their investors. 111722 Second, in market after market, competition has declined. And third, stagnant incomes and rising costs have stretched family budgets past the breaking point. Three central problems in a rigged economy, and three problems we can solve. Part one. Let's start with how our biggest American corporations are run. You know, for most of our nation's history, corporations recognize that they serve not just their investors, but their workers, their customers, and their communities. 111758 But in the 1970s, a conservative economist put forward a theory that corporations should have only one purpose: maximizing the payoff to their investors. Now that idea took hold in corporate boardrooms across America, and Washington went right along. And boy did it make a difference. At the beginning of the 1980s, large American corporations sent less than 50% of their total earnings to their investors. 111831 Within thirty years, they sent 93% of their earnings directly to their investors. Think about it this way. Trillions of dollars that could have gone to workers and to long-term development, to new factories and new product lines instead went to short-term payoffs to investors. Trillions of dollars that could have gone to workers instead went to investors. Wages and productivity used to grow together. 111902 As workers produced more, they got paid more. But that ended by 1980 when productivity continued to rise but wages flattened out. As corporations narrowed their focus solely to investors, American workers stopped getting the share of corporate profits that they had produced. So today, corporate profits that used to be shared among investors and workers,and plowed back into the businesses have instead become a feast to be eaten by those who are already at the top. 111940 The wealthiest 10% in this country own 84% of American-held shares, and they are gobbling up the corporate profits. Now CEOs are gorging themselves too. The average CEO went from making 42 times what the average worker made back in 1980 to 278 times as much as the average worker last year. We can't fix this broken system by only treating symptoms. 112016 We can't fix it by talking vaguely about unions or lecturing about the value of hard work. We need big, structural change. [applause] And I got a plan for that. So. [applause] So let me -- Let's just talk about it for a minute. My plan requires very large American corporations to get a new federal charter that binds managers to consider the interests of workers, not just investors in corporate decisions. 112100 My plan lets employees at big American corporations elect at least 40% of their company's Board of Directors so workers will have a powerful voice in setting wages, stopping outsourcing, and investing in business right here in America. Yup. [applause] My plan limits executive compensation so that corporate leaders focus on the long-term success of the company instead of the short-term moves designed to goose the company stock price and put millions back in the executives' own pockets. 11240 And my plan shifts power back to workers by ending right-to-work laws across this country and building up private and public sector unions. [applause] Unions helped build America's middle class, and unions will help rebuild America's middle class. [applause] And that's just the beginning. 112212 My economic patriotism plan and my trade plans reinforce these reforms. Instead of workers continuing to live under the constant threat that their jobs are gonna be shipped to countries that can pay workers next to nothing, my plans allow American workers to compete on a level playing field. Instead of continuing to cater to the interests of big multinational corporations that have already said they have no loyalty to America, my plans put the interests of American workers first. 112246 Other candidates do not grapple with these fundamental issues of economics and power. Other candidates refuse to let workers elect corporate board members or to restrict executive compensation that encourages outsourcing. Other candidates refuse to challenge America's failed approach to trade that has sent millions of jobs overseas, encouraged pollution, accelerated climate change, and put the profits of multinational corporations above the jobs and pay of American workers. 112321 My plans attack the root causes of our dysfunctional economy by rewriting the rules. And they don't cost taxpayers a dime. My plans will produce more jobs, more growth, more investment, higher wages, and stronger American companies that we can use to compete and win. [applause] So that's Part 1, changing the way big American corporations put the short-term interests of investors over the interests of workers and everyone else. 112401 Part 2. Jumpstarting competition and innovation in America. Now, markets don't work in many areas like health care and education, for example. And better markets aren't the solution to every problem. But in any area with a functioning market, competition is essential to create value. When companies compete by providing better products, better services, or better prices, that helps customers. 112432 And it also rewards every business that out-innovates or out-works their competitors. But too many giant corporations have figured out they can boost their profits much more easily, meh, if they don't have to face competition at all. And the government officials responsible for enforcing the laws on competition have just fallen down on the job. So today, in market after market, a handful of big players dominate. 112506 Four giant companies control the entire market for beef. Two companies control more than 60% of all mattresses sold in America. Two companies own more than 90% of all retail drug stores. Hospitals, agriculture, drug companies -- the list goes on. These corporate executives who lead these companies will tell you that competition is a great idea -- for other businesses, just not for their own. 112536 Consolidation hurts our economy. Without competition, monopolists can charge whatever they want, so prices go up. Concentration also undercuts workers' bargaining power, so wages go down. And as the biggest companies grow more powerful, entrepreneurship declines. Giant corporations pose another problem: they can exercise more political influence, which allows them to tilt the rules in Washington more and more to protect themselves and to grow even larger. 112612 Mark Zuckerberg gets to have a private dinner with the President. Small business owners don't get that kind of access. It is time for a President who will enforce our antitrust laws and yes, break up massive corporations that use their size to undermine our economy and our democracy. [applause] 112643 Twenty years ago, antitrust prosecutions against Microsoft helped open up space for Google and Facebook to emerge. Today, breaking up big tech companies will clear the way for another generation of innovative tech firms, and stop companies like Amazon from stealing ideas from small outfits and driving them out of business. 112709 Breaking up big banks will reduce the threat of Too Big to Fail and ensure that community banks and credit unions have a better shot to compete. Breaking up Big Ag will make sure that family farmers aren't squeezed and that they have real options for purchasing and selling. I fought for rules that promote fair competition pretty much throughout my career. That was the idea behind the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. 112738 Before the financial crisis, corporations could trick customers with confusing mortgages or credit cards or payday loans. So I proposed a new agency that would enforce some basic rules against cheating, and then I fought to make it real. President Obama signed that agency into law in 2010, and since then, the agency has returned more than $12 billion dollars to people who were cheated. 112806 We can make government work. We can make government work. You know, the credit market has worked better both for customers and for honest businesses. That was also the idea behind my fight to bring low-cost, over-the-counter hearing aids to American families. 112832 On average, a pair of hearing aids in America, costs nearly $5,000 dollars. Now, Medicare and most private insurance plans won't cover hearing aids, so millions of people who need them just do without. But why is the price so high? Because of unnecessary regulations that insulated a handful of corporations from any real competition. 112858 So I led the fight to eliminate these barriers and let people buy hearing aids over the counter. I got the law changed -- yup! (applause) Got it changed and starting soon, Americans will be able to buy hearing aids at local drug stores for a fraction of the price and enjoy the freedom that comes with being able to communicate with the people they love. This is a good thing. 112927 These are the kinds of changes save people money. They spur economic growth and innovation. But every time I talk about them, there's somebody who wants to call me a socialist or a radical, just like they did every time FDR or Barack Obama or any other Democrat fought for real change. Well here's a newsflash: if you defend a corrupt system, where corporate lobbyists write the rules to squeeze out competition and hurt economic growth and undercut workers, you're not a capitalist. You're just a cheater. 113010 And anyone who is running for President and claims to want to help small businesses, wants to raise wages, wants to increase entrepreneurship, or wants to promote economic growth and innovation, can't just suck up to the people who are making huge profits by insulating themselves from competition. 113042 They can't just offer a few small business tax credits or loan programs and ignore concentration. They need to tackle concentrated markets and the power of monopolists -- even if it annoys some Big Tech CEOs. 113100 Now, my plans also promote innovation. As politicians from both parties let big corporations ship millions of jobs overseas and weaken our manufacturing base in market after market, America has lost a lot of its capacity to innovate. 113126 We can turn that around. A Green New Deal is necessary to save our planet -- and it's an enormous economic opportunity. Yup. Think of it this way: as this crisis bears down up on us, there is an emerging $23 trillion dollar global market for green technology. America could dominate that market, and we could develop and produce world-changing technology right here at home. 113204 My Green Manufacturing and climate plans lay out concrete, realistic steps to achieve that goal through a major new federal investment in research and development. Government investments in R&D can boost innovation and growth. And we should be doing way more of it. But unlike the other candidates' plans, my plan requires that anything built using this new research funding from American taxpayers must be manufactured right here in America. 113244 That's how we're going to create the kinds of good manufacturing jobs we've lost in recent decades. Now an independent analysis shows my Green Manufacturing plan boosts growth and creates more than a million good American jobs. My plan is a reminder of how rigged the game has become. Giant multinational corporations want to scoop up all of the benefits of American taxpayer-funded research, but then they want to turn around and manufacture their products overseas. 113319 They constantly ask the government to intervene in markets to protect their interests. They want special rules and they want bailouts when things go bad. And then, when it comes to stepping in to help American workers, those same giant corporations are all about "free market" principles again. Well I'm done with that double standard. 113352 And that brings us to Part 3. Raising incomes and lowering costs for working families. Demand is a critical driver of our economy, and weak demand acts like an anchor. When millions of families are squeezed, they have less money to buy, and that means businesses struggle to sell their goods or services. And when business can't sell, they don't make more investments or increase employment. 113420 Low demand drags down productivity and longer-term growth. And by the way, that is exactly why Donald Trump's huge tax giveaway to big corporations had almost no effect on business investment. Corporations didn't have market reasons, demand reasons, to invest back in their businesses and so they didn't. Instead, giant corporations handed out most of their tax giveaways to wealthy shareholders and to executives. 113452 When I am president, we will transform our economy by putting more money in the pockets of working families. We will raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour, lifting pay for nearly 40 million Americans. We'll increase Social Security and disability benefits by $200 a month for 64 million Americans. 113532 And think about what that means in our economy. That's money people can spend on home repairs, on groceries, on eating out. An independent analysis shows that this would increase long-term growth. What else? We will appoint a Federal Reserve Board that believes in full employment that recognizes that inflation fears have been overblown for years, and someone who is willing to let wages grow. We've got to do this. 113610 Plus, we will tackle family costs directly: housing, child care, education, health care. Think about what that means to our economy: tens of millions of families will have more money to spend. My housing plan will fix the structural supply problem that's driving prices up. We'll build or rehab more than three million new homes, cut rents by 10% and create 1.5 million good new jobs doing it. 113649 An independent economic analysis shows my plan will grow the economy. In most states, child care costs more than tuition at the in-state college. My plan provides for universal child care and early learning for all of our babies, age zero to five. My plan stops the exploitation of the people, disproportionately women of color, who do this work and raises the wages for every childcare worker and preschool teacher in America. 113730 And again, an independent analysis shows my plan will grow the economy. The cost of sending a kid to school after high school is also weighing down on families. Nearly 45 million people have student loan debt, and it can stop them from getting married, from buying homes, or from starting businesses. My plan provides free tuition at public technical schools, two-year colleges, and four-year colleges. It increases the federal investment in high-quality apprenticeships tenfold. 113804 And it cancels student loan debt for 95% of the people who've got it. And once again, experts agree that broad debt cancellation plans like mine will grow the economy. So housing, childcare, college. Health care costs are also soaring. Premiums have gone up more than 20% over the last five years. Half of all American adults report not getting the care they need because of costs. 113842 My health care plan delivers the most financial relief, to the most people, more quickly than any plan proposed by any other candidate. I will immediately act to reduce prices for critical drugs like EpiPens and Insulin, so families don't go broke or have to ration treatment. 113912 I'll give everyone over 50 the chance to join Medicare. Yup. And I'll give everyone in the country, the chance to switch from their current insurance to a Medicare for All option that would be free for 135 million Americans on day one and available to everyone else at a modest cost. And we can do all that without raising taxes on middle class families by one penny. 113953 And in my third year, when we vote to bring everybody into Medicare for All, we will deliver an enormous economic boost for entrepreneurs, for businesses of all sizes, and for our entire economy. Yup. There's another problem we need to attack, and that's the opioid crisis. 114019 It is a humanitarian crisis and an economic crisis as well. Donald Trump's Federal Reserve chair says the economic impact of the opioid crisis is "substantial," as workers with untreated addiction leave the workforce and growth sags. Now I've already passed legislation to tackle the crisis, and advocates and experts have said that my plan for actually ending this crisis "is the only one that really grasps how big the problem is." 114053 Housing. Child care. Education. Health care. A national health crisis. We can make change. Change that will touch the lives of millions of people. Change that will help families build some real security and help their children enjoy more opportunities. And change that will strengthen our economy. All of these plans lift up all working families, but they are also designed to address the shameful racial disparities that persist in our economy. 114134 Tackling the growing Black-White wealth gap is a moral obligation and we must meet it. With Jim Crow laws and legally-approved discrimination and more, government helped create the racial wealth gap in America, and government should help fix it. 114207 And here's the thing, closing the gap will also boost the economy. My student debt cancellation plan helps close the gap, which is one of the reasons why the NAACP supports it. My housing plan helps narrow the gap by including historic down payment assistance for residents of formerly redlined areas. My entrepreneurship plan helps close the gap, the startup capital gap between White and Black entrepreneurs and promotes Black small business. 114241 For decades, some people, including some in our own party, have dismissed these kinds of necessary investments to the middle class as "free stuff." You want to know who is getting free stuff? Amazon, a company that reported more than $10 billion in profits this year and is paying zero dollars in federal income taxes. 114313 Or billionaires, who can watch their stock portfolios rise by hundreds of millions of dollars and pay nothing in additional federal income taxes. Yup. Today's corporations pay a smaller share of federal tax revenue than they have in a generation. In relation to their wealth, the top one tenth of one percent of Americans are projected to pay less than half of what the bottom 99% of Americans will pay in taxes this year. 114357 And, think about that. And pundits and politicians are outraged that my plans are too helpful to hard-working people who are trying to get a foothold in America's middle class? Middle-class families are paying more than their fair share of taxes to keep this country running. They should be able to pay the rent or the mortgage without leaving themselves flat busted. They should be able to get an education without getting drowned in debt. They should be able to go to work without child care costs eating up their entire paychecks. 114438 They should be able to get the health care they need when they're sick without risking bankruptcy. Hard-working people need a government on their side, and we can start by reducing the costs they lay out month after month on housing, child care, education, and health care. 114506 And here's the best part: we can cover the costs of those plans with targeted taxes on the very wealthiest Americans and large corporations. We can do it. And despite the hand-wringing of a seemingly endless parade of outraged billionaires on television, nobody is going to go broke. 114537 So look, I am no fan of Michael Bloomberg that has been made clear. Through the years. But here's the deal. Michael Bloomberg built a successful business. And I am, i want to honor that. I think that's great. You've built a successful business here in america. Good for you. But here's the thing. You built that successful business here in America, you did it in no small part using workers all of us helped pay to educate. 114612 You did it at least in part getting your goods to market on roads and bridges all of us help pay for. You did it at least in part protected by police and firefighters all of us help pay the salaries for. And here's the thing. We're americans. We are glad to do it. We want to make those investments. But what we have to be able to do is to say when you make it big, when you make it really big, when you make top one tenth of one---big in America, pitch in two cents. 114647 So that everyone else has a chance to make it in this country. A wealth tax on millionaires and billionaires isn't about being punitive or denigrating success. It's about laying the foundation for future successes. It's about making sure that the wealthy don't pick up the ladder after them. 114722 And it's about building a stronger economy with more growth. We've seen enough evidence that helping billionaires buy more paintings and more yachts doesn't help grow the economy. Real growth comes from putting a wealth tax of a few cents on billionaires' paintings and yachts so that we can provide universal child care, cancel student loan debts, and make other investments in hard-working people in this country. 114801 So how do we get all of that done? Well, I've got a plan for that. So to turn my plans into reality, I'll use the same inside-outside approach that great Democrats like FDR used to pass sweeping change. Right now, we're building a grassroots movement to win on Election Day in 2020, but after election day, no one gets to go home. 114831 I want that movement to stay in the fight. I want to keep growing that movement, so that together we can push for the kinds of big, structural change that this campaign is all about. We'll use every tool possible to fight for this change. We'll fight for comprehensive anti-corruption rules to clean up Washington. 114857 We'll fight for comprehensive filibuster reform so that Mitch McConnell and big corporations don't get a veto over our plans. And we'll stand ready to use the same 50-vote reconciliation process that Republicans used to attack Obamacare and to pass their trillion-dollar tax giveaway to the rich. Only we're going to use those tools to accomplish the reverse set of policies. 114934 To raise taxes on the wealthy, to lower taxes--costs on everyone else, and to invest in green manufacturing and other industries that create good American jobs. Wherever possible, I want to work with Congress on new laws. But I don't overlook what's already available. Previous Congresses have already passed a lot of laws that a President can use now to help out our families. 115010 And I'll use those laws, starting on day one. I am grateful to President Obama for appointing me as an Assistant to the President, where I helped set up the CFPB. And later, when I became a Senator, I used that executive experience to push our federal agencies to use their existing legal authorities to help working families, on everything from student loan debt cancellation to protecting veterans from mortgage scams. 115043 My plans lay out the actions I will take using the power of the presidency to raise wages, to protect workers, to fight climate change, and more. Now will I have a magic wand to enact my full agenda? Of course not. No President does. I know I will have to compromise, but that's not where we start. 115113 We start with the work of mobilizing a movement, building real leverage, and fighting hard. And I know we won't win every fight. But I can promise that we will hit the ground running using every tool available to build a government that works not just for those at the top but a government that works for everyone. 115144 According to a recent survey, only 17% of Americans trust their government to do the right thing at least most of the time. Huge numbers of Democrats, Republicans, and independents understand that Washington is captured by the wealthy and the well-connected. As a candidate, Donald Trump talked a big game and promised to drain the swamp. And then he broke that promise. 115214 In fact, his Presidency is the most corrupt in modern history. His Administration is stacked with former lobbyists handing out favors to big corporations. Dozens of people who have worked with him are facing investigations, have pleaded guilty, or are already serving jail time. And the President himself is now staring down the barrel of impeachment for abusing his power. 115246 AUDIENCE MEMBER>> Lock him up. WARREN>> Yup -- Nope. Americans of all political stripes are looking for a candidate who is serious about fighting Washington corruption. They know that until someone is willing to do that, nothing else will get done. Demonstrating a real commitment to reform is our best general election contrast with a corrupt President. 115320 It's how we win moderates, independents, and disaffected Republicans. And it's how we govern successfully. But we're nearly a year into the Democratic primary and no other candidate has put out anything close to my sweeping plan to root out Washington corruption. Now, some candidates have at least put forward campaign finance reform plans. But if you want to know about a candidate's commitment to reform, don't just look at what they say they will do - look at what they're doing right now. 115357 Most candidates haven't disclosed the names of their bundlers or finance committees. They are spending time in fundraisers with high-dollar donors, selling access to their time for money. Some of them have spent months blocking reporters from entering those fancy, closed-door affairs. We know that one Democratic candidate walked into a room of wealthy donors this year to promise that "nothing would fundamentally change" if he's elected President. 115428 We know that another calls the people who raise a quarter of a million dollars for him his "National Investors Circle," and he offers them regular phone calls and special access. When a candidate brags about how beholden he feels to a group of wealthy investors, our democracy is in serious trouble. 115458 And what do the wealthiest donors want in return? Consider just one example: ambassadorships. The President's impeachment right now, is centered on the shady actions of Gordon Sondland, America's ambassador to the European Union. Now Mr. Sondland had one qualification for ambassador: he wrote a check for a million dollars to Donald Trump's inauguration. 115528 It shouldn't be hard for candidates in a Democratic primary to at least commit to not auctioning off their own ambassadorships to the highest bidder, but most of them have refused. Look, I don't ask for a thousand dollar contribution in exchange for a picture. I'm closing in on 100,000 selfies for a grand total of zero dollars. Yeah. 115602 I don't do closed door fundraisers with big donors. I don't do special call time with people who raise a quarter million dollars. I don't sell access to my time. And I've said out loud and in public, where any donor can hear it, that I won't auction off ambassadorships to the highest bidder. These are commitments that are going to cause some big donors to stay away, and that may be why most candidates in this primary are not making those commitments. 115632 I get it. We are all constrained by the current system. Nobody is perfect, and nobody is pure. And there's no question that any Democrat running for President would be a whole lot better than Donald Trump. And I understand the practical and political costs of pushing for real reform. 115701 But voters will not trust a candidate who won't make a single difficult decision that might cut down on the access and influence of wealthy donors. And voters will be right. 115721 In 2020, we can run and win on a progressive economic agenda because a progressive economic agenda is America's agenda. Look at it this way, a majority of Democrats, independents and Republicans support my wealth tax plan. A majority of Democrats, independents, and Republicans support my plan to increase Social Security benefits. 115758 And a majority of Democrats, independents, and Republicans support anti-corruption reforms. And while there are candidates in this primary who are trying mightily to convince Democratic primary voters that this kind of popular agenda will somehow make it harder to beat Donald Trump, do you know who disagrees with that conclusion? Donald Trump. 115828 Just consider two examples from recent days. First, some candidates have suggested that my broad student loan debt cancellation plan, which is popular and would be a huge boon to our economy, will somehow "alienate" people. Meanwhile, back in the real world, Trump is reportedly so worried about the appeal of this proposal that he's sent his aides scrambling to come up with some knock-off version that he can claim. 115901 And it's the same with the wealth tax. Trump launched an outlandish false attack on it last week in an anti-Semitic rant, because he knows as well as I do that asking billionaires to pitch in a few pennies is reasonable and popular. And let's be honest, he's just one more rich guy who will go to extraordinary lengths not to have to pay more taxes. 115931 My agenda is compelling to voters because it speaks to real problems in their lives. I've done 179 town halls in 28 states and Puerto Rico, and whether it's in West Virginia or Alabama or Iowa or right here in New Hampshire, the people I meet want real solutions. They are looking for candidates who can make a clear case for what's broken and how to fix it. 120008 Now, for years, establishment insiders in both parties ignored what was happening to our economy. They ignored the growing insecurities and anxieties of working people. They called for more nibbling around the edges, for smaller and smaller solutions that failed to match the scale of our growing problems. 120030 Every day, you see it on cable news and in the op-ed pages. The same nibbling around the edges, the same attacks on big ideas. The choice for the Democratic Party in this primary is the same choice it faces in every primary: Will we bet on more of the same, or will we bet on change? Will we bet on small ideas, or will we bet on big, structural change? 120101 If we are going to build an economy that works for everyone, and if we are going to win a change election instead of once again getting run over by a change election, we must stand up to those with power and fight for the American people. 120127 I'm running for President because I believe the American people are smart and that when we offer good plans that will deliver more financial security, more economic growth, more opportunity, more freedom, to all of our people, then we will win and we will make real change in this country we love so much. ####
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ELIZABETH WARREN MANCHESTER NH ST ANSLEM COLLEGE POLITICS CBS POOL 2020
LU 2 ELIZABETH WARREN MANCHESTER NH ST ANSLEM COLLEGE POLITICS CBS POOL 121219 2020 FEED ALSO CAME IN ON TVU 20, TIMECODES FROM THERE GOFFSTOWN, N.H. - In a fiery speech today at the New Hampshire Institute of Politics, Sen. Elizabeth Warren criticized a handful of her opponents and pitched herself as the sole Democrat who is not afraid to take on the problems voters face. Asked after the speech if that was her intent - to effectively say that she can fix the system and everyone else is either not willing to or not paying for all of it - she was clear: "pretty much," Warren told reporters in a gaggle. "Pretty much. I mean look we know how bad the problems are right now, no one is proposing the kinds of solutions that address those problems. We have a serious problem in America with corruption, with a Washington that keeps working better and better and better for those at the top and not much for anyone else..But Americans know this all across the country and it means in a democratic primary, that's a problem we should be wrestling with, it's one we should be attacking head on - and it's just not happening." 120839 A few quick highlights of news-of-day bites from the gaggle and then more from the speech: Asked if she's concerned she might miss the January debate despite the DNC's promises to accommodate senators who might be on the Hill for impeachment, Warren said she hopes "this is not a bridge that we will have to cross" 121347 but maintained "I will be there, that is my first responsibility." 121325 "Look, I took an oath of office to uphold the constitution of the United States of America and if we are in debate in proceedings over impeachment, I will be there. That is my first responsibility," she said. 121325 And because Warren is the only woman at the top of the field these days, on the heels of her own comments from a Monday night event in Vegas that men always tell her to "sit down and be quiet," Warren was asked if she was "sensing that at all" in this cycle. "Yes," she said, laughing. Asked to elaborate, she said "No. Look, you gotta be in the fight and that's what I'm doing." 121242 SPEECH: Though the wonky speech was chock-full of wealth disparity statistics and Warren's dozens of plans to address economic issues facing families, most notable were the dozens of critiques she launched at her fellow Democratic candidates (and Trump) -- part of a growing trend for Warren, who largely refused to "bash" other Democrats until a few weeks ago. + ATTACKS ON OTHER CANDIDATES (THESE MAINLY WERE AIMED AT BIDEN/BUTTIGIEG) Warren seemed to attack Biden for his comments that Republicans will have an "epiphany" after Trump leaves office and work across the aisle -- and for his comments that some Democrats think he's "naive" because he wants to work with them. She also took swings at anyone who has used "Republican critiques" to attack "progressive policies," an argument she has used to push back on Biden and Buttigieg over their Medicare for All criticism. "Now unlike some Dem -- some candidates for the Democratic nomination, I am not counting on Republican politicians having an epiphany and suddenly supporting the kinds of tax increases on the rich or big business accountability that they've opposed under Democratic presidents for a generation. Unlike some candidates for the Democratic nomination, I'm not betting my agenda on the naive hope that if Democrats adopt Republican critiques of progressive policies or make vague calls for unity that somehow the wealthy and well connected will stand down."110751 // She also went after candidates who are holding high-dollar fundraisers - specifically Buttigieg, who she called on to release his bundlers/finance committee (which he has said he will do), and Biden, who commented earlier this year to donors that he didn't think wealthy people should be demonized or punished and "nothing would fundamentally change" if he was elected. "Most candidates haven't disclosed the names of their bundlers or finance committees. They are spending time in fundraisers with high-dollar donors, selling access to their time for money. Some of them have spent months blocking reporters from entering those fancy, closed-door affairs."115357 "We know that one Democratic candidate walked into a room of wealthy donors this year to promise that "nothing would fundamentally change" if he's elected President."115357 Specifically attacking Buttigieg, she talked about the name the Buttigieg campaign gave early on to some of its top bundlers: the "national investors circle." "We know that another calls the people who raise a quarter of a million dollars for him his "National Investors Circle," and he offers them regular phone calls and special access. When a candidate brags about how beholden he feels to a group of wealthy investors, our democracy is in serious trouble." 115428 // By contrast, she said this about her own campaign (she is somewhere around 90,000 selfies, according to the campaign): "Look, I don't ask for a thousand dollar contribution in exchange for a picture. I'm closing in on 100,000 selfies for a grand total of zero dollars. Yeah." 115528 + ELECTABILITY/TRUMP Warren argued that talk of Trump's plans to tackle student debt (as reported by WaPo <https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonpost.com%2Flocal%2Feducation%2Feyeing-populist-challenge-from-the-left-trump-seeks-plan-to-tackle-student-debt%2F2019%2F12%2F05%2Fbbb002f8-16aa-11ea-a659-7d69641c6ff7_story.html&data=02%7C01%7CMegan.X.Farrell.-ND%40abc.com%7Cbaf90e749f3944372d5608d77f3a6e6c%7C56b731a8a2ac4c32bf6b616810e913c6%7C1%7C0%7C637117761311859764&sdata=i3sRwjgPjlHDCmkO2uDjrhE3HJpj9kJC6dtwiItyJpg%3D&reserved=0>) and his recent comments <https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fthehill.com%2Fhomenews%2Fadministration%2F473543-trump-calls-warren-pocahontas-knocks-wealth-tax&data=02%7C01%7CMegan.X.Farrell.-ND%40abc.com%7Cbaf90e749f3944372d5608d77f3a6e6c%7C56b731a8a2ac4c32bf6b616810e913c6%7C1%7C0%7C637117761311859764&sdata=FZaa6smQ5%2B%2FRHrRkP4VPI350KIAeun5d6hJVYrQWDrY%3D&reserved=0>about her wealth tax show that he thinks she's a threat. She also pushed back against the argument that her plans are too far left and compromise her ability to beat Trump. "And while there are candidates in this primary who are trying mightily to convince Democratic primary voters that this kind of popular agenda will somehow make it harder to beat Donald Trump, do you know who disagrees with that conclusion? Donald Trump." 115828 "Just consider two examples from recent days. First, some candidates have suggested that my broad student loan debt cancellation plan, which is popular and would be a huge boon to our economy, will somehow "alienate" people. Meanwhile, back in the real world, Trump is reportedly so worried about the appeal of this proposal that he's sent his aides scrambling to come up with some knock-off version that he can claim. And it's the same with the wealth tax. Trump launched an outlandish false attack on it last week in an anti-Semitic rant, because he knows as well as I do that asking billionaires to pitch in a few pennies is reasonable and popular. And let's be honest, he's just one more rich guy who will go to extraordinary lengths not to have to pay more taxes." 115901 + "I AM THE BIGGEST THREAT" Warren led off her speech by addressing the scrutiny she's received in the press, and the people who she says fear her: Washington insiders and Wall Street executives. "I'm serious about delivering real change, and a lot of powerful people know it. Just take a look at who the Washington insiders and the Wall Street executives and the billionaires spend their time and money attacking on TV and in the press. They believe that I am the biggest threat to a corrupt system that has enriched them at the expense of everyone else. And they're right." 110715 + RESPONSE TO ANYONE WHO CALLS HER A SOCIALIST/RADICAL Warren argued Democrats who "defend a corrupt system" are not "capitalists" but "cheaters." "These are the kinds of changes save people money. They spur economic growth and innovation. But every time I talk about them, there's somebody who wants to call me a socialist or a radical, just like they did every time FDR or Barack Obama or any other Democrat fought for real change. Well, here's a newsflash: if you defend a corrupt system, where corporate lobbyists write the rules to squeeze out competition and hurt economic growth and undercut workers, you're not a capitalist. You're just a cheater. "112927 + BLOOMBERG Warren didn't call Bloomberg out in the traditional way she has in the past few weeks, attacking him for buying the election, but instead used him as an example for the wealth tax and (somewhat surprisingly) gave him credit for building a "successful business." "So look, I am no fan of Michael Bloomberg that has been made clear through the years. But here's the deal. Michael Bloomberg built a successful business. And I am, i want to honor that. I think that's great. You've built a successful business here in America. Good for you. . But what we have to be able to do is to say when you make it big, when you make it really big, when you make top one tenth of one---big in America, pitch in two cents. It's about making sure that the wealthy don't pick up the ladder after them. 114537 + HOW SHE'LL ENACT HER PLANS Toward the end of her speech, after mapping out dozens of her plans, Warren talked about the "movement" her campaign is building and how that would propel her ability to get things done once elected. "Now, will I have a magic wand to enact my full agenda? Of course not. No President does. I know I will have to compromise, but that's not where we start. We start with the work of mobilizing a movement, building real leverage, and fighting hard. And I know we won't win every fight. But I can promise that we will hit the ground running using every tool available to build a government that works not just for those at the top but a government that works for everyone." 115113 TVU 20 ELIZABETH WARREN MANCHESTER NH ST ANSLEM COLLEGE POLITICS ABC UNI 121219 2020 Gaggle Q: this was a pretty explicit speech effectively yuo can fix the system and everyone is either not willing to or not paying for all of it, is that right? 120839 WARREN: pretty much, I mean look we know how bad the problems are right now, no one is proposing the kinds of solutions that address those problems. We have a serious problem in America with corruption, with a washington that keeps working better and better and better for those at the top and not much for anyone else. And today, i talked about all the economic data that showed that. 120905 But Americans know this. All across the country and it means in democratic primary, that's a problem we should be wrestling with, it's one we should be attacking head on and it's just not happening. Q: (?) rest of the field the way they've gone about their policy? 120921 WARREN: well, it's that this is the problem we need to tackle. So, I laid it all out in one place together but this is what I've been working on for an entire year and shoot, anyone who's been paying attention in Washington for years now, knows that this is a problem. A problem when the republicans pass a trillion and a half dollar tax cut and all the gains go at the top. A problem when we see the stock market continue to rise, but the gains go to those at the top. A problem, when American families barely get a pay increase and yet, all of their core expenses- housing, healthcare, childcare, sending a kid off to school are just going through the roof. 121006 Americans need a government on their side. That's why I'm running for president, and that's why I'm giving speeches like this. Q>> Should congressional and senate candidates be held to the same standard for fundraising? WARR>> So, we're in a democratic primary for president. And in a democratic primary, we're just running against other democrats. This is a moment when we should be building a grassroots, not blocking the grassroots. 121031 This is a moment when we should be opening ourselves to voters, not doing closed door fundraisers and special calls to people who give lots of monies. This is our chance to build that movement because that's gonna be our comparative advantage come November 2020 and it's gonna be how we'll make change come January 2021. Q>> --(inaudible) --- top tier of the Democratic field. Why do you believe that notable? 121058 WARR>> I'm sorry what? Q>> you're the lone female in the top tier for the field, Why do you believe that is notable? WARR>> Look I watched last week when Kamala Harris announced that she was being forced out of this race by money at the same time that two billionaires are buying their way into this primary. One on the very same day that Kamla announced that she was dropping out, bought his way on to the debate stage. 121129 And the other continues to drop tens of millions of dollars in advertising, saying he's going to entirely skip campaigning. You know, we have a broken political system when it's all about either you've got to be a billionaire or you got to suck up to billionaires in order to make it forward. So, I'm gonna do what I can to continue to lift up the issues that Kamala raised. She was an important voice in this debate. I'm also lifting up the issues that Kirsten Gillibrand raised. And co-sponsoring with them on work in the Senate. But also, talking about them in the campaign. The importance of paid family leave. 121212 The importance of preclude, of laws in states that have tried to restrict women's access to full range of health care services. Those are issues that are brought to the table and I think it's really important that we continue to talk about them. Q: three men in the race that are in the top tier and I remember Monday you talked about how men always tell you to sit down? WARREN:: mmhmm Q: are you sensing that at all this time around? WARR: yes. [laughs] Q: can you elaborate on that? 121242 WARR: no. look, you gotta be in the fight and that's what I'm doing. I get out there every single day and I talk to as many voters as I can. It's why I've done 179 town halls, it's why I've been to 28 states and PR. It's why we're closing in on 100,000 selfies. I'm out there trying to reach out directly to voters. Because I believe that's how we're going to repair our democracy, and that's how we're going to create opportunities not just for a handful, not just for the same old guys, how we are going to create opportunities for everyone. Q: Missing a debate for a senate trial, I know the DNC says they will accommodate with the debates but is that a concern? 121325 WARR: Look, I took an oath of office to uphold the constitution of the United States of America nad if we are in debate in proceedings over impeachment, I will be there. That is my first responsibility. Q: follow up - you would be the only female voice on that stage if you miss the debate for the trial that's gone. 121347 WARR: look, I hope this is not a bridge that we will have to cross but it is absolutely crucial that we go forward as soberly nad non politically on this impeachment process as possible. Q: what od you make on the Pennsylvania U report on your wealth tax? They say yours are way too high. 121408 WARR: they didn't actually analyze my wealth tax. They changed provisions and then analyzed something else. You know before I ever rolled the wealth tax out, I had independent economists look at it, and we got evaluation from economists, from tax experts about how much wealth it would produce. And I'm very confident about our numbers on this, but I understand, there are people who want to throw out a lot of dust around this because they don't really have a comeback to that central question. 121445 And that is, why aren't we asking the folks at the very top to pitch in a couple of cents so that we could actually invest in opportunity in everyone else. It's a very popular idea among Democrats, Independents, and Republicans. And that's leaving the billionaires scrambling to find some other argument for why this shouldn't be done. Q>> For the first few months, you didn't criticize anyone, what's changed? 121518 WARR>> Look, I --- FEED FREEZES 121528 .. to take that corruption head on. We've got to be willing to draw the contrast between the most corrupt administration in modern history. And a democratic candidate who sees it, who calls it out, who has a serious plan to break up the influence of money in Washington and to actually get some laws passed that aren't just there to help the wealthy and the well connected. But are there to help everyone. ### SPEECH 110426 Hello St. Anslem College, it is good to be here. And it is good to be back in New Hampshire. Our country reached a crossroads. And in 2020, voters in New Hampshire's first in the nation primary will help determine where we go from here. So, thank you all for inviting your time to be here this morning, investing your time to get this right. It really matters. 110455 I am very happy to be here at a university that is giving the world a front row seat in our democratic process. You know, nearly 40 years ago, Ronald Reagan declared that the problem with the economy was big government. He claimed that government hurt economic growth and limited freedom. And he was determined to weaken the government's role in markets. 110522 But things didn't work out as he promised. As government pulled back, the rich and powerful stepped in. A small group of wealthy elites and giant corporations gained more control over both our economy and over our democracy. Meanwhile, economic growth slowed, and America's middle class got hollowed out. Reagan had it wrong. Our problem isn't big government. Our problem is a government that has been captured by the rich and the powerful. 110557 Government could help grow the economy, could create opportunities, could support small businesses and entrepreneurship. But instead, we have a government that works only for those at the top. Reagan liked to talk about freedom. But real freedom isn't living under the thumb of a handful of billionaires and giant corporations. Real freedom isn't living deep in debt. One health scare or broken transmission away from disaster. 110632 Real freedom isn't watching while more and more opportunities get snatched up by the rich and powerful. Real freedom comes when a strong government enforces fair rules and when smart investments give every American the opportunity to prosper. The key question isn't big government versus small government. It's who government works for. I'm running for president to take on a corrupt system and to take our economy working for everyone. [applause] 110715 And I'm serious about delivering real change, and a lot of powerful people know it. Just take a look at who the Washington insiders and the Wall Street executives and the billionaires spend their time and money attacking on TV and in the press. They believe that I am the biggest threat to a corrupt system that has enriched them at the expense of everyone else. And they're right. I do have a plan to make real change. [applause] 110751 Now unlike some dem -- some candidates for the democratic nomination, I am not counting on republican politicians having an epiphany and suddenly supporting the kinds of tax increases on the rich or big business accountability that they've opposed under democratic presidents for a generation. Unlike some candidates for the democratic nomination, I'm not betting my agenda on the naive hope that if democrats adopt republican critiques of progressive policies or make vague calls for unity that somehow the wealthy and well connected will stand down. 110834 No, my plan is to use the same approach I've used in all my fights for working families. It's what I did before I was even a Senator, when I had an idea for a new federal agency to rein in cheating banks and I actually got it passed into law. [applause] It's how to make real change. I'm building a grassroots movement of Democrats, Independents, and Republicans, united in the belief that we can clean up the corruption in Washington and produce an economy with more growth, more opportunity, and more freedom. 110918 That is our path to beat Donald Trump in 2020. [applause] Think of it this way. We will beat the most corrupt President in American history by campaigning on the most aggressive anti-corruption platform since Watergate. We will beat a President who has enriched himself and his rich buddies with special rules, tax giveaways by campaigning on a comprehensive plan to make the economy work not just for those at the top, but to make it work for everyone. 111004 And here's the best part. We'll keep building that movement after the election and we'll make real change starting in January 2021. That's how we're gonna do it. [applause] So, let's start with some basics. I remember the day I grew up. I was in middle school, out in Oklahoma, when my daddy had a heart attack. And he was out of work for a long time. Eventually, we lost our family car and we almost lost our house. 111038 And that's why, when I became a law professor, I headed straight for the money courses -- teaching contract law, finance, banking, bankruptcy. I wanted to make sure that I understood money and how it affected families. And I figured if I could master these complex and technical areas of law, there'd be another benefit. No one would question whether a young woman with two little kids actually belonged in law teaching. So, there I was. 111107 Now, I never nursed dreams of running for office. Instead, I spent decades studying why families go broke. I became one of the nation's leading experts on bankruptcy. So nobody should be surprised that I believe in markets. I'm proud of what American businesses can create and I want them to thrive. But markets without rules are theft. And without fair rules, the wealthy and the powerful take all of the gains that markets produce. They take what -- and small businesses can't compete, and consumers have fewer choices. Without fair rules, markets perpetuate racial discrimination. 111155 Today, our corrupt system has produced too many markets where these things are all happening. The thin slice of folks at the top who benefit from this rigged game push policies that help themselves and then push the costs off on everyone else. They gut environmental protections, they undermine unions, they slash taxes for the rich, and more. Now they claim it's about supporting economic growth, and they pay for research and economic models that rely on absurd and disproven assumptions to try to freshen up those claims. 111235 They tag any attempt to reform the rigged system as "divisive" and "extreme" -- no matter how many Americans agree with it. Now, this has worked great for those at the top. But after decades of following their policies, it's clear this approach is not working for much of anyone else.Look past the daily headlines about the stock market and the unemployment rate, and you will see a grim, long-term picture of the American economy. 111308 Families are struggling. After accounting for inflation, average wages have barely budged for decades. Meanwhile, the core costs that most families face -- housing, child care, education, health care, they've shot through the roof. That combination has stretched family budgets to the breaking point. Economic growth is slow. For nearly fifteen years running now, annual economic growth in the United States has not topped 3%. 111339 And if we stay on this track, the Congressional Budget Office projects that economic growth will average under 2% a year over the next decade. The underlying trends are also deeply troubling. For more than a decade, productivity growth has been low. New business formation is sharply down. And while the unemployment rate is low now, job quality has been declining for decades. The Black-White wealth gap has grown larger. 111414 In 2017, the Black homeownership rate was as low as it was back when housing discrimination was legal in America. In the wealthiest nation on Earth, about 38 million people still live in poverty. In 2017, life expectancy in the United States dropped for the third year in a row. That's what the American economy looks like. But the view from the top is entirely different. 111450 Rich families are doing fabulously well. Since 1995, middle-class families have seen their net worth go up by 7 percent, think about that, that's over 23 years, while net worth for the top one percent has jumped 187 percent. The American people have done everything they can to keep up - they've gotten more education, they've taken on extra work, they've made careful decisions with their money. 111524 But tens of millions of people are barely treading water, and even those who are doing okay look around and worry about the future of this country. Only about a third of Americans believe children in the United States will be better off than their parents. And they are right to worry. Young people have been hit by a devastating financial crisis, a recession, and a lifetime of stagnant wages. They're buried in debt, including a massive $1.6 trillion in student loan debt. 111600 And just to ratchet up the pressure, they're staring at a growing likelihood of catastrophic climate change. Young people today are as hard-working as any generation, but opportunity is collapsing around them. And if they dare to question the corrupt system that has put them in this giant hole, the elites responsible for this mess have the gall to call them lazy and entitled. 111632 I say: enough. The rich and the powerful have written the rules for our economy so that they suck up all the gains for themselves. It is corruption, plain and simple and it's holding back growth in our economy. This country is brimming with talent and drive, but we need to tackle three structural problems in our economy to unleash that talent: 111711 First, too many big American corporations have hurt workers and our economy by focusing solely on the short-term interests of their investors. 111722 Second, in market after market, competition has declined. And third, stagnant incomes and rising costs have stretched family budgets past the breaking point. Three central problems in a rigged economy, and three problems we can solve. Part one. Let's start with how our biggest American corporations are run. You know, for most of our nation's history, corporations recognize that they serve not just their investors, but their workers, their customers, and their communities. 111758 But in the 1970s, a conservative economist put forward a theory that corporations should have only one purpose: maximizing the payoff to their investors. Now that idea took hold in corporate boardrooms across America, and Washington went right along. And boy did it make a difference. At the beginning of the 1980s, large American corporations sent less than 50% of their total earnings to their investors. 111831 Within thirty years, they sent 93% of their earnings directly to their investors. Think about it this way. Trillions of dollars that could have gone to workers and to long-term development, to new factories and new product lines instead went to short-term payoffs to investors. Trillions of dollars that could have gone to workers instead went to investors. Wages and productivity used to grow together. 111902 As workers produced more, they got paid more. But that ended by 1980 when productivity continued to rise but wages flattened out. As corporations narrowed their focus solely to investors, American workers stopped getting the share of corporate profits that they had produced. So today, corporate profits that used to be shared among investors and workers,and plowed back into the businesses have instead become a feast to be eaten by those who are already at the top. 111940 The wealthiest 10% in this country own 84% of American-held shares, and they are gobbling up the corporate profits. Now CEOs are gorging themselves too. The average CEO went from making 42 times what the average worker made back in 1980 to 278 times as much as the average worker last year. We can't fix this broken system by only treating symptoms. 112016 We can't fix it by talking vaguely about unions or lecturing about the value of hard work. We need big, structural change. [applause] And I got a plan for that. So. [applause] So let me -- Let's just talk about it for a minute. My plan requires very large American corporations to get a new federal charter that binds managers to consider the interests of workers, not just investors in corporate decisions. 112100 My plan lets employees at big American corporations elect at least 40% of their company's Board of Directors so workers will have a powerful voice in setting wages, stopping outsourcing, and investing in business right here in America. Yup. [applause] My plan limits executive compensation so that corporate leaders focus on the long-term success of the company instead of the short-term moves designed to goose the company stock price and put millions back in the executives' own pockets. 11240 And my plan shifts power back to workers by ending right-to-work laws across this country and building up private and public sector unions. [applause] Unions helped build America's middle class, and unions will help rebuild America's middle class. [applause] And that's just the beginning. 112212 My economic patriotism plan and my trade plans reinforce these reforms. Instead of workers continuing to live under the constant threat that their jobs are gonna be shipped to countries that can pay workers next to nothing, my plans allow American workers to compete on a level playing field. Instead of continuing to cater to the interests of big multinational corporations that have already said they have no loyalty to America, my plans put the interests of American workers first. 112246 Other candidates do not grapple with these fundamental issues of economics and power. Other candidates refuse to let workers elect corporate board members or to restrict executive compensation that encourages outsourcing. Other candidates refuse to challenge America's failed approach to trade that has sent millions of jobs overseas, encouraged pollution, accelerated climate change, and put the profits of multinational corporations above the jobs and pay of American workers. 112321 My plans attack the root causes of our dysfunctional economy by rewriting the rules. And they don't cost taxpayers a dime. My plans will produce more jobs, more growth, more investment, higher wages, and stronger American companies that we can use to compete and win. [applause] So that's Part 1, changing the way big American corporations put the short-term interests of investors over the interests of workers and everyone else. 112401 Part 2. Jumpstarting competition and innovation in America. Now, markets don't work in many areas like health care and education, for example. And better markets aren't the solution to every problem. But in any area with a functioning market, competition is essential to create value. When companies compete by providing better products, better services, or better prices, that helps customers. 112432 And it also rewards every business that out-innovates or out-works their competitors. But too many giant corporations have figured out they can boost their profits much more easily, meh, if they don't have to face competition at all. And the government officials responsible for enforcing the laws on competition have just fallen down on the job. So today, in market after market, a handful of big players dominate. 112506 Four giant companies control the entire market for beef. Two companies control more than 60% of all mattresses sold in America. Two companies own more than 90% of all retail drug stores. Hospitals, agriculture, drug companies -- the list goes on. These corporate executives who lead these companies will tell you that competition is a great idea -- for other businesses, just not for their own. 112536 Consolidation hurts our economy. Without competition, monopolists can charge whatever they want, so prices go up. Concentration also undercuts workers' bargaining power, so wages go down. And as the biggest companies grow more powerful, entrepreneurship declines. Giant corporations pose another problem: they can exercise more political influence, which allows them to tilt the rules in Washington more and more to protect themselves and to grow even larger. 112612 Mark Zuckerberg gets to have a private dinner with the President. Small business owners don't get that kind of access. It is time for a President who will enforce our antitrust laws and yes, break up massive corporations that use their size to undermine our economy and our democracy. [applause] 112643 Twenty years ago, antitrust prosecutions against Microsoft helped open up space for Google and Facebook to emerge. Today, breaking up big tech companies will clear the way for another generation of innovative tech firms, and stop companies like Amazon from stealing ideas from small outfits and driving them out of business. 112709 Breaking up big banks will reduce the threat of Too Big to Fail and ensure that community banks and credit unions have a better shot to compete. Breaking up Big Ag will make sure that family farmers aren't squeezed and that they have real options for purchasing and selling. I fought for rules that promote fair competition pretty much throughout my career. That was the idea behind the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. 112738 Before the financial crisis, corporations could trick customers with confusing mortgages or credit cards or payday loans. So I proposed a new agency that would enforce some basic rules against cheating, and then I fought to make it real. President Obama signed that agency into law in 2010, and since then, the agency has returned more than $12 billion dollars to people who were cheated. 112806 We can make government work. We can make government work. You know, the credit market has worked better both for customers and for honest businesses. That was also the idea behind my fight to bring low-cost, over-the-counter hearing aids to American families. 112832 On average, a pair of hearing aids in America, costs nearly $5,000 dollars. Now, Medicare and most private insurance plans won't cover hearing aids, so millions of people who need them just do without. But why is the price so high? Because of unnecessary regulations that insulated a handful of corporations from any real competition. 112858 So I led the fight to eliminate these barriers and let people buy hearing aids over the counter. I got the law changed -- yup! (applause) Got it changed and starting soon, Americans will be able to buy hearing aids at local drug stores for a fraction of the price and enjoy the freedom that comes with being able to communicate with the people they love. This is a good thing. 112927 These are the kinds of changes save people money. They spur economic growth and innovation. But every time I talk about them, there's somebody who wants to call me a socialist or a radical, just like they did every time FDR or Barack Obama or any other Democrat fought for real change. Well here's a newsflash: if you defend a corrupt system, where corporate lobbyists write the rules to squeeze out competition and hurt economic growth and undercut workers, you're not a capitalist. You're just a cheater. 113010 And anyone who is running for President and claims to want to help small businesses, wants to raise wages, wants to increase entrepreneurship, or wants to promote economic growth and innovation, can't just suck up to the people who are making huge profits by insulating themselves from competition. 113042 They can't just offer a few small business tax credits or loan programs and ignore concentration. They need to tackle concentrated markets and the power of monopolists -- even if it annoys some Big Tech CEOs. 113100 Now, my plans also promote innovation. As politicians from both parties let big corporations ship millions of jobs overseas and weaken our manufacturing base in market after market, America has lost a lot of its capacity to innovate. 113126 We can turn that around. A Green New Deal is necessary to save our planet -- and it's an enormous economic opportunity. Yup. Think of it this way: as this crisis bears down up on us, there is an emerging $23 trillion dollar global market for green technology. America could dominate that market, and we could develop and produce world-changing technology right here at home. 113204 My Green Manufacturing and climate plans lay out concrete, realistic steps to achieve that goal through a major new federal investment in research and development. Government investments in R&D can boost innovation and growth. And we should be doing way more of it. But unlike the other candidates' plans, my plan requires that anything built using this new research funding from American taxpayers must be manufactured right here in America. 113244 That's how we're going to create the kinds of good manufacturing jobs we've lost in recent decades. Now an independent analysis shows my Green Manufacturing plan boosts growth and creates more than a million good American jobs. My plan is a reminder of how rigged the game has become. Giant multinational corporations want to scoop up all of the benefits of American taxpayer-funded research, but then they want to turn around and manufacture their products overseas. 113319 They constantly ask the government to intervene in markets to protect their interests. They want special rules and they want bailouts when things go bad. And then, when it comes to stepping in to help American workers, those same giant corporations are all about "free market" principles again. Well I'm done with that double standard. 113352 And that brings us to Part 3. Raising incomes and lowering costs for working families. Demand is a critical driver of our economy, and weak demand acts like an anchor. When millions of families are squeezed, they have less money to buy, and that means businesses struggle to sell their goods or services. And when business can't sell, they don't make more investments or increase employment. 113420 Low demand drags down productivity and longer-term growth. And by the way, that is exactly why Donald Trump's huge tax giveaway to big corporations had almost no effect on business investment. Corporations didn't have market reasons, demand reasons, to invest back in their businesses and so they didn't. Instead, giant corporations handed out most of their tax giveaways to wealthy shareholders and to executives. 113452 When I am president, we will transform our economy by putting more money in the pockets of working families. We will raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour, lifting pay for nearly 40 million Americans. We'll increase Social Security and disability benefits by $200 a month for 64 million Americans. 113532 And think about what that means in our economy. That's money people can spend on home repairs, on groceries, on eating out. An independent analysis shows that this would increase long-term growth. What else? We will appoint a Federal Reserve Board that believes in full employment that recognizes that inflation fears have been overblown for years, and someone who is willing to let wages grow. We've got to do this. 113610 Plus, we will tackle family costs directly: housing, child care, education, health care. Think about what that means to our economy: tens of millions of families will have more money to spend. My housing plan will fix the structural supply problem that's driving prices up. We'll build or rehab more than three million new homes, cut rents by 10% and create 1.5 million good new jobs doing it. 113649 An independent economic analysis shows my plan will grow the economy. In most states, child care costs more than tuition at the in-state college. My plan provides for universal child care and early learning for all of our babies, age zero to five. My plan stops the exploitation of the people, disproportionately women of color, who do this work and raises the wages for every childcare worker and preschool teacher in America. 113730 And again, an independent analysis shows my plan will grow the economy. The cost of sending a kid to school after high school is also weighing down on families. Nearly 45 million people have student loan debt, and it can stop them from getting married, from buying homes, or from starting businesses. My plan provides free tuition at public technical schools, two-year colleges, and four-year colleges. It increases the federal investment in high-quality apprenticeships tenfold. 113804 And it cancels student loan debt for 95% of the people who've got it. And once again, experts agree that broad debt cancellation plans like mine will grow the economy. So housing, childcare, college. Health care costs are also soaring. Premiums have gone up more than 20% over the last five years. Half of all American adults report not getting the care they need because of costs. 113842 My health care plan delivers the most financial relief, to the most people, more quickly than any plan proposed by any other candidate. I will immediately act to reduce prices for critical drugs like EpiPens and Insulin, so families don't go broke or have to ration treatment. 113912 I'll give everyone over 50 the chance to join Medicare. Yup. And I'll give everyone in the country, the chance to switch from their current insurance to a Medicare for All option that would be free for 135 million Americans on day one and available to everyone else at a modest cost. And we can do all that without raising taxes on middle class families by one penny. 113953 And in my third year, when we vote to bring everybody into Medicare for All, we will deliver an enormous economic boost for entrepreneurs, for businesses of all sizes, and for our entire economy. Yup. There's another problem we need to attack, and that's the opioid crisis. 114019 It is a humanitarian crisis and an economic crisis as well. Donald Trump's Federal Reserve chair says the economic impact of the opioid crisis is "substantial," as workers with untreated addiction leave the workforce and growth sags. Now I've already passed legislation to tackle the crisis, and advocates and experts have said that my plan for actually ending this crisis "is the only one that really grasps how big the problem is." 114053 Housing. Child care. Education. Health care. A national health crisis. We can make change. Change that will touch the lives of millions of people. Change that will help families build some real security and help their children enjoy more opportunities. And change that will strengthen our economy. All of these plans lift up all working families, but they are also designed to address the shameful racial disparities that persist in our economy. 114134 Tackling the growing Black-White wealth gap is a moral obligation and we must meet it. With Jim Crow laws and legally-approved discrimination and more, government helped create the racial wealth gap in America, and government should help fix it. 114207 And here's the thing, closing the gap will also boost the economy. My student debt cancellation plan helps close the gap, which is one of the reasons why the NAACP supports it. My housing plan helps narrow the gap by including historic down payment assistance for residents of formerly redlined areas. My entrepreneurship plan helps close the gap, the startup capital gap between White and Black entrepreneurs and promotes Black small business. 114241 For decades, some people, including some in our own party, have dismissed these kinds of necessary investments to the middle class as "free stuff." You want to know who is getting free stuff? Amazon, a company that reported more than $10 billion in profits this year and is paying zero dollars in federal income taxes. 114313 Or billionaires, who can watch their stock portfolios rise by hundreds of millions of dollars and pay nothing in additional federal income taxes. Yup. Today's corporations pay a smaller share of federal tax revenue than they have in a generation. In relation to their wealth, the top one tenth of one percent of Americans are projected to pay less than half of what the bottom 99% of Americans will pay in taxes this year. 114357 And, think about that. And pundits and politicians are outraged that my plans are too helpful to hard-working people who are trying to get a foothold in America's middle class? Middle-class families are paying more than their fair share of taxes to keep this country running. They should be able to pay the rent or the mortgage without leaving themselves flat busted. They should be able to get an education without getting drowned in debt. They should be able to go to work without child care costs eating up their entire paychecks. 114438 They should be able to get the health care they need when they're sick without risking bankruptcy. Hard-working people need a government on their side, and we can start by reducing the costs they lay out month after month on housing, child care, education, and health care. 114506 And here's the best part: we can cover the costs of those plans with targeted taxes on the very wealthiest Americans and large corporations. We can do it. And despite the hand-wringing of a seemingly endless parade of outraged billionaires on television, nobody is going to go broke. 114537 So look, I am no fan of Michael Bloomberg that has been made clear. Through the years. But here's the deal. Michael Bloomberg built a successful business. And I am, i want to honor that. I think that's great. You've built a successful business here in america. Good for you. But here's the thing. You built that successful business here in America, you did it in no small part using workers all of us helped pay to educate. 114612 You did it at least in part getting your goods to market on roads and bridges all of us help pay for. You did it at least in part protected by police and firefighters all of us help pay the salaries for. And here's the thing. We're americans. We are glad to do it. We want to make those investments. But what we have to be able to do is to say when you make it big, when you make it really big, when you make top one tenth of one---big in America, pitch in two cents. 114647 So that everyone else has a chance to make it in this country. A wealth tax on millionaires and billionaires isn't about being punitive or denigrating success. It's about laying the foundation for future successes. It's about making sure that the wealthy don't pick up the ladder after them. 114722 And it's about building a stronger economy with more growth. We've seen enough evidence that helping billionaires buy more paintings and more yachts doesn't help grow the economy. Real growth comes from putting a wealth tax of a few cents on billionaires' paintings and yachts so that we can provide universal child care, cancel student loan debts, and make other investments in hard-working people in this country. 114801 So how do we get all of that done? Well, I've got a plan for that. So to turn my plans into reality, I'll use the same inside-outside approach that great Democrats like FDR used to pass sweeping change. Right now, we're building a grassroots movement to win on Election Day in 2020, but after election day, no one gets to go home. 114831 I want that movement to stay in the fight. I want to keep growing that movement, so that together we can push for the kinds of big, structural change that this campaign is all about. We'll use every tool possible to fight for this change. We'll fight for comprehensive anti-corruption rules to clean up Washington. 114857 We'll fight for comprehensive filibuster reform so that Mitch McConnell and big corporations don't get a veto over our plans. And we'll stand ready to use the same 50-vote reconciliation process that Republicans used to attack Obamacare and to pass their trillion-dollar tax giveaway to the rich. Only we're going to use those tools to accomplish the reverse set of policies. 114934 To raise taxes on the wealthy, to lower taxes--costs on everyone else, and to invest in green manufacturing and other industries that create good American jobs. Wherever possible, I want to work with Congress on new laws. But I don't overlook what's already available. Previous Congresses have already passed a lot of laws that a President can use now to help out our families. 115010 And I'll use those laws, starting on day one. I am grateful to President Obama for appointing me as an Assistant to the President, where I helped set up the CFPB. And later, when I became a Senator, I used that executive experience to push our federal agencies to use their existing legal authorities to help working families, on everything from student loan debt cancellation to protecting veterans from mortgage scams. 115043 My plans lay out the actions I will take using the power of the presidency to raise wages, to protect workers, to fight climate change, and more. Now will I have a magic wand to enact my full agenda? Of course not. No President does. I know I will have to compromise, but that's not where we start. 115113 We start with the work of mobilizing a movement, building real leverage, and fighting hard. And I know we won't win every fight. But I can promise that we will hit the ground running using every tool available to build a government that works not just for those at the top but a government that works for everyone. 115144 According to a recent survey, only 17% of Americans trust their government to do the right thing at least most of the time. Huge numbers of Democrats, Republicans, and independents understand that Washington is captured by the wealthy and the well-connected. As a candidate, Donald Trump talked a big game and promised to drain the swamp. And then he broke that promise. 115214 In fact, his Presidency is the most corrupt in modern history. His Administration is stacked with former lobbyists handing out favors to big corporations. Dozens of people who have worked with him are facing investigations, have pleaded guilty, or are already serving jail time. And the President himself is now staring down the barrel of impeachment for abusing his power. 115246 AUDIENCE MEMBER>> Lock him up. WARREN>> Yup -- Nope. Americans of all political stripes are looking for a candidate who is serious about fighting Washington corruption. They know that until someone is willing to do that, nothing else will get done. Demonstrating a real commitment to reform is our best general election contrast with a corrupt President. 115320 It's how we win moderates, independents, and disaffected Republicans. And it's how we govern successfully. But we're nearly a year into the Democratic primary and no other candidate has put out anything close to my sweeping plan to root out Washington corruption. Now, some candidates have at least put forward campaign finance reform plans. But if you want to know about a candidate's commitment to reform, don't just look at what they say they will do - look at what they're doing right now. 115357 Most candidates haven't disclosed the names of their bundlers or finance committees. They are spending time in fundraisers with high-dollar donors, selling access to their time for money. Some of them have spent months blocking reporters from entering those fancy, closed-door affairs. We know that one Democratic candidate walked into a room of wealthy donors this year to promise that "nothing would fundamentally change" if he's elected President. 115428 We know that another calls the people who raise a quarter of a million dollars for him his "National Investors Circle," and he offers them regular phone calls and special access. When a candidate brags about how beholden he feels to a group of wealthy investors, our democracy is in serious trouble. 115458 And what do the wealthiest donors want in return? Consider just one example: ambassadorships. The President's impeachment right now, is centered on the shady actions of Gordon Sondland, America's ambassador to the European Union. Now Mr. Sondland had one qualification for ambassador: he wrote a check for a million dollars to Donald Trump's inauguration. 115528 It shouldn't be hard for candidates in a Democratic primary to at least commit to not auctioning off their own ambassadorships to the highest bidder, but most of them have refused. Look, I don't ask for a thousand dollar contribution in exchange for a picture. I'm closing in on 100,000 selfies for a grand total of zero dollars. Yeah. 115602 I don't do closed door fundraisers with big donors. I don't do special call time with people who raise a quarter million dollars. I don't sell access to my time. And I've said out loud and in public, where any donor can hear it, that I won't auction off ambassadorships to the highest bidder. These are commitments that are going to cause some big donors to stay away, and that may be why most candidates in this primary are not making those commitments. 115632 I get it. We are all constrained by the current system. Nobody is perfect, and nobody is pure. And there's no question that any Democrat running for President would be a whole lot better than Donald Trump. And I understand the practical and political costs of pushing for real reform. 115701 But voters will not trust a candidate who won't make a single difficult decision that might cut down on the access and influence of wealthy donors. And voters will be right. 115721 In 2020, we can run and win on a progressive economic agenda because a progressive economic agenda is America's agenda. Look at it this way, a majority of Democrats, independents and Republicans support my wealth tax plan. A majority of Democrats, independents, and Republicans support my plan to increase Social Security benefits. 115758 And a majority of Democrats, independents, and Republicans support anti-corruption reforms. And while there are candidates in this primary who are trying mightily to convince Democratic primary voters that this kind of popular agenda will somehow make it harder to beat Donald Trump, do you know who disagrees with that conclusion? Donald Trump. 115828 Just consider two examples from recent days. First, some candidates have suggested that my broad student loan debt cancellation plan, which is popular and would be a huge boon to our economy, will somehow "alienate" people. Meanwhile, back in the real world, Trump is reportedly so worried about the appeal of this proposal that he's sent his aides scrambling to come up with some knock-off version that he can claim. 115901 And it's the same with the wealth tax. Trump launched an outlandish false attack on it last week in an anti-Semitic rant, because he knows as well as I do that asking billionaires to pitch in a few pennies is reasonable and popular. And let's be honest, he's just one more rich guy who will go to extraordinary lengths not to have to pay more taxes. 115931 My agenda is compelling to voters because it speaks to real problems in their lives. I've done 179 town halls in 28 states and Puerto Rico, and whether it's in West Virginia or Alabama or Iowa or right here in New Hampshire, the people I meet want real solutions. They are looking for candidates who can make a clear case for what's broken and how to fix it. 120008 Now, for years, establishment insiders in both parties ignored what was happening to our economy. They ignored the growing insecurities and anxieties of working people. They called for more nibbling around the edges, for smaller and smaller solutions that failed to match the scale of our growing problems. 120030 Every day, you see it on cable news and in the op-ed pages. The same nibbling around the edges, the same attacks on big ideas. The choice for the Democratic Party in this primary is the same choice it faces in every primary: Will we bet on more of the same, or will we bet on change? Will we bet on small ideas, or will we bet on big, structural change? 120101 If we are going to build an economy that works for everyone, and if we are going to win a change election instead of once again getting run over by a change election, we must stand up to those with power and fight for the American people. 120127 I'm running for President because I believe the American people are smart and that when we offer good plans that will deliver more financial security, more economic growth, more opportunity, more freedom, to all of our people, then we will win and we will make real change in this country we love so much. ####
WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER / CLEAN SWITCHED P2 / HD
SWITCHED POOL FEED WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER REMARKS W/ PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA AND JOEL MCHALE 21:40:38 WHCA President: Everybody have a seat. 21:40:48 Rest your feet. Ladies and gentlemen, we will 21:40:56 begin the program. We will start tonight with one 21:41:00 of our favorite parts, which is the awarding of our awards for 21:41:06 excellence in journalism. To help us with that is a valued 21:41:10 member of our board, Doug mills. A terrific photojournalists. 21:41:26 The first award of the night, the judges chose to winners this 21:41:34 year which recognizes excellence in white house coverage. 21:41:38 The winners are Brihanna Keeler. The next award recognizes 21:42:41 excellent work in both print and broadcast. 21:42:48 The print winner is peter baker of the New York times. 21:42:49 [Applause] And the broadcast winner is 21:42:57 peter Mayer of CBS news. [Applause] 21:43:30 The next award recognizes coverage of news or national and 21:43:38 regional significance. The judges chose to winners this 21:43:41 year. Megan Toney at Reuters. 21:43:52 [Applause] And the Center for Public 21:43:59 Integrity and Brian Ross of ABC News. [Brian Ross & Matt Mosk accept award] 21:44:08 [Applause] Ladies and gentlemen, we have 21:44:53 one more award. We normally just award those 21:44:58 three, but as part of the centennial of our association, I 21:45:00 am happy to announce that we have created the president's 21:45:02 award. It is an honor for exceptional 21:45:07 service to the members and groups of the white house 21:45:10 correspondents association and I am delighted to announce that 21:45:11 this first recipient will be George Condon junior. 21:45:16 [Applause] Thank you. 21:46:09 I want to talk for a minute about the video we are going to 21:46:13 show. Over the years, we have had a 21:46:16 lot of very funny videos. They have all been a lot of fun. 21:46:25 Because it was our centennial, I made a different choice. 21:46:29 I wanted to have a video about us, the white house 21:46:31 correspondents. Unfortunately, I had a grand 21:46:36 vision to do a lot and I found I was going to be -- it was going 21:46:40 to be a little more expensive than I hoped and it would take 21:46:43 money out of our scholarship fund. 21:46:47 Fortunately, in walked a woman from the A&E network eager to 21:46:50 talk to us about our scholarships. 21:46:53 We met with her. I said, you own the history 21:46:58 channel. I asked them if they would do a 21:47:03 video and the history of the presidency in the press and they 21:47:06 were very kind. I would like to show you that 21:47:11 video. [Applause] Video on history of the WHCA produced by A&E and voiced by Diane Sawyer 21:47:16 Thomas Jefferson said, a 21:47:22 government without a vibrant media of all sorts is not an 21:47:26 option for the United States of America. 21:47:29 They are the watchdogs, the historians, the daily observers 21:47:33 at the white house, an unofficial assembly of 21:47:36 journalists assigned to watch with clear eyes and breaking 21:47:40 news. They are the white house 21:47:43 correspondents association. Have you got an extra camera 21:47:49 in case the lights go out? Is the sound ok? 21:47:53 The founding fathers wrote this job into the constitution, 21:47:59 freedom of the press is in there for a reason. 21:48:02 Both houses of congress have had having a wonderful time. 21:48:09 I think the enduring principle remains that we exist 21:48:13 and we work to keep the eyes of the free press on the government 21:48:15 and on the president. Sometimes you do not like the 21:48:20 decisions I make and sometimes I do not like the way you write 21:48:22 about the decisions. I view the association as the 21:48:28 shop steward for correspondence. We deal with a lot of 21:48:34 logistics. We are the ones working on who 21:48:35 has a seat in the briefing room. That is beautiful. 21:48:46 One of the great things about our job is being there when 21:48:48 history is being made. The evolution of the presidency 21:49:05 has gone hand-in-hand with the evolution of the white house 21:49:06 press association and the relationship of the press to 21:49:07 politics. The presidency 21:49:09 has gone hand-in-hand with the evolution of the white house 21:49:10 in letting folks know what the 21:49:11 white house is all about. Did you make a mistake, sir? 21:49:13 I am not taking any more questions. 21:49:14 I always try to put myself in their position. 21:49:17 They have a difficult job to do. With every president, the 21:49:28 relationship is constantly changing, but there is an 21:49:32 unchanging quest for the correspondents association and 21:49:34 it is a simple word -- access. We have to continue for those 21:49:42 doors and windows to remain open so that you can see an account 21:49:45 of history. We are not through this. 21:49:48 -- Period. We cannot go back to a more 21:49:58 polarized world where somebody can put the hammer down, this is 21:50:03 the way it is going to be and you cannot say anything. 21:50:06 If you try to, I will cut you off or put you in jail. 21:50:10 People have to be informed. What is the matter with these 21:50:16 clowns? Are there going to be 21:50:17 governments to try to be more insulated? 21:50:20 It is important to push back on that. 21:50:23 The association is a good for him for reminding reporters that 21:50:27 they also work for the public. They also have responsibility to 21:50:34 the American people. Press is an institutional 21:50:38 part of the white house and should always be an 21:50:40 institutional part. Every government needs a 21:50:41 watchdog. We never win, we never lose, 21:50:44 it is just a constant struggle. Like so many of the struggles 21:50:52 inside the beltway, this one started as a turf battle. 21:50:54 In 1914 on capitol hill. All of the press conferences 21:50:59 were donated by the violence in Mexico. 21:51:02 There was no controls over who attended those press 21:51:05 conferences. Congress tried to move in on the 21:51:10 white house. They wanted to become the one 21:51:15 that would help resident Woodrow Wilson start having regular 21:51:17 press conferences and selecting who would attend. 21:51:20 A select group of journalists was formed. 21:51:30 Looking back 100 years and think the pictures and hearing 21:51:30 Looking back 100 years and think the pictures and hearing 21:51:32 The organization was started by a group of white men, not women, 21:51:36 not minorities, but a group of white men. 21:51:44 Franklin Roosevelt was the first president to allow a black 21:51:45 correspondent into a white house press conference. 21:51:51 Harry McAlpin became the first African-American white 21:51:58 house correspondent. In his honor, the association 21:51:59 has established a scholarship for young and aspiring 21:52:04 journalists. We always had women members. 21:52:10 But we would not let them attend their dinner. 21:52:12 The general attitude was this was a stag event. 21:52:17 A sense that women journalists almost did not 21:52:19 belong. It was not until three women 21:52:24 reporters on including Helen Thomas, and to John F. Kennedy 21:52:29 and said, we would like you to help us get into this dinner. 21:52:32 Asked Kennedy said, tell me I'm not attending the dinner unless 21:52:36 women are allowed. All of a sudden, it changed. 21:52:41 We do nothing but body jokes now. 21:52:46 Well 99% of the correspondence job is working 21:52:53 the beat, there is 190 year when serious Washington -- one night 21:52:59 a year when serious Washington can make fun of itself. 21:53:02 We started the dinner in the 1920's. 21:53:06 It was not televised in the did not have Hollywood celebrities, 21:53:09 but it did have inner chambers. -- Entertainers. 21:53:16 Somebody doing animal impressions. 21:53:19 Now we have one entertainer. I was toying with the idea of 21:53:24 having a juggler. What is the key to navigating 21:53:27 the treacherous waters of Washington humor? 21:53:32 Winging it. Improvise a lot and see what 21:53:38 happens. Three models, one who do 21:53:41 politics and get it right. Anyone I'm excited to roast? 21:53:47 If Putin is there. I could say something really 21:53:56 dirty, but I probably shouldn't. And people who avoid politics 21:53:59 like the plague. Mif little guy? 21:54:04 -- Am I a political guy? You're supposed to keep it 21:54:11 clean. You're supposed to keep it 21:54:13 self-deprecating. Frank Sinatra, Jimmy Durante, 21:54:17 Fanny Brice. This year, it is me. 21:54:21 What did you know that the president will be there? -- Did 21:54:26 you know that the president will be there? 21:54:28 He is opening for you. It is the place where a 21:54:35 president can bring down the house. 21:54:37 Known as the prom of Washington, a term coined by 21:54:42 political reporters who clearly never had the chance to go to an 21:54:44 actual prom. Presents will think, this is 21:54:50 the chance to make fun of the press. 21:54:52 That is not what you do. You go to make fun of yourself. 21:54:57 You have to show that you can take it. 21:54:59 It is not easy to do standup comedy at one of these dinners. 21:55:03 Jay Leno was here. We give hope to gray-haired 21:55:10 chunky baby boomers everywhere. We don't want people to be 21:55:16 insulted. We want people to be teased. 21:55:18 You not make fun of the press because they cannot take it. 21:55:24 They don't want to hear it. Laughter aside, the first and 21:55:30 foremost mission of the association dinner is to promote 21:55:33 journalism, education for the scholarship fund. 21:55:39 Your attendance allows us to give back to the students. 21:55:42 As this dinner has grown and grown over the years, it has 21:55:46 generated more revenue for this very important scholarship. 21:55:51 The main reason we're there is for the scholarship and to 21:55:55 help these young people. They are remarkable folks full 21:55:57 of energy. We want to welcome Curtis 21:56:01 Macleod. It gives them hope to say, 21:56:07 there is a resource for me. Are provided such an 21:56:13 unforgettable experience for me. It was such a tremendous honor. 21:56:19 Still a future in journalism. It is going through a lot of 21:56:22 changes. I hope it'll be around for 21:56:28 another 100 years. Whether it is Twitter or the 21:56:35 typewriter, correspondents association continues to deliver 21:56:39 its message, covering the white house, standing century, sending 21:56:42 out the news in an ever changing media landscape. 21:56:46 We have seen the start of radio, we have seen the advent 21:56:52 of television. We have seen internet as a tool. 21:57:00 The white house has a television -- a telephone system 21:57:02 that has been there since president Carter. 21:57:07 One thing I often like to say is that speed kills because we 21:57:12 are racing faster and faster to get raw information in front of 21:57:15 the public. Reporters are under such 21:57:19 stress from their editors. Reporters cannot wait and can 21:57:25 not digest anymore. The point of view from the 21:57:28 reader. Is it accurate? 21:57:32 We are dealing with multiple time Zones, everything is in 21:57:36 real time. The questions we ask are still 21:57:39 the same. It is important that there is a 21:57:44 hodgepodge because it is not just all about that one story. 21:57:48 It is about stories around the world. 21:57:53 That brings together this one group. 21:57:56 I hope that 100 years from now and we are celebrating the 21:58:00 next anniversary, we will still have a room at the white house 21:58:05 with people asking the president or his staff questions every day 21:58:08 and explaining it to people. The dissemination of the news 21:58:11 will change, the media will change, but the journalism will 21:58:14 not change. This is a great window on the 21:58:18 world. Our democracy does not work 21:58:21 until -- unless -- if you do not have that interaction, you do 21:58:27 not have a true rocker see. -- Democracy. End of video 21:58:33 [Applause] WHCA President: I want to take an extra 21:58:44 second and thank Nancy, who is the CEO of the A&E networks. 21:58:50 [Applause] Their crews worked on this for 21:58:55 months at no cost out of our scholarship fund and it was a 21:59:01 great service to our association. 21:59:04 I want to thank Diane sawyer who agreed to do the voiceover for 21:59:06 us. [Applause] 21:59:09 I want to thank politico who lent us some of their photos and 21:59:14 I want to thank our colleagues who participated, all of the 21:59:23 press secretaries who agreed to be interviewed, and president 21:59:25 Obama and Clinton, who agreed to be interviewed for that. 21:59:28 Thank you very much. [Applause] 21:59:35 I want to talk for a minute just about the state of play. 21:59:39 I want to thank my family. My wife, Denise. 21:59:44 I sons, jack, Jim, and Ryan for all of their help and support, 21:59:50 particularly for this last year but for the last Wendy five. 21:59:55 -- 25. I want to thank our Washington 21:59:58 bureau and their commitment to journalism in Washington and 22:00:04 around the world. It allows us to keep doing work 22:00:05 that allows is -- needs to be done. 22:00:07 I want to thank my colleagues Lesley Clark and David Goldstein 22:00:16 because they have basically covered it well I turned this 22:00:18 job into a full-time job and they have done all the briefings 22:00:22 and travel I have not been able to do and I could not have done 22:00:25 it without them. I want to thank 22:00:26 Our board -- this board. Our board is a collection of the 22:00:35 most terrific people you ever see. 22:00:36 They had a pool issue trying to get into a certain country and 22:00:42 three or four members on the other side of the planet and 22:00:43 some of us here working around the clock with the white house 22:00:45 and they keep the wheels going so we can do our jobs. 22:00:49 I want to particularly thank Christi Parsons. 22:00:53 She is our vice president this year. 22:00:54 [Applause] 22:00:59 She does more work in keeping the pool moving -- and we all 22:01:06 know what the pool is, the group that gets closest and keeps 22:01:09 their eyes on the president -- it is sometimes a 22:01:13 three-dimensional chess board and she does a wonderful job. 22:01:14 She will be our president next year and we are in very good 22:01:17 hands. I want to quickly think George. 22:01:21 You don't hear him -- here his name a lot. 22:01:28 He is our attorney. He works pro Bono. 22:01:29 [Applause] He is a terrific first amendment 22:01:35 attorney and has been the liaison between us and the rest 22:01:36 of the journalism community in some of the where we have done 22:01:40 on access. We will continue on with 22:01:44 journalism schools. Our friend Lucy is with us 22:01:50 tonight. George has done a terrific job. 22:01:51 Thank you, George. And I want to thank Julie 22:01:54 Lister. Those of us involved at avenue 22:02:01 known Julie Liston for a long time. 22:02:05 We put this dinner on with a paid staff of one. 22:02:07 She does it with the help of some friend, or Dave -- her 22:02:12 brave husband, Dave Liston. We could not have this dinner 22:02:17 without Julie Liston. This year I kept piling extra 22:02:24 work for her for the centennial. We have added panels that we 22:02:29 normally do not do. We would not have made it to 100 22:02:32 years without Julie Liston. I want to thank my peers in the 22:02:37 white house press corps for this honor. 22:02:38 It has been a great thing. I want to take a minute and 22:02:41 introduce some people in the room. 22:02:42 I would like you to stand and stay standing. 22:02:47 Hold on for a second. I want all the past presidents 22:02:51 of the white house correspondents association to 22:02:52 please stand and stay standing. [Applause] 22:02:57 Hold off. Stay standing. 22:03:03 I would like everyone who has ever been elected or served on 22:03:06 our board to stand and stay standing. 22:03:07 [Applause] I would like everyone who covers 22:03:11 the beach today, goes to the briefings and the trips, sits in 22:03:15 the pool, to please stand. [Applause] 22:03:17 I would like everyone who has ever covered a briefing at the 22:03:22 white house and worked this beat to please stand. 22:03:25 [Applause] And finally, I would like our 22:03:29 scholarship winners and all of the journalism students in the 22:03:33 room to please stand. [Applause] 22:03:39 We welcome all our guests to this dinner. 22:03:44 There has been a lot of attention paid to the people 22:03:46 that come here and we welcome them all, the stars of fashion 22:03:50 or sports or entertainment, but ladies and gentlemen, these are 22:03:54 the white house correspondents. These are the people whose name 22:03:56 is on the dinner. [Applause] 22:04:04 We refer to it in a little bit individual -- in the video. 22:04:09 We are going through a major and significant change in the media. 22:04:11 First, as you notice from the old actress -- old pictures, 22:04:16 they were all white men, white presidents, too. 22:04:22 Now our correspondent organization is a half women. 22:04:27 Our board is half women. We have faces of color. 22:04:30 We have new media all over the room. 22:04:33 Olivia Knox from Yahoo! News is on our board. 22:04:38 This year, we added for the first time to the press pool a 22:04:42 gay newspaper. We have new voices. 22:04:46 For the first time ever, we had a foreign reporter joining us on 22:04:49 air force one for a trip. In our briefing room, if you 22:04:53 listen, you will hear foreign accents asking questions of our 22:04:56 government. You will hear a Russian accent. 22:04:59 You will hear other accents. You will not hear that and many 22:05:03 places in the world. This is America at its best. 22:05:06 [Applause] There are sometimes differing 22:05:11 views of what this free press can do great there is the noble 22:05:13 view. He president referred to Thomas 22:05:16 Jefferson in our video and we share that view. 22:05:19 Sometimes, the view of the people on the receiving end -- I 22:05:21 found a quote from the late actress grace Kelly. 22:05:26 She said, the freedom of press works in such a way -- there is 22:05:29 not really much freedom from the press. 22:05:31 That is true. We try to keep as many eyes as 22:05:38 possible on them. They do not always want us in 22:05:40 the room. This has never been truer than 22:05:42 today. A changing media gives us more 22:05:46 tools but allows the government to send its own messages direct 22:05:51 to people in ways that we find challenging. 22:05:54 It is certainly a thing president assesses to the 22:05:59 president would have envied -- predecessors to the president 22:06:05 would have envied and liked themselves. 22:06:07 We like their photographers and video crews. 22:06:08 We do not want to kick them out. We just want to be in the room, 22:06:11 too. [Applause] 22:06:15 When we are all paying attention to the government and asking 22:06:18 questions, we are all the better for it and it is a bragging 22:06:21 point for democracy. I want to turn for a minute and 22:06:25 talk a little bit about Harry McAlpin. 22:06:27 It was seven years ago he walked into the oval office and he was 22:06:32 the first lack reporter -- black reporter ever to attend a 22:06:38 presidential press conference. I am very happy to have you 22:06:41 here. Not everyone was so happy. 22:06:46 This association was not at all happy that he walked into the 22:06:48 oval office. We had denied membership to 22:06:50 blacks. We had rigged the role so they 22:06:55 could not participate. FDR did that on his own. 22:07:01 Tonight, we are announcing and creating a new scholarship, the 22:07:06 Harry McAlpin scholarship. [Applause] 22:07:15 By dedicating one of her scholarships to him, we not only 22:07:17 denies his historic role and one that we hope will inspire young 22:07:23 journalist, we acknowledge our own history. 22:07:25 Harry went on after his white house years. 22:07:28 That was just part of his story. He was a war or responded in the 22:07:32 south pacific at a time when the military was still segregated. 22:07:36 He went to law school, moved to Kentucky, led the NAACP there, 22:07:43 marched with Martin Luther king on the capital. 22:07:49 Harry died in 1975 never having gain membership to this 22:07:53 organization. Today, we possibly --'S to 22:07:57 mislead -- posthumously award him membership. 22:08:05 [Applause] Sherman, his son, when you stand 22:08:13 -- will you stand? He is here with his wife. 22:08:17 Joann, what you stand? And his daughter, Sasha. 22:08:22 Please make them feel welcome. [Applause] 22:08:41 We will present that and the scholarships. 22:08:45 To do that, April Ryan will be coming up and be joined by the 22:08:48 first lady, Michelle Obama. [Applause] 22:08:54 Good evening, everyone. What a wonderful evening for the 22:09:03 centennial scholarship awards. Are you having a good time 22:09:05 tonight? [Applause] 22:09:09 [Laughter] I just found out tonight that 22:09:16 this lady has jokes. That is all right. 22:09:20 Without further ado, we would like to bring forth our 22:09:22 scholarship centennial awardees and we would like to start with 22:09:26 the Harry McAlpin junior scholarship. 22:09:29 Yes, you may clap. [Applause] 22:09:32 It is a one-time award of $7,000. 22:09:35 This year's winner is a student from Howard university in 22:09:41 Washington DC. Let us welcome to the stage 22:09:48 Glenn hill of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 22:09:49 [Applause] [Laughter] 22:10:17 Once again, Glenn hill of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 22:10:20 Howard university. [Applause] 22:10:28 Now it is time for the white house correspondents association 22:10:31 scholarship prize. It is a one-time award of 22:10:34 $7,000. This year's recipients are two 22:10:38 students from Howard university in Washington, D C. 22:10:41 Victoria walker of Virginia. [Applause] 22:11:15 Next, the Deborah Warren scholarship. 22:11:16 The reciprocal of this Deborah Warren scholarship art two 22:11:21 current students from the McDill school of journalism. 22:11:31 Caroline of north Hanover Massachusetts. 22:11:37 [Applause] And Karen Galbreth of Illinois. 22:11:47 [Applause] Next, from Columbia university, 22:12:02 New York, New York. [Applause] 22:12:06 The white house correspondents association awarded a $5,000 22:12:09 tuition grant in 2013 to 2014 to Dina from Cairo, Egypt from 22:12:21 Columbia university. [Applause] 22:12:28 Also, the university of Missouri. 22:12:30 The white house correspondents association supported seven 22:12:35 graduate students for $2500 per student to study in Washington 22:12:42 DC for a semester as part of the university of mystery Bosch 22:12:44 established -- Missouri josh well-established program. 22:12:52 The recipients are Kevin Dubois. Philip Hawkins of Oklahoma City, 22:13:03 Oklahoma. Yi of Hong Kong. 22:13:16 Jenny rice of San Diego, California. 22:13:25 Mulin Jeong of China. The white house correspondents 22:13:41 association supports a student at the McDill school of 22:13:42 journalism with a $5,000 gift for a postgraduate student in 22:13:48 the government and journalism tracker -- track. 22:13:56 That goes to Brian to Santos from northwestern university. 22:14:09 The white house correspondents association supports a student 22:14:10 at the university of California at earthly to a $5,000 gift 22:14:14 towards a postgraduate degree for a student in the government 22:14:18 and public affairs supporting track. 22:14:22 That is Jennifer chase. I'm sorry if I am messing your 22:14:25 name up. Of Sacramento, California. 22:14:31 [Applause] The university of California at 22:14:38 Berkeley. On the university -- 22:14:45 next, the university of Maryland journalism college fund, some 22:14:49 own Thomas -- Simone Thomas. [Applause] 22:14:59 Those are our own warnings for this evening. 22:15:03 [Applause] Let's -- awardings for this 22:15:11 evening. Let's give them a big round of 22:15:12 applause. [Applause] 22:15:16 Have a great evening and laugh hard and a lot. 22:15:21 [Applause] Thank you, April. 22:15:28 Thank you, Mrs. Obama. If you have a glass near, I 22:15:32 would like you to raise a glass with me. 22:15:36 I would like to propose a toast. Our one official toast of the 22:15:41 evening, to the president of the United States of America. 22:15:42 [Cheers] And finally, for me, I would 22:15:53 like to introduce the president of the United States by 22:15:59 introducing the vice president of the United States. Veep Video with Joe Biden and Julia Louis Dreyfus 22:16:06 [Laughter] Hello? 22:16:16 Joanna? What are you doing? 22:16:19 I thought you were the president. 22:16:23 Listen, are you going to this boring dinner tonight? 22:16:29 No, I'm not going. I have been there once. 22:16:35 It is a bunch of politicians trying to explain politics to 22:16:38 Hollywood. Who wants to see David 22:16:41 Gregory crying in the corner all night? 22:16:43 Do you want to come and pick me -- 22:16:46 [ horn honks] Up? 22:16:53 Yellow? Seriously, yellow? 22:16:56 Get in the car. Is anybody looking? 22:17:07 Check for me. I can remember that. 22:17:13 Oh, yeah. Shh. 22:17:19 Whoa. Don't touch the desk. 22:17:25 , On. Let's get something to eat. 22:17:30 This is good. My granddaughters like the 22:17:32 sprinkles. This is like the sweetest 22:17:35 thing you can get in the executive branch. 22:17:36 Hey, guys. What are you doing? 22:17:39 Nothing. What is in your mouth? 22:17:43 Carrots. Haven't you guys listen to 22:17:48 anything I have said about healthy eating? 22:17:50 Handed over. Hand it over. 22:17:55 Let's move. Ok. 22:18:00 Busted. You can say that again. 22:18:09 I just forgot my purse. I'm sure there are reasons in 22:18:19 here. It's a fruit. 22:18:24 Plus, it is more than they give you at that correspondents 22:18:26 dinner. Plus, I work out every day. 22:18:28 Sure you do. I do too. 22:18:30 Do you want to arm wrestle? I don't really work out. 22:18:35 I didn't think so. Where we headed next? 22:18:41 We can write any headline we want? 22:18:42 Knock yourself out. Go to it. 22:18:45 The headline I would like to write is Selena miles, voted in 22:18:52 as president. All in good time. 22:18:57 Yes, we can all look directly into the camera, and Kevin. 22:19:06 hi, Joe. 22:19:31 What are you doing here? Getting my tattoo done. 22:19:34 You know the difference between the tattoo and the Koch 22:19:39 brothers? They are both painful, but you 22:19:42 can get rid of a tattoo. All right, let's do it. 22:19:47 Bring it on. 22:19:55 Oh, yeah. Bring it on. 22:20:01 Hey, girl. Hey j-dog, are you going to 22:20:09 this dinner tonight? Hell no I'm not going. 22:20:16 I have important things to do in the capital. 22:20:18 Ok. I need to go to the dinner. 22:20:25 I am not really a VP but you are. 22:20:27 I am an actress from Hollywood. I know. 22:20:28 Can you give me a ride? The secret service does not 22:20:34 let me drive off the property. That make sense. 22:20:35 We can get a cab. I've got my 22:20:42 I have got my dress and this hair. 22:20:46 Things a million, Joe. Good luck. 22:20:49 [applause] President Barack Obama: 22:21:17 Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States. 22:21:23 [Applause] Thank you. 22:21:34 Thank you so much. Thank you very much. 22:21:40 Thank you. .Gif -- thank U so much. 22:21:48 Everyone, have a seat. Before I get started, can we get 22:21:52 the new presidential set up out here? 22:21:55 [laughter] 22:22:08 It has worked before. [Laughter] 22:22:11 That is more like it. It is great to be back. 22:22:16 What a year, huh? I usually start these dinners 22:22:22 with a few self-deprecating jokes. 22:22:24 After my stellar 2013, what can I possibly talk about? 22:22:28 [Laughter] I admit it -- last year was 22:22:36 rough. Sheesh. 22:22:38 [Laughter] At one point, things got so bad, 22:22:44 the 47% called Mitt Romney to apologize. 22:22:48 [Laughter] Of course, we rolled out 22:22:58 healthcare.gov. That could have gone better. 22:23:01 [Laughter] In 2008, my slogan was "Yes, we 22:23:10 can." In 2013, my slogan was "Control, 22:23:20 alt, delete." [Laughter] 22:23:24 On the plus side, they did turn the launch of healthcare.gov 22:23:27 into the year's biggest movies. [Laughter] 22:23:39 But rather than dwell on the past and I would like to pivot 22:23:42 to this news. Let's welcome our headliner this 22:23:47 evening, Joel McHale. [Applause] 22:23:53 On "Community," jolt plays a self-obsessed narcissist, so 22:24:01 this dinner must be a real change of pace for you. 22:24:02 [Laughter] I want to thank the white house 22:24:08 correspondents association for hosting us here tonight. 22:24:10 I am happy to be here, even though I am a little jetlagged 22:24:14 for my trip to Malaysia. The links we have to go to 22:24:17 get CNN coverage these days. [Laughter] 22:24:24 [Applause] I think they are still searching 22:24:34 for their tables. [Laughter] 22:24:36 [Applause] Msnbc is here. 22:24:45 [Applause] They are a little overwhelm the. 22:24:50 They have never seen an audience this big before. 22:24:51 [Laughter] Look, everyone is trying to keep 22:25:03 up with this incredibly fast-changing media landscape. 22:25:07 For example, I got a lot of grief on cable news for 22:25:10 promoting Obamacare to young people on "Between two ferns." 22:25:16 That is what don't people like to watch. 22:25:22 To be fair, I am not the first person on television between two 22:25:25 potted plants. [Laughter] 22:25:27 [Applause] Sometimes I do feel disrespected 22:25:42 by you reporters. But that is ok. 22:25:48 Seattle Seahawks' cornerback Richard Sherman is here tonight 22:25:52 and he gave me a great tip on how to handle it. 22:25:58 Jake tapper, don't you ever talk about me like that. 22:26:01 I am the best president in the game. 22:26:04 Was that good? [Laughter] 22:26:08 A little bit more feeling next time? 22:26:09 [Laughter] What we are talking sports, just 22:26:15 last month, a wonderful story. An American won the Boston 22:26:22 marathon for the first time in 30 years. 22:26:23 [Applause] Which was inspiring and only 22:26:30 fair since a Kenyan has been president for the last six. 22:26:40 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:26:43 We have to even things out. We have other athletes here 22:26:50 tonight, like Olympic gold medal snowboarders Jamie Anderson is 22:26:54 here. We are proud of her. 22:26:58 Michele and I watch the live experience we cannot believe 22:27:05 what they do. Death-defying feats. 22:27:23 As a general rule, things don't end well if the senate starts. 22:27:32 " Let me tell you something I know about the Negro." 22:27:39 You don't really need to hear the rest of it. 22:27:41 [Laughter] Just a tip for you. 22:27:50 Don't start your sentence that way. 22:27:52 [Laughter] Speaking of Rand Paul, -- 22:28:06 [laughter] Colorado legalized marijuana 22:28:14 this year. An interesting social 22:28:15 experiment. I do hope it does not lead to a 22:28:20 bunch of paranoid people that thinks the federal government is 22:28:24 out to get them and listening to their phone calls. 22:28:25 [Laughter] That would be a problem. 22:28:27 [Laughter] And speaking of secure -- 22:28:33 speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a cable 22:28:39 here tonight, but they use the shadowy right-wing organization 22:28:43 as a front. Hello, Fox News. 22:28:45 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:28:47 I'm just getting. Let's face it, fox, you'll miss 22:28:53 me when I'm gone. [Laughter] 22:28:56 It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary 22:28:58 was born in Kenya. [Laughter] 22:29:02 [Applause] A lot of us really are concerned 22:29:14 about the weight the money is influencing our politics. 22:29:20 I remember a super pack with me buying a Marlboro 100s instead 22:29:25 of regulars. [Laughter] 22:29:30 Now that it is 2014, Washington is obsessed on the midterms. 22:29:34 Folks are saying that with my sagging poll Numbers, my fellow 22:29:39 democrats don't really want me campaigning with them. 22:29:44 I don't think that is true, although I did notice the other 22:29:47 day that Sasha needed a 22:30:25 I understand America's teenage boys are signing up. 22:30:35 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:30:39 I will be focused on everyday Americans. 22:30:44 Just yesterday I read a heartbreaking letter. 22:30:46 I get letters from folks around the country every day. 22:30:51 This went got me to a Virginia man was stuck in the same 22:30:57 part-time job for years. There was no chance to get 22:30:59 ahead. [Laughter] 22:31:04 [Applause] I am feeling sorry, believe and 22:31:20 not, for the speaker of the house. 22:31:24 The house republicans give John Boehner a harder time than they 22:31:26 give me. [Laughter] 22:31:31 [Applause] I have not given up the idea of 22:31:53 working with congress. In fact, to weeks ago, senator 22:31:56 Ted Cruz and I -- I have to say the signing ceremony was 22:32:02 something special. [Laughter] 22:32:15 I know. Washington seems more 22:32:20 dysfunctional than ever. Greg Locke is gotten so bad in 22:32:24 this town what did we do to pass off Chris Christie so bad -- piss 22:32:41 off Chris Christie so bad? I am beginning to think they 22:32:50 have a point. If you don't want to get paid 22:32:57 for working, you should run for congress like everybody else. 22:33:02 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:33:05 There is one thing that keeps republicans busy. 22:33:08 They have tried more than 50 times to reveal a bomber care. 22:33:12 Despite that, more than 7 million people have signed up. 22:33:19 [Applause] How well does Obamacare have to 22:33:27 work before you don't want to repeal it? 22:33:32 What if your yearly checkup came with tickets to a clipper's 22:33:40 game. Not the Donald Sterling Clippers 22:33:47 the Oprah Clippers. What is it going to take? 22:34:02 Anyway, this year I have promised to use more executive 22:34:08 actions to get things done without congress. 22:34:12 It is called the imperial presidency. 22:34:15 I have to show up every day at my office and do my job. 22:34:18 We have a picture of this? [Laughter] 22:34:22 [Applause] You would think they would 22:34:33 appreciate a more assertive approach, especially considering 22:34:41 that the new conservative darling is Vladimir Putin. 22:34:46 I know it sounds crazy. They'll give those to just about 22:34:53 anybody these days. It could happen. 22:34:55 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:35:01 Rudy Giuliani said Putin is what you would call a leader. 22:35:10 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:35:23 Look it up. They talk about it a lot. 22:35:24 [Laughter] It is strange to think that I 22:35:31 have two and a half years left in this office. 22:35:38 There are reminders that I only hold this job temporary. 22:35:43 [Laughter] It is a long time between now 22:35:49 and 2016. You may have heard the other day 22:35:53 that Hillary Clinton ducked issue at a press conference. 22:35:55 [Laughter] I love that picture. 22:36:11 Regardless of what happens, I am on my last campaign. 22:36:15 I'm beginning to think about my legacy. 22:36:17 Some of you know that a high school is being named after me 22:36:24 in Chicago. Rick. 22:36:29 -- Rick Perry is doing the same thing in Texas. Take a look. 22:36:35 [Laughter] It means a lot to me. 22:36:44 I intend to enjoy all the free time that I will have. 22:36:48 George W. Bush took up painting. It inspired me to take up own 22:36:56 artistic side. I am sure we have a shot of 22:37:01 this. Maybe not. 22:37:08 The joke does not work without the slide. 22:37:08 The joke does not work without the slide. 22:37:12 Assume that it was funny. [Laughter] 22:37:18 Does this happen to you Joel? On a serious note, tonight 22:37:28 reminds us that we are lucky to live in a country where 22:37:31 reporters can give a head of state a hard time. 22:37:37 And then give him the chance to return the favor. 22:37:41 We also know that not every journalist is so fortunate. 22:37:46 Even as we celebrate tonight, our thoughts are with those in 22:37:54 places like Ukraine and Afghanistan. 22:37:57 People who risk everything, risk their lives to report the news. 22:38:08 The fight for full and fair access goes beyond the chance to 22:38:14 ask a question. Decades ago an African-American 22:38:20 might be barred from journalism school. 22:38:25 After years of effort, black editors and publishers began 22:38:32 meeting. They met with the president 22:38:35 himself. Even when one made history, he 22:38:46 was not always welcomed by the other reporters, but he was 22:38:49 welcomed by the president. I'm very happy to have you here. 22:39:01 He made history. We are so proud of him and his 22:39:08 family. [Applause] 22:39:21 For over 100 years, even as the white house correspondents 22:39:30 association tells the story of progress, you have limited two. 22:39:38 Yes, radio television and internet reporters as well. 22:39:42 You make sure that our fundamental commitment to 22:39:48 between the action -- interaction between those who 22:39:52 govern it sustained. Because this is the 100th 22:40:04 anniversary, I actually recorded an additional brief video 22:40:10 thanking you for all your hard work. 22:40:14 Congratulations. What is going on? 22:40:21 I was told this would work. This anybody know how to fix 22:40:25 this? [Kathleen Sebelius walks out with laptop] Thank you. 22:40:29 [Laughter] Do you have it? 22:40:35 I got this. There. 22:40:45 Here is to 100 more years. Thank you very much, 22:40:53 everybody.. Bless you. [Applause] 22:41:06 [Laughter] [Laughter] 22:41:10 [Applause] Ladies and gentlemen, now 22:41:23 that you've had the warm-up, Joel McHale. 22:41:26 [Laughter] [Applause] Joel McHale 22:41:33 Here we go. I am the last person standing 22:41:38 between you and your after party. 22:41:43 In just one hour and 15 minutes you will be walking out of here, 22:41:47 all right? I'm going to break the record. 22:41:52 Strap in. Good evening, Mr. President. As 22:41:55 Paul Ryan refers you, just another intercity my warty 22:42:01 relying on the government to feed and house your family. 22:42:03 [Laughter] I am a big friend of president 22:42:08 Obama. I think he is one of the 22:42:09 all-time great presidents, definitely in the top 50. 22:42:12 [Laughter] Please explain that to Jessica 22:42:17 Simpson. You are right, that was low. 22:42:23 [Applause] It is -- it is amazing that you 22:42:33 can bring it with fresh material. 22:42:35 My favorite bit of yours is when you said you would close the 22:42:41 detention facility at Guantanamo bay. 22:42:44 That was hilarious. Still going. 22:42:47 [Laughter] I would like to take a moment to 22:42:52 recognize the first lady. You are very kind to me and my 22:42:57 family, especially when you showed us how to tear a phone 22:43:01 book in half with your hands. [Laughter] 22:43:04 I would also like to thank the white house correspondents 22:43:08 association for having me and not being able to book jimmy 22:43:10 Fallon. That is true. 22:43:13 [Laughter] It has been a long night. 22:43:17 I promise that tonight will be both amusing and over quickly 22:43:25 like Chris Christie's presidential bid. 22:43:28 Buckle up, governor risky. -- Christie. 22:43:36 [Laughter] I deserve that. 22:43:39 I agree on that one. Allow me to tell you a little 22:43:46 bit about myself. My name is Joel McHale. 22:43:48 I am on a show called "Community." 22:43:51 [Laughter] That is exactly what I thought. 22:43:58 I also host a show called "The soup." 22:44:03 To republicans in attendance, E is a channel that you're 22:44:10 deeply closeted gay son wants to watch. 22:44:17 Eat - E is also home to the Kardassians. 22:44:26 They are trying to screw black people. 22:44:29 [Laughter] Now just the man. 22:44:33 [Laughter] It is an honor to be here 22:44:37 tonight. I am tingling with excitement. 22:44:43 Maybe that is just a bedbug. [Laughter] 22:44:46 I hope you all enjoyed your dinner. 22:44:49 It was grass Fred the freshly dragged off the ranch. 22:44:58 The stakes are very tasty once you pull off the tiny white 22:45:01 hoods. [Laughter] 22:45:04 Let the record show. My show is being broadcast on 22:45:09 C-SPAN. C-SPAN is like one of those 22:45:13 paranormal activity movies. It is grainy shots of empty 22:45:19 rooms interrupted by shots of people that you pretty sure died 22:45:22 a few years ago. [Laughter] 22:45:29 Stay tuned, after the correspondents dinner, for in 22:45:31 new C-SPAN show, "So you think you can remain conscious." 22:45:39 This is the 100th year of the white house correspondents 22:45:44 association. [Applause] 22:45:47 100 years ago the CNN was only searching for the right brothers 22:45:51 plane. [Laughter] 22:45:57 The correspondents dinner itself is a tradition dating back to 22:45:58 1920. Back then, this event was only 22:46:01 for men. There is a plaque in the lobby 22:46:06 commemorating this as the location of the very first total 22:46:09 sausage fest. [Laughter] 22:46:18 #Total sausagefest. [Laughter] 22:46:25 Here you'll find all 19 nationalities contained within 22:46:32 Arianna Huffington's accent. [Laughter] 22:46:35 It is a general and thrilled to be here in Washington DC. 22:46:39 It is the city that started the whole crack smoking mayor craze. 22:46:42 [Laughter] You guys were the first. 22:46:49 I hope he is not here tonight. People say that Toronto mayor 22:46:55 rob Ford is a mess. He can't help it. 22:47:00 He's like a bull and a crack pipe shop. 22:47:04 You just want to tell Canada "Relax, we already have a 22:47:10 Florida." [Laughter] 22:47:14 Ted Cruz propose a government shutdown. 22:47:18 Everyone else and congress decided to go along with this to 22:47:23 get some time away from Ted Cruz. 22:47:24 The key party is anti-socialism and anti-immigration. 22:47:31 It makes sense that their hero is a Cuban from Canada. 22:47:34 That one was poignant. The vice president is in Kiev 22:47:40 tonight. He thought this event was being 22:47:47 held at the Dulles airport Applebee's. 22:47:50 He is talking to a construction cone that he thinks is John 22:47:55 Boehner. [Laughter] 22:47:57 Also true. [Laughter] 22:48:01 It is crazy to think that Joe Biden is only one heartbeat away 22:48:05 from someone -- no one taking him seriously as president. 22:48:10 [Laughter] Biden will likely be running for 22:48:15 president in 2016. And I quote "There is no obvious 22:48:22 reason not to." [Laughter] 22:48:30 It is there, isn't it? I'm going to finish that thing. 22:48:35 Just bring me my hoagie. No, not that one. 22:48:42 The fancy one. Here late Clinton has a lot 22:48:47 going for her. She is a natural leader. 22:48:52 As our first female president, we could pay her 30% less. 22:48:55 [Laughter] That is a savings this country 22:49:02 could use. Who is with me? 22:49:05 Hillary's doddle Chelsea -- daughter Chelsea is pregnant. 22:49:14 We will have a sequel to "Bad grandpa." 22:49:17 It also raises the question, when a baby is born you give 22:49:24 Bill Clinton a cigar? [Laughter] 22:49:29 You guys sound like you're on a roller coaster right now. 22:49:37 They are all vowing to see who will win over the GOP base. 22:49:47 Jeb bush says he is speaking about running. 22:49:51 Another bush might be in the white house. 22:49:53 Is it already time for our every 10 years surprise party for 22:49:59 Iraq? [Laughter] 22:50:04 As it stands right now, the republican presidential nominee 22:50:06 will either be Jeb bush, Rand Paul, or a bag of flour with 22:50:15 Ronald Reagan's face drawn on it. 22:50:16 [Laughter] People are asking, will Donald 22:50:22 Trump run again? The answer is does that thing on 22:50:28 his head in the woods. - Cr-p in the woods. 22:50:40 Speaking of digestive systems, Chris Christie is here. 22:50:42 He is actually here eerie, tonight. 22:50:52 You, sir, are a glutton -- for punishment. 22:51:01 They blocked the world George Washington bridge. 22:51:04 Finally, a politician willing to stand up to America's commuter. 22:51:11 Do you want bridge jokes or size jokes? 22:51:15 I know you like a combo platter. I get that. I am sorry for that 22:51:20 joke. I did know -- did not know I was 22:51:26 going to tell it. I take full responsibility for 22:51:31 it. Whoever wrote it will be fired. 22:51:33 I will be a man and own up to it. 22:51:35 I will get to the bottom of how it happened. 22:51:39 I was not aware it happened until just now. 22:51:42 I am appointing a blue-ribbon commission of me to investigate 22:51:45 the joke that I just told. I assure you I will be dealt 22:51:49 with. I just looked into it. 22:51:53 It turns out I am not responsible for it. 22:51:59 Justice has been served. [Laughter] 22:52:01 [Applause] He is going to kill me. 22:52:09 [Laughter] Mr. President, you are no 22:52:15 stranger to criticism eerie that Ted Nugent called you a subhuman 22:52:20 mongrel. It is comments like that that 22:52:23 makes us question whether we can take a guy who wrote "Wang dang 22:52:29 sweet? Seriously anymore. 22:52:38 Mitch McConnell said his number one priority was to get the 22:52:43 president out of office. Mitch, congratulations on being 22:52:48 just two years away from realizing your goal. 22:52:50 [Laughter] Mr. President, your harshest 22:52:55 critics have compared you to Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, -- 22:53:03 I have to say those comparisons are outrageous. 22:53:08 You look way older than those guys. 22:53:09 Just because Morgan Freeman has played the president does not 22:53:13 mean you have to act exactly like him. 22:53:19 Every year the white house Dr. Checks the white -- presidents: 22:53:28 For polyps and George Clooney's head. 22:53:31 [Laughter] It is good to see that white 22:53:38 house press secretary, boy detective jay carney, is here. 22:53:44 Big night for J. I have not seen you this nervous 22:53:49 since the president told him just go out there and tell them 22:53:54 the website is broken. [Laughter] 22:53:58 That actually probably was a moment. 22:53:58 That actually probably was a moment. 22:54:02 that you already have the launch of healthcare.gov a disaster. 22:54:10 It was bad. I don't have an analogy. 22:54:18 They say stuff like "I should not have eaten at sushi." 22:54:31 That latest Johnny Depp movie really health care.gov at the 22:54:33 box office. Thanks to Obamacare, or is the 22:54:46 president refers to it as me care, and millions of newly 22:54:52 insured young Americans can visit the doctor's office and 22:54:58 see what a print magazine actually looks like. 22:54:59 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:55:05 Now, over 8 million people have signed up for Obamacare. 22:55:08 That sounds impressive until you realize that -- 22:55:18 there is a lot going on in the world right now. 22:55:21 There is a madman who has had plastic surgery annexing small 22:55:26 countries in eastern Europe. What the hell is Bruce Jenner 22:55:31 doing in Crimea? Do they get that show their? 22:55:38 I do think you are making a big mistake with Putin. 22:55:40 You have to show a guy like that that you are just as crazy as he 22:55:42 is. He invades Crimea, you invade 22:55:46 Cancun. Russia takes back Ukraine, 22:55:51 America takes back Texas. Something to think about. 22:55:53 [Laughter] The new director of the secret 22:55:58 service is here tonight. Under her leadership, secret 22:56:04 service agents can longer consort with prostitutes that 22:56:11 are too drunk to make it to the program. 22:56:12 [Laughter] I am sure she loves that. 22:56:18 The director of national intelligence, James clapper, is 22:56:21 here. Finally I can put a face to the 22:56:27 mysterious voice clearing its throat on the other end of the 22:56:30 phone. That was weird. 22:56:33 I have been watching a lot of cable news. 22:56:35 I am a big fan of that lesbian on MSNBC. 22:56:44 Yeah, MSNBC is a confusing place. 22:56:49 Al Sharpton is there skinny guy. [Laughter] 22:56:54 CNN is desperately searching for something they have been missing 22:56:55 for months -- their dignity. Totally. 22:56:59 [Laughter] At this point, CNN is like the 22:57:06 radio shack in a strip mall. You don't know how it stayed in 22:57:11 business as long. They just fired piers Morgan. 22:57:16 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:57:19 Thank you. Fox News is the highest rated 22:57:25 network and cable news. [Applause] 22:57:36 It is all thanks to their key demographic, the old people that 22:57:44 have tuned into Fox News and have not yet been discovered. 22:57:47 Bill O'Reilly is not here. They'll has another book coming 22:57:52 out soon. He is making his ghost writers 22:57:56 work around the clock. This event brings together both 22:58:08 Washington and Hollywood. The relationship between 22:58:11 Washington and Hollywood has been a long and fruitful one. 22:58:14 You get tax credits for film and television production. 22:58:16 In return, we bring much-needed entertainment to hard-working 22:58:22 American cities like Vancouver, Toronto, and Vancouver again. 22:58:26 [Laughter] Hollywood helps America by 22:58:31 projecting a heroic image to the rest of the world. 22:58:33 We have just released another movie about captain America, or 22:58:37 as he is a known in China, captain who owes his $1.1 22:58:44 trillion. [Laughter] 22:58:49 Look around. The cast of "The." 22:58:55 -- "Veep." The folks from Dr. Dynasty had a 22:59:07 very challenging year. The grandfather on the 22:59:12 grandfather on that show made homophobic and racist remarks. 22:59:13 He really hates docs -- ducks. [Laughter] 22:59:23 "House of cards" has had great impact on Washington. 22:59:29 I have not seen a tour de force performance like that since. 22:59:40 You can drop character any time. I am not going to spite that 22:59:48 spoil the shocker on "House of cards." 22:59:49 Are -- Nancy Pelosi's face almost changed expression. 22:59:58 Did you like that one, Nancy? I would like to congratulate 23:00:02 Jared Leto on his Oscar. Who asked to be introduced to 23:00:15 that hot chick from "Dallas Buyers Club." 23:00:18 Richard Sherman has already had an impact on tonight's event. 23:00:28 He blocked all three attempts of Tim Tebow to pass the dinner 23:00:32 rolls. Peyton manning, it he wanted to 23:00:38 be here tonight, but could only move four yards at a time. 23:00:44 You're right. He is not here to defend 23:00:46 himself. Legendary actor Robert DeNiro is 23:00:50 here tonight. [Applause] 23:00:54 I don't do a DeNiro impression, 22:59:04 The folks from Dr. Dynasty had a very challenging year. 22:59:10 The grandfather on the grandfather on that show made 22:59:12 homophobic and racist remarks. He really hates docs -- ducks. 22:59:21 [Laughter] "House of cards" has had great 22:59:27 impact on Washington. I have not seen a tour de force 22:59:31 performance like that since. You can drop character any time. 22:59:43 I am not going to spite that spoil the shocker on "House of 22:59:48 cards." Are -- Nancy Pelosi's face 22:59:56 almost changed expression. Did you like that one, Nancy? 23:00:00 I would like to congratulate Jared letter -- O on his Oscar. 23:00:12 Who asked to be introduced to that hot chick from "Dallas 23:00:16 Buyers Club." Richard Sherman has already had 23:00:22 an impact on tonight's event. He blocked all three attempts of 23:00:31 Tim Tebow to pass the dinner rolls. 23:00:33 Peyton manning, it he wanted to be here tonight, but could only 23:00:41 move four yards at a time. You're right. 23:00:45 He is not here to defend himself. 23:00:49 Legendary actor Robert DeNiro is here tonight. 23:00:51 [Applause] I don't do a DeNiro impression, 23:00:57 but I do an impression of Robert yours agent. 23:01:02 He'll do it. [Laughter] 23:01:13 Mr. DeNiro, I am clearly beyond reproach. 23:01:21 I will see you on the set of "Spy kids five." 23:01:24 This stone him and the founder of Twitter, is here. 23:01:28 So if you congressmen want to cut out the middleman, just show 23:01:32 him your penis. Not now. 23:01:39 [Laughter] Those are my warm-up jokes. 23:01:43 I am kidding. I want to leave you tonight with 23:01:47 a bit of a pep talk. America has seen her share of 23:01:51 challenges, but as my agent told me when I booked an ABC sitcom, 23:01:56 "Things could be worse." Have you watch the news? 23:02:01 Not CNN, the real news. It is pretty bad in other 23:02:07 places. By comparison, America is doing 23:02:10 great. This year, after months of 23:02:14 debate and controversy, we have achieved something that has 23:02:18 impact the health of millions, we brought back wiki's. 23:02:24 We are not the fattest country in the world, Mexico is. 23:02:29 Don't worry, we will be the fattest country once everyone 23:02:35 comes over here. [Laughter] 23:02:40 A spoiler can sense of I have not been back to the village at 23:02:48 so don't tell me you survive the drone strike. 23:02:49 [Laughter] America still has amazing 23:02:52 technological innovations. Google glasses hit the market. 23:02:59 Now we will know exactly who to punch in the face. 23:03:00 [Laughter] In America, we see gluten in 23:03:04 peanuts as a threat. And other countries, gluten and 23:03:10 peanuts are the names of warlords. 23:03:14 America is doing just fine. I know that? 23:03:18 We are making a fourth movie about trucks that turn into 23:03:22 giant robots. Why? 23:03:28 There is still so much story left to tell. 23:03:29 [Laughter] Jenna, everyone. 23:03:33 This country is still number one. 23:03:37 Cream filled pastries, face computers, and robot trucks. 23:03:44 As to the economy and environment, we will get the 23:03:47 next time. Here is why America is the best 23:03:49 country in the world. A guy like me can stand for the 23:03:52 president, the press, and Patrick Duffy, and tell jokes 23:03:58 without severe repercussions. Instead of being shipped off to 23:04:02 a good log, I am going to the vanity fair after party. 23:04:06 This is America where everyone can be a Pussy Riot. 23:04:15 This is one of the coolest things. 23:04:17 Thank you Mr. President. Thank you. 23:04:22 Thank you, C-SPAN viewer. [Laughter] 23:04:27 [Applause] [Applause] 23:04:56 Thank you. Now, to bring our evening to a 23:05:03 close. I would like you all to remain 23:05:04 here while our next president escorts Mr. And Mrs. Obama from 23:05:12 our home. Thank you. Obama, Joel McHale deliver biting humor at the White House Correspondents' Dinner The glitchy rollout of HealthCare.gov and a contentious relationship with Congress might have bedeviled the White House over the past year, but at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner in Washington on Saturday night, President Obama milked them for comedic fodder. In the annual tradition of the president offering a sendup of the press, his rivals and often himself, Obama noted that House Republicans have been as tough on Speaker John A. Boehner (Ohio) as they had previously been on him. "Which proves that orange really is the new black," he said, to roars from the audience of 2,600 or so members of the media, Congress, visiting celebrities and others at the Washington Hilton. He was, of course, poking fun at the preternaturally tan Boehner who is a frequent target of Washington punch lines. The technical problems with the government's health-care Web site provided the inspiration for one of the year's most popular movies, Obama said. Then the poster for the animated film "Frozen" appeared on the large television screens.
WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER / CLEAN SWITCHED P1 / HD
SWITCHED POOL FEED WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER REMARKS W/ PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA AND JOEL MCHALE This asset has dinner only and ends at 20:55 21:40:38 WHCA President: Everybody have a seat. 21:40:48 Rest your feet. Ladies and gentlemen, we will 21:40:56 begin the program. We will start tonight with one 21:41:00 of our favorite parts, which is the awarding of our awards for 21:41:06 excellence in journalism. To help us with that is a valued 21:41:10 member of our board, Doug mills. A terrific photojournalists. 21:41:26 The first award of the night, the judges chose to winners this 21:41:34 year which recognizes excellence in white house coverage. 21:41:38 The winners are Brihanna Keeler. The next award recognizes 21:42:41 excellent work in both print and broadcast. 21:42:48 The print winner is peter baker of the New York times. 21:42:49 [Applause] And the broadcast winner is 21:42:57 peter Mayer of CBS news. [Applause] 21:43:30 The next award recognizes coverage of news or national and 21:43:38 regional significance. The judges chose to winners this 21:43:41 year. Megan Toney at Reuters. 21:43:52 [Applause] And the Center for Public 21:43:59 Integrity and Brian Ross of ABC News. [Brian Ross & Matt Mosk accept award] 21:44:08 [Applause] Ladies and gentlemen, we have 21:44:53 one more award. We normally just award those 21:44:58 three, but as part of the centennial of our association, I 21:45:00 am happy to announce that we have created the president's 21:45:02 award. It is an honor for exceptional 21:45:07 service to the members and groups of the white house 21:45:10 correspondents association and I am delighted to announce that 21:45:11 this first recipient will be George Condon junior. 21:45:16 [Applause] Thank you. 21:46:09 I want to talk for a minute about the video we are going to 21:46:13 show. Over the years, we have had a 21:46:16 lot of very funny videos. They have all been a lot of fun. 21:46:25 Because it was our centennial, I made a different choice. 21:46:29 I wanted to have a video about us, the white house 21:46:31 correspondents. Unfortunately, I had a grand 21:46:36 vision to do a lot and I found I was going to be -- it was going 21:46:40 to be a little more expensive than I hoped and it would take 21:46:43 money out of our scholarship fund. 21:46:47 Fortunately, in walked a woman from the A&E network eager to 21:46:50 talk to us about our scholarships. 21:46:53 We met with her. I said, you own the history 21:46:58 channel. I asked them if they would do a 21:47:03 video and the history of the presidency in the press and they 21:47:06 were very kind. I would like to show you that 21:47:11 video. [Applause] Video on history of the WHCA produced by A&E and voiced by Diane Sawyer 21:47:16 Thomas Jefferson said, a 21:47:22 government without a vibrant media of all sorts is not an 21:47:26 option for the United States of America. 21:47:29 They are the watchdogs, the historians, the daily observers 21:47:33 at the white house, an unofficial assembly of 21:47:36 journalists assigned to watch with clear eyes and breaking 21:47:40 news. They are the white house 21:47:43 correspondents association. Have you got an extra camera 21:47:49 in case the lights go out? Is the sound ok? 21:47:53 The founding fathers wrote this job into the constitution, 21:47:59 freedom of the press is in there for a reason. 21:48:02 Both houses of congress have had having a wonderful time. 21:48:09 I think the enduring principle remains that we exist 21:48:13 and we work to keep the eyes of the free press on the government 21:48:15 and on the president. Sometimes you do not like the 21:48:20 decisions I make and sometimes I do not like the way you write 21:48:22 about the decisions. I view the association as the 21:48:28 shop steward for correspondence. We deal with a lot of 21:48:34 logistics. We are the ones working on who 21:48:35 has a seat in the briefing room. That is beautiful. 21:48:46 One of the great things about our job is being there when 21:48:48 history is being made. The evolution of the presidency 21:49:05 has gone hand-in-hand with the evolution of the white house 21:49:06 press association and the relationship of the press to 21:49:07 politics. The presidency 21:49:09 has gone hand-in-hand with the evolution of the white house 21:49:10 in letting folks know what the 21:49:11 white house is all about. Did you make a mistake, sir? 21:49:13 I am not taking any more questions. 21:49:14 I always try to put myself in their position. 21:49:17 They have a difficult job to do. With every president, the 21:49:28 relationship is constantly changing, but there is an 21:49:32 unchanging quest for the correspondents association and 21:49:34 it is a simple word -- access. We have to continue for those 21:49:42 doors and windows to remain open so that you can see an account 21:49:45 of history. We are not through this. 21:49:48 -- Period. We cannot go back to a more 21:49:58 polarized world where somebody can put the hammer down, this is 21:50:03 the way it is going to be and you cannot say anything. 21:50:06 If you try to, I will cut you off or put you in jail. 21:50:10 People have to be informed. What is the matter with these 21:50:16 clowns? Are there going to be 21:50:17 governments to try to be more insulated? 21:50:20 It is important to push back on that. 21:50:23 The association is a good for him for reminding reporters that 21:50:27 they also work for the public. They also have responsibility to 21:50:34 the American people. Press is an institutional 21:50:38 part of the white house and should always be an 21:50:40 institutional part. Every government needs a 21:50:41 watchdog. We never win, we never lose, 21:50:44 it is just a constant struggle. Like so many of the struggles 21:50:52 inside the beltway, this one started as a turf battle. 21:50:54 In 1914 on capitol hill. All of the press conferences 21:50:59 were donated by the violence in Mexico. 21:51:02 There was no controls over who attended those press 21:51:05 conferences. Congress tried to move in on the 21:51:10 white house. They wanted to become the one 21:51:15 that would help resident Woodrow Wilson start having regular 21:51:17 press conferences and selecting who would attend. 21:51:20 A select group of journalists was formed. 21:51:30 Looking back 100 years and think the pictures and hearing 21:51:30 Looking back 100 years and think the pictures and hearing 21:51:32 The organization was started by a group of white men, not women, 21:51:36 not minorities, but a group of white men. 21:51:44 Franklin Roosevelt was the first president to allow a black 21:51:45 correspondent into a white house press conference. 21:51:51 Harry McAlpin became the first African-American white 21:51:58 house correspondent. In his honor, the association 21:51:59 has established a scholarship for young and aspiring 21:52:04 journalists. We always had women members. 21:52:10 But we would not let them attend their dinner. 21:52:12 The general attitude was this was a stag event. 21:52:17 A sense that women journalists almost did not 21:52:19 belong. It was not until three women 21:52:24 reporters on including Helen Thomas, and to John F. Kennedy 21:52:29 and said, we would like you to help us get into this dinner. 21:52:32 Asked Kennedy said, tell me I'm not attending the dinner unless 21:52:36 women are allowed. All of a sudden, it changed. 21:52:41 We do nothing but body jokes now. 21:52:46 Well 99% of the correspondence job is working 21:52:53 the beat, there is 190 year when serious Washington -- one night 21:52:59 a year when serious Washington can make fun of itself. 21:53:02 We started the dinner in the 1920's. 21:53:06 It was not televised in the did not have Hollywood celebrities, 21:53:09 but it did have inner chambers. -- Entertainers. 21:53:16 Somebody doing animal impressions. 21:53:19 Now we have one entertainer. I was toying with the idea of 21:53:24 having a juggler. What is the key to navigating 21:53:27 the treacherous waters of Washington humor? 21:53:32 Winging it. Improvise a lot and see what 21:53:38 happens. Three models, one who do 21:53:41 politics and get it right. Anyone I'm excited to roast? 21:53:47 If Putin is there. I could say something really 21:53:56 dirty, but I probably shouldn't. And people who avoid politics 21:53:59 like the plague. Mif little guy? 21:54:04 -- Am I a political guy? You're supposed to keep it 21:54:11 clean. You're supposed to keep it 21:54:13 self-deprecating. Frank Sinatra, Jimmy Durante, 21:54:17 Fanny Brice. This year, it is me. 21:54:21 What did you know that the president will be there? -- Did 21:54:26 you know that the president will be there? 21:54:28 He is opening for you. It is the place where a 21:54:35 president can bring down the house. 21:54:37 Known as the prom of Washington, a term coined by 21:54:42 political reporters who clearly never had the chance to go to an 21:54:44 actual prom. Presents will think, this is 21:54:50 the chance to make fun of the press. 21:54:52 That is not what you do. You go to make fun of yourself. 21:54:57 You have to show that you can take it. 21:54:59 It is not easy to do standup comedy at one of these dinners. 21:55:03 Jay Leno was here. We give hope to gray-haired 21:55:10 chunky baby boomers everywhere. We don't want people to be 21:55:16 insulted. We want people to be teased. 21:55:18 You not make fun of the press because they cannot take it. 21:55:24 They don't want to hear it. Laughter aside, the first and 21:55:30 foremost mission of the association dinner is to promote 21:55:33 journalism, education for the scholarship fund. 21:55:39 Your attendance allows us to give back to the students. 21:55:42 As this dinner has grown and grown over the years, it has 21:55:46 generated more revenue for this very important scholarship. 21:55:51 The main reason we're there is for the scholarship and to 21:55:55 help these young people. They are remarkable folks full 21:55:57 of energy. We want to welcome Curtis 21:56:01 Macleod. It gives them hope to say, 21:56:07 there is a resource for me. Are provided such an 21:56:13 unforgettable experience for me. It was such a tremendous honor. 21:56:19 Still a future in journalism. It is going through a lot of 21:56:22 changes. I hope it'll be around for 21:56:28 another 100 years. Whether it is Twitter or the 21:56:35 typewriter, correspondents association continues to deliver 21:56:39 its message, covering the white house, standing century, sending 21:56:42 out the news in an ever changing media landscape. 21:56:46 We have seen the start of radio, we have seen the advent 21:56:52 of television. We have seen internet as a tool. 21:57:00 The white house has a television -- a telephone system 21:57:02 that has been there since president Carter. 21:57:07 One thing I often like to say is that speed kills because we 21:57:12 are racing faster and faster to get raw information in front of 21:57:15 the public. Reporters are under such 21:57:19 stress from their editors. Reporters cannot wait and can 21:57:25 not digest anymore. The point of view from the 21:57:28 reader. Is it accurate? 21:57:32 We are dealing with multiple time Zones, everything is in 21:57:36 real time. The questions we ask are still 21:57:39 the same. It is important that there is a 21:57:44 hodgepodge because it is not just all about that one story. 21:57:48 It is about stories around the world. 21:57:53 That brings together this one group. 21:57:56 I hope that 100 years from now and we are celebrating the 21:58:00 next anniversary, we will still have a room at the white house 21:58:05 with people asking the president or his staff questions every day 21:58:08 and explaining it to people. The dissemination of the news 21:58:11 will change, the media will change, but the journalism will 21:58:14 not change. This is a great window on the 21:58:18 world. Our democracy does not work 21:58:21 until -- unless -- if you do not have that interaction, you do 21:58:27 not have a true rocker see. -- Democracy. End of video 21:58:33 [Applause] WHCA President: I want to take an extra 21:58:44 second and thank Nancy, who is the CEO of the A&E networks. 21:58:50 [Applause] Their crews worked on this for 21:58:55 months at no cost out of our scholarship fund and it was a 21:59:01 great service to our association. 21:59:04 I want to thank Diane sawyer who agreed to do the voiceover for 21:59:06 us. [Applause] 21:59:09 I want to thank politico who lent us some of their photos and 21:59:14 I want to thank our colleagues who participated, all of the 21:59:23 press secretaries who agreed to be interviewed, and president 21:59:25 Obama and Clinton, who agreed to be interviewed for that. 21:59:28 Thank you very much. [Applause] 21:59:35 I want to talk for a minute just about the state of play. 21:59:39 I want to thank my family. My wife, Denise. 21:59:44 I sons, jack, Jim, and Ryan for all of their help and support, 21:59:50 particularly for this last year but for the last Wendy five. 21:59:55 -- 25. I want to thank our Washington 21:59:58 bureau and their commitment to journalism in Washington and 22:00:04 around the world. It allows us to keep doing work 22:00:05 that allows is -- needs to be done. 22:00:07 I want to thank my colleagues Lesley Clark and David Goldstein 22:00:16 because they have basically covered it well I turned this 22:00:18 job into a full-time job and they have done all the briefings 22:00:22 and travel I have not been able to do and I could not have done 22:00:25 it without them. I want to thank 22:00:26 Our board -- this board. Our board is a collection of the 22:00:35 most terrific people you ever see. 22:00:36 They had a pool issue trying to get into a certain country and 22:00:42 three or four members on the other side of the planet and 22:00:43 some of us here working around the clock with the white house 22:00:45 and they keep the wheels going so we can do our jobs. 22:00:49 I want to particularly thank Christi Parsons. 22:00:53 She is our vice president this year. 22:00:54 [Applause] 22:00:59 She does more work in keeping the pool moving -- and we all 22:01:06 know what the pool is, the group that gets closest and keeps 22:01:09 their eyes on the president -- it is sometimes a 22:01:13 three-dimensional chess board and she does a wonderful job. 22:01:14 She will be our president next year and we are in very good 22:01:17 hands. I want to quickly think George. 22:01:21 You don't hear him -- here his name a lot. 22:01:28 He is our attorney. He works pro Bono. 22:01:29 [Applause] He is a terrific first amendment 22:01:35 attorney and has been the liaison between us and the rest 22:01:36 of the journalism community in some of the where we have done 22:01:40 on access. We will continue on with 22:01:44 journalism schools. Our friend Lucy is with us 22:01:50 tonight. George has done a terrific job. 22:01:51 Thank you, George. And I want to thank Julie 22:01:54 Lister. Those of us involved at avenue 22:02:01 known Julie Liston for a long time. 22:02:05 We put this dinner on with a paid staff of one. 22:02:07 She does it with the help of some friend, or Dave -- her 22:02:12 brave husband, Dave Liston. We could not have this dinner 22:02:17 without Julie Liston. This year I kept piling extra 22:02:24 work for her for the centennial. We have added panels that we 22:02:29 normally do not do. We would not have made it to 100 22:02:32 years without Julie Liston. I want to thank my peers in the 22:02:37 white house press corps for this honor. 22:02:38 It has been a great thing. I want to take a minute and 22:02:41 introduce some people in the room. 22:02:42 I would like you to stand and stay standing. 22:02:47 Hold on for a second. I want all the past presidents 22:02:51 of the white house correspondents association to 22:02:52 please stand and stay standing. [Applause] 22:02:57 Hold off. Stay standing. 22:03:03 I would like everyone who has ever been elected or served on 22:03:06 our board to stand and stay standing. 22:03:07 [Applause] I would like everyone who covers 22:03:11 the beach today, goes to the briefings and the trips, sits in 22:03:15 the pool, to please stand. [Applause] 22:03:17 I would like everyone who has ever covered a briefing at the 22:03:22 white house and worked this beat to please stand. 22:03:25 [Applause] And finally, I would like our 22:03:29 scholarship winners and all of the journalism students in the 22:03:33 room to please stand. [Applause] 22:03:39 We welcome all our guests to this dinner. 22:03:44 There has been a lot of attention paid to the people 22:03:46 that come here and we welcome them all, the stars of fashion 22:03:50 or sports or entertainment, but ladies and gentlemen, these are 22:03:54 the white house correspondents. These are the people whose name 22:03:56 is on the dinner. [Applause] 22:04:04 We refer to it in a little bit individual -- in the video. 22:04:09 We are going through a major and significant change in the media. 22:04:11 First, as you notice from the old actress -- old pictures, 22:04:16 they were all white men, white presidents, too. 22:04:22 Now our correspondent organization is a half women. 22:04:27 Our board is half women. We have faces of color. 22:04:30 We have new media all over the room. 22:04:33 Olivia Knox from Yahoo! News is on our board. 22:04:38 This year, we added for the first time to the press pool a 22:04:42 gay newspaper. We have new voices. 22:04:46 For the first time ever, we had a foreign reporter joining us on 22:04:49 air force one for a trip. In our briefing room, if you 22:04:53 listen, you will hear foreign accents asking questions of our 22:04:56 government. You will hear a Russian accent. 22:04:59 You will hear other accents. You will not hear that and many 22:05:03 places in the world. This is America at its best. 22:05:06 [Applause] There are sometimes differing 22:05:11 views of what this free press can do great there is the noble 22:05:13 view. He president referred to Thomas 22:05:16 Jefferson in our video and we share that view. 22:05:19 Sometimes, the view of the people on the receiving end -- I 22:05:21 found a quote from the late actress grace Kelly. 22:05:26 She said, the freedom of press works in such a way -- there is 22:05:29 not really much freedom from the press. 22:05:31 That is true. We try to keep as many eyes as 22:05:38 possible on them. They do not always want us in 22:05:40 the room. This has never been truer than 22:05:42 today. A changing media gives us more 22:05:46 tools but allows the government to send its own messages direct 22:05:51 to people in ways that we find challenging. 22:05:54 It is certainly a thing president assesses to the 22:05:59 president would have envied -- predecessors to the president 22:06:05 would have envied and liked themselves. 22:06:07 We like their photographers and video crews. 22:06:08 We do not want to kick them out. We just want to be in the room, 22:06:11 too. [Applause] 22:06:15 When we are all paying attention to the government and asking 22:06:18 questions, we are all the better for it and it is a bragging 22:06:21 point for democracy. I want to turn for a minute and 22:06:25 talk a little bit about Harry McAlpin. 22:06:27 It was seven years ago he walked into the oval office and he was 22:06:32 the first lack reporter -- black reporter ever to attend a 22:06:38 presidential press conference. I am very happy to have you 22:06:41 here. Not everyone was so happy. 22:06:46 This association was not at all happy that he walked into the 22:06:48 oval office. We had denied membership to 22:06:50 blacks. We had rigged the role so they 22:06:55 could not participate. FDR did that on his own. 22:07:01 Tonight, we are announcing and creating a new scholarship, the 22:07:06 Harry McAlpin scholarship. [Applause] 22:07:15 By dedicating one of her scholarships to him, we not only 22:07:17 denies his historic role and one that we hope will inspire young 22:07:23 journalist, we acknowledge our own history. 22:07:25 Harry went on after his white house years. 22:07:28 That was just part of his story. He was a war or responded in the 22:07:32 south pacific at a time when the military was still segregated. 22:07:36 He went to law school, moved to Kentucky, led the NAACP there, 22:07:43 marched with Martin Luther king on the capital. 22:07:49 Harry died in 1975 never having gain membership to this 22:07:53 organization. Today, we possibly --'S to 22:07:57 mislead -- posthumously award him membership. 22:08:05 [Applause] Sherman, his son, when you stand 22:08:13 -- will you stand? He is here with his wife. 22:08:17 Joann, what you stand? And his daughter, Sasha. 22:08:22 Please make them feel welcome. [Applause] 22:08:41 We will present that and the scholarships. 22:08:45 To do that, April Ryan will be coming up and be joined by the 22:08:48 first lady, Michelle Obama. [Applause] 22:08:54 Good evening, everyone. What a wonderful evening for the 22:09:03 centennial scholarship awards. Are you having a good time 22:09:05 tonight? [Applause] 22:09:09 [Laughter] I just found out tonight that 22:09:16 this lady has jokes. That is all right. 22:09:20 Without further ado, we would like to bring forth our 22:09:22 scholarship centennial awardees and we would like to start with 22:09:26 the Harry McAlpin junior scholarship. 22:09:29 Yes, you may clap. [Applause] 22:09:32 It is a one-time award of $7,000. 22:09:35 This year's winner is a student from Howard university in 22:09:41 Washington DC. Let us welcome to the stage 22:09:48 Glenn hill of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 22:09:49 [Applause] [Laughter] 22:10:17 Once again, Glenn hill of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 22:10:20 Howard university. [Applause] 22:10:28 Now it is time for the white house correspondents association 22:10:31 scholarship prize. It is a one-time award of 22:10:34 $7,000. This year's recipients are two 22:10:38 students from Howard university in Washington, D C. 22:10:41 Victoria walker of Virginia. [Applause] 22:11:15 Next, the Deborah Warren scholarship. 22:11:16 The reciprocal of this Deborah Warren scholarship art two 22:11:21 current students from the McDill school of journalism. 22:11:31 Caroline of north Hanover Massachusetts. 22:11:37 [Applause] And Karen Galbreth of Illinois. 22:11:47 [Applause] Next, from Columbia university, 22:12:02 New York, New York. [Applause] 22:12:06 The white house correspondents association awarded a $5,000 22:12:09 tuition grant in 2013 to 2014 to Dina from Cairo, Egypt from 22:12:21 Columbia university. [Applause] 22:12:28 Also, the university of Missouri. 22:12:30 The white house correspondents association supported seven 22:12:35 graduate students for $2500 per student to study in Washington 22:12:42 DC for a semester as part of the university of mystery Bosch 22:12:44 established -- Missouri josh well-established program. 22:12:52 The recipients are Kevin Dubois. Philip Hawkins of Oklahoma City, 22:13:03 Oklahoma. Yi of Hong Kong. 22:13:16 Jenny rice of San Diego, California. 22:13:25 Mulin Jeong of China. The white house correspondents 22:13:41 association supports a student at the McDill school of 22:13:42 journalism with a $5,000 gift for a postgraduate student in 22:13:48 the government and journalism tracker -- track. 22:13:56 That goes to Brian to Santos from northwestern university. 22:14:09 The white house correspondents association supports a student 22:14:10 at the university of California at earthly to a $5,000 gift 22:14:14 towards a postgraduate degree for a student in the government 22:14:18 and public affairs supporting track. 22:14:22 That is Jennifer chase. I'm sorry if I am messing your 22:14:25 name up. Of Sacramento, California. 22:14:31 [Applause] The university of California at 22:14:38 Berkeley. On the university -- 22:14:45 next, the university of Maryland journalism college fund, some 22:14:49 own Thomas -- Simone Thomas. [Applause] 22:14:59 Those are our own warnings for this evening. 22:15:03 [Applause] Let's -- awardings for this 22:15:11 evening. Let's give them a big round of 22:15:12 applause. [Applause] 22:15:16 Have a great evening and laugh hard and a lot. 22:15:21 [Applause] Thank you, April. 22:15:28 Thank you, Mrs. Obama. If you have a glass near, I 22:15:32 would like you to raise a glass with me. 22:15:36 I would like to propose a toast. Our one official toast of the 22:15:41 evening, to the president of the United States of America. 22:15:42 [Cheers] And finally, for me, I would 22:15:53 like to introduce the president of the United States by 22:15:59 introducing the vice president of the United States. Veep Video with Joe Biden and Julia Louis Dreyfus 22:16:06 [Laughter] Hello? 22:16:16 Joanna? What are you doing? 22:16:19 I thought you were the president. 22:16:23 Listen, are you going to this boring dinner tonight? 22:16:29 No, I'm not going. I have been there once. 22:16:35 It is a bunch of politicians trying to explain politics to 22:16:38 Hollywood. Who wants to see David 22:16:41 Gregory crying in the corner all night? 22:16:43 Do you want to come and pick me -- 22:16:46 [ horn honks] Up? 22:16:53 Yellow? Seriously, yellow? 22:16:56 Get in the car. Is anybody looking? 22:17:07 Check for me. I can remember that. 22:17:13 Oh, yeah. Shh. 22:17:19 Whoa. Don't touch the desk. 22:17:25 , On. Let's get something to eat. 22:17:30 This is good. My granddaughters like the 22:17:32 sprinkles. This is like the sweetest 22:17:35 thing you can get in the executive branch. 22:17:36 Hey, guys. What are you doing? 22:17:39 Nothing. What is in your mouth? 22:17:43 Carrots. Haven't you guys listen to 22:17:48 anything I have said about healthy eating? 22:17:50 Handed over. Hand it over. 22:17:55 Let's move. Ok. 22:18:00 Busted. You can say that again. 22:18:09 I just forgot my purse. I'm sure there are reasons in 22:18:19 here. It's a fruit. 22:18:24 Plus, it is more than they give you at that correspondents 22:18:26 dinner. Plus, I work out every day. 22:18:28 Sure you do. I do too. 22:18:30 Do you want to arm wrestle? I don't really work out. 22:18:35 I didn't think so. Where we headed next? 22:18:41 We can write any headline we want? 22:18:42 Knock yourself out. Go to it. 22:18:45 The headline I would like to write is Selena miles, voted in 22:18:52 as president. All in good time. 22:18:57 Yes, we can all look directly into the camera, and Kevin. 22:19:06 hi, Joe. 22:19:31 What are you doing here? Getting my tattoo done. 22:19:34 You know the difference between the tattoo and the Koch 22:19:39 brothers? They are both painful, but you 22:19:42 can get rid of a tattoo. All right, let's do it. 22:19:47 Bring it on. 22:19:55 Oh, yeah. Bring it on. 22:20:01 Hey, girl. Hey j-dog, are you going to 22:20:09 this dinner tonight? Hell no I'm not going. 22:20:16 I have important things to do in the capital. 22:20:18 Ok. I need to go to the dinner. 22:20:25 I am not really a VP but you are. 22:20:27 I am an actress from Hollywood. I know. 22:20:28 Can you give me a ride? The secret service does not 22:20:34 let me drive off the property. That make sense. 22:20:35 We can get a cab. I've got my 22:20:42 I have got my dress and this hair. 22:20:46 Things a million, Joe. Good luck. 22:20:49 [applause] President Barack Obama: 22:21:17 Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States. 22:21:23 [Applause] Thank you. 22:21:34 Thank you so much. Thank you very much. 22:21:40 Thank you. .Gif -- thank U so much. 22:21:48 Everyone, have a seat. Before I get started, can we get 22:21:52 the new presidential set up out here? 22:21:55 [laughter] 22:22:08 It has worked before. [Laughter] 22:22:11 That is more like it. It is great to be back. 22:22:16 What a year, huh? I usually start these dinners 22:22:22 with a few self-deprecating jokes. 22:22:24 After my stellar 2013, what can I possibly talk about? 22:22:28 [Laughter] I admit it -- last year was 22:22:36 rough. Sheesh. 22:22:38 [Laughter] At one point, things got so bad, 22:22:44 the 47% called Mitt Romney to apologize. 22:22:48 [Laughter] Of course, we rolled out 22:22:58 healthcare.gov. That could have gone better. 22:23:01 [Laughter] In 2008, my slogan was "Yes, we 22:23:10 can." In 2013, my slogan was "Control, 22:23:20 alt, delete." [Laughter] 22:23:24 On the plus side, they did turn the launch of healthcare.gov 22:23:27 into the year's biggest movies. [Laughter] 22:23:39 But rather than dwell on the past and I would like to pivot 22:23:42 to this news. Let's welcome our headliner this 22:23:47 evening, Joel McHale. [Applause] 22:23:53 On "Community," jolt plays a self-obsessed narcissist, so 22:24:01 this dinner must be a real change of pace for you. 22:24:02 [Laughter] I want to thank the white house 22:24:08 correspondents association for hosting us here tonight. 22:24:10 I am happy to be here, even though I am a little jetlagged 22:24:14 for my trip to Malaysia. The links we have to go to 22:24:17 get CNN coverage these days. [Laughter] 22:24:24 [Applause] I think they are still searching 22:24:34 for their tables. [Laughter] 22:24:36 [Applause] Msnbc is here. 22:24:45 [Applause] They are a little overwhelm the. 22:24:50 They have never seen an audience this big before. 22:24:51 [Laughter] Look, everyone is trying to keep 22:25:03 up with this incredibly fast-changing media landscape. 22:25:07 For example, I got a lot of grief on cable news for 22:25:10 promoting Obamacare to young people on "Between two ferns." 22:25:16 That is what don't people like to watch. 22:25:22 To be fair, I am not the first person on television between two 22:25:25 potted plants. [Laughter] 22:25:27 [Applause] Sometimes I do feel disrespected 22:25:42 by you reporters. But that is ok. 22:25:48 Seattle Seahawks' cornerback Richard Sherman is here tonight 22:25:52 and he gave me a great tip on how to handle it. 22:25:58 Jake tapper, don't you ever talk about me like that. 22:26:01 I am the best president in the game. 22:26:04 Was that good? [Laughter] 22:26:08 A little bit more feeling next time? 22:26:09 [Laughter] What we are talking sports, just 22:26:15 last month, a wonderful story. An American won the Boston 22:26:22 marathon for the first time in 30 years. 22:26:23 [Applause] Which was inspiring and only 22:26:30 fair since a Kenyan has been president for the last six. 22:26:40 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:26:43 We have to even things out. We have other athletes here 22:26:50 tonight, like Olympic gold medal snowboarders Jamie Anderson is 22:26:54 here. We are proud of her. 22:26:58 Michele and I watch the live experience we cannot believe 22:27:05 what they do. Death-defying feats. 22:27:23 As a general rule, things don't end well if the senate starts. 22:27:32 " Let me tell you something I know about the Negro." 22:27:39 You don't really need to hear the rest of it. 22:27:41 [Laughter] Just a tip for you. 22:27:50 Don't start your sentence that way. 22:27:52 [Laughter] Speaking of Rand Paul, -- 22:28:06 [laughter] Colorado legalized marijuana 22:28:14 this year. An interesting social 22:28:15 experiment. I do hope it does not lead to a 22:28:20 bunch of paranoid people that thinks the federal government is 22:28:24 out to get them and listening to their phone calls. 22:28:25 [Laughter] That would be a problem. 22:28:27 [Laughter] And speaking of secure -- 22:28:33 speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a cable 22:28:39 here tonight, but they use the shadowy right-wing organization 22:28:43 as a front. Hello, Fox News. 22:28:45 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:28:47 I'm just getting. Let's face it, fox, you'll miss 22:28:53 me when I'm gone. [Laughter] 22:28:56 It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary 22:28:58 was born in Kenya. [Laughter] 22:29:02 [Applause] A lot of us really are concerned 22:29:14 about the weight the money is influencing our politics. 22:29:20 I remember a super pack with me buying a Marlboro 100s instead 22:29:25 of regulars. [Laughter] 22:29:30 Now that it is 2014, Washington is obsessed on the midterms. 22:29:34 Folks are saying that with my sagging poll Numbers, my fellow 22:29:39 democrats don't really want me campaigning with them. 22:29:44 I don't think that is true, although I did notice the other 22:29:47 day that Sasha needed a 22:30:25 I understand America's teenage boys are signing up. 22:30:35 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:30:39 I will be focused on everyday Americans. 22:30:44 Just yesterday I read a heartbreaking letter. 22:30:46 I get letters from folks around the country every day. 22:30:51 This went got me to a Virginia man was stuck in the same 22:30:57 part-time job for years. There was no chance to get 22:30:59 ahead. [Laughter] 22:31:04 [Applause] I am feeling sorry, believe and 22:31:20 not, for the speaker of the house. 22:31:24 The house republicans give John Boehner a harder time than they 22:31:26 give me. [Laughter] 22:31:31 [Applause] I have not given up the idea of 22:31:53 working with congress. In fact, to weeks ago, senator 22:31:56 Ted Cruz and I -- I have to say the signing ceremony was 22:32:02 something special. [Laughter] 22:32:15 I know. Washington seems more 22:32:20 dysfunctional than ever. Greg Locke is gotten so bad in 22:32:24 this town what did we do to pass off Chris Christie so bad -- piss 22:32:41 off Chris Christie so bad? I am beginning to think they 22:32:50 have a point. If you don't want to get paid 22:32:57 for working, you should run for congress like everybody else. 22:33:02 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:33:05 There is one thing that keeps republicans busy. 22:33:08 They have tried more than 50 times to reveal a bomber care. 22:33:12 Despite that, more than 7 million people have signed up. 22:33:19 [Applause] How well does Obamacare have to 22:33:27 work before you don't want to repeal it? 22:33:32 What if your yearly checkup came with tickets to a clipper's 22:33:40 game. Not the Donald Sterling Clippers 22:33:47 the Oprah Clippers. What is it going to take? 22:34:02 Anyway, this year I have promised to use more executive 22:34:08 actions to get things done without congress. 22:34:12 It is called the imperial presidency. 22:34:15 I have to show up every day at my office and do my job. 22:34:18 We have a picture of this? [Laughter] 22:34:22 [Applause] You would think they would 22:34:33 appreciate a more assertive approach, especially considering 22:34:41 that the new conservative darling is Vladimir Putin. 22:34:46 I know it sounds crazy. They'll give those to just about 22:34:53 anybody these days. It could happen. 22:34:55 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:35:01 Rudy Giuliani said Putin is what you would call a leader. 22:35:10 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:35:23 Look it up. They talk about it a lot. 22:35:24 [Laughter] It is strange to think that I 22:35:31 have two and a half years left in this office. 22:35:38 There are reminders that I only hold this job temporary. 22:35:43 [Laughter] It is a long time between now 22:35:49 and 2016. You may have heard the other day 22:35:53 that Hillary Clinton ducked issue at a press conference. 22:35:55 [Laughter] I love that picture. 22:36:11 Regardless of what happens, I am on my last campaign. 22:36:15 I'm beginning to think about my legacy. 22:36:17 Some of you know that a high school is being named after me 22:36:24 in Chicago. Rick. 22:36:29 -- Rick Perry is doing the same thing in Texas. Take a look. 22:36:35 [Laughter] It means a lot to me. 22:36:44 I intend to enjoy all the free time that I will have. 22:36:48 George W. Bush took up painting. It inspired me to take up own 22:36:56 artistic side. I am sure we have a shot of 22:37:01 this. Maybe not. 22:37:08 The joke does not work without the slide. 22:37:08 The joke does not work without the slide. 22:37:12 Assume that it was funny. [Laughter] 22:37:18 Does this happen to you Joel? On a serious note, tonight 22:37:28 reminds us that we are lucky to live in a country where 22:37:31 reporters can give a head of state a hard time. 22:37:37 And then give him the chance to return the favor. 22:37:41 We also know that not every journalist is so fortunate. 22:37:46 Even as we celebrate tonight, our thoughts are with those in 22:37:54 places like Ukraine and Afghanistan. 22:37:57 People who risk everything, risk their lives to report the news. 22:38:08 The fight for full and fair access goes beyond the chance to 22:38:14 ask a question. Decades ago an African-American 22:38:20 might be barred from journalism school. 22:38:25 After years of effort, black editors and publishers began 22:38:32 meeting. They met with the president 22:38:35 himself. Even when one made history, he 22:38:46 was not always welcomed by the other reporters, but he was 22:38:49 welcomed by the president. I'm very happy to have you here. 22:39:01 He made history. We are so proud of him and his 22:39:08 family. [Applause] 22:39:21 For over 100 years, even as the white house correspondents 22:39:30 association tells the story of progress, you have limited two. 22:39:38 Yes, radio television and internet reporters as well. 22:39:42 You make sure that our fundamental commitment to 22:39:48 between the action -- interaction between those who 22:39:52 govern it sustained. Because this is the 100th 22:40:04 anniversary, I actually recorded an additional brief video 22:40:10 thanking you for all your hard work. 22:40:14 Congratulations. What is going on? 22:40:21 I was told this would work. This anybody know how to fix 22:40:25 this? [Kathleen Sebelius walks out with laptop] Thank you. 22:40:29 [Laughter] Do you have it? 22:40:35 I got this. There. 22:40:45 Here is to 100 more years. Thank you very much, 22:40:53 everybody.. Bless you. [Applause] 22:41:06 [Laughter] [Laughter] 22:41:10 [Applause] Ladies and gentlemen, now 22:41:23 that you've had the warm-up, Joel McHale. 22:41:26 [Laughter] [Applause] Joel McHale 22:41:33 Here we go. I am the last person standing 22:41:38 between you and your after party. 22:41:43 In just one hour and 15 minutes you will be walking out of here, 22:41:47 all right? I'm going to break the record. 22:41:52 Strap in. Good evening, Mr. President. As 22:41:55 Paul Ryan refers you, just another intercity my warty 22:42:01 relying on the government to feed and house your family. 22:42:03 [Laughter] I am a big friend of president 22:42:08 Obama. I think he is one of the 22:42:09 all-time great presidents, definitely in the top 50. 22:42:12 [Laughter] Please explain that to Jessica 22:42:17 Simpson. You are right, that was low. 22:42:23 [Applause] It is -- it is amazing that you 22:42:33 can bring it with fresh material. 22:42:35 My favorite bit of yours is when you said you would close the 22:42:41 detention facility at Guantanamo bay. 22:42:44 That was hilarious. Still going. 22:42:47 [Laughter] I would like to take a moment to 22:42:52 recognize the first lady. You are very kind to me and my 22:42:57 family, especially when you showed us how to tear a phone 22:43:01 book in half with your hands. [Laughter] 22:43:04 I would also like to thank the white house correspondents 22:43:08 association for having me and not being able to book jimmy 22:43:10 Fallon. That is true. 22:43:13 [Laughter] It has been a long night. 22:43:17 I promise that tonight will be both amusing and over quickly 22:43:25 like Chris Christie's presidential bid. 22:43:28 Buckle up, governor risky. -- Christie. 22:43:36 [Laughter] I deserve that. 22:43:39 I agree on that one. Allow me to tell you a little 22:43:46 bit about myself. My name is Joel McHale. 22:43:48 I am on a show called "Community." 22:43:51 [Laughter] That is exactly what I thought. 22:43:58 I also host a show called "The soup." 22:44:03 To republicans in attendance, E is a channel that you're 22:44:10 deeply closeted gay son wants to watch. 22:44:17 Eat - E is also home to the Kardassians. 22:44:26 They are trying to screw black people. 22:44:29 [Laughter] Now just the man. 22:44:33 [Laughter] It is an honor to be here 22:44:37 tonight. I am tingling with excitement. 22:44:43 Maybe that is just a bedbug. [Laughter] 22:44:46 I hope you all enjoyed your dinner. 22:44:49 It was grass Fred the freshly dragged off the ranch. 22:44:58 The stakes are very tasty once you pull off the tiny white 22:45:01 hoods. [Laughter] 22:45:04 Let the record show. My show is being broadcast on 22:45:09 C-SPAN. C-SPAN is like one of those 22:45:13 paranormal activity movies. It is grainy shots of empty 22:45:19 rooms interrupted by shots of people that you pretty sure died 22:45:22 a few years ago. [Laughter] 22:45:29 Stay tuned, after the correspondents dinner, for in 22:45:31 new C-SPAN show, "So you think you can remain conscious." 22:45:39 This is the 100th year of the white house correspondents 22:45:44 association. [Applause] 22:45:47 100 years ago the CNN was only searching for the right brothers 22:45:51 plane. [Laughter] 22:45:57 The correspondents dinner itself is a tradition dating back to 22:45:58 1920. Back then, this event was only 22:46:01 for men. There is a plaque in the lobby 22:46:06 commemorating this as the location of the very first total 22:46:09 sausage fest. [Laughter] 22:46:18 #Total sausagefest. [Laughter] 22:46:25 Here you'll find all 19 nationalities contained within 22:46:32 Arianna Huffington's accent. [Laughter] 22:46:35 It is a general and thrilled to be here in Washington DC. 22:46:39 It is the city that started the whole crack smoking mayor craze. 22:46:42 [Laughter] You guys were the first. 22:46:49 I hope he is not here tonight. People say that Toronto mayor 22:46:55 rob Ford is a mess. He can't help it. 22:47:00 He's like a bull and a crack pipe shop. 22:47:04 You just want to tell Canada "Relax, we already have a 22:47:10 Florida." [Laughter] 22:47:14 Ted Cruz propose a government shutdown. 22:47:18 Everyone else and congress decided to go along with this to 22:47:23 get some time away from Ted Cruz. 22:47:24 The key party is anti-socialism and anti-immigration. 22:47:31 It makes sense that their hero is a Cuban from Canada. 22:47:34 That one was poignant. The vice president is in Kiev 22:47:40 tonight. He thought this event was being 22:47:47 held at the Dulles airport Applebee's. 22:47:50 He is talking to a construction cone that he thinks is John 22:47:55 Boehner. [Laughter] 22:47:57 Also true. [Laughter] 22:48:01 It is crazy to think that Joe Biden is only one heartbeat away 22:48:05 from someone -- no one taking him seriously as president. 22:48:10 [Laughter] Biden will likely be running for 22:48:15 president in 2016. And I quote "There is no obvious 22:48:22 reason not to." [Laughter] 22:48:30 It is there, isn't it? I'm going to finish that thing. 22:48:35 Just bring me my hoagie. No, not that one. 22:48:42 The fancy one. Here late Clinton has a lot 22:48:47 going for her. She is a natural leader. 22:48:52 As our first female president, we could pay her 30% less. 22:48:55 [Laughter] That is a savings this country 22:49:02 could use. Who is with me? 22:49:05 Hillary's doddle Chelsea -- daughter Chelsea is pregnant. 22:49:14 We will have a sequel to "Bad grandpa." 22:49:17 It also raises the question, when a baby is born you give 22:49:24 Bill Clinton a cigar? [Laughter] 22:49:29 You guys sound like you're on a roller coaster right now. 22:49:37 They are all vowing to see who will win over the GOP base. 22:49:47 Jeb bush says he is speaking about running. 22:49:51 Another bush might be in the white house. 22:49:53 Is it already time for our every 10 years surprise party for 22:49:59 Iraq? [Laughter] 22:50:04 As it stands right now, the republican presidential nominee 22:50:06 will either be Jeb bush, Rand Paul, or a bag of flour with 22:50:15 Ronald Reagan's face drawn on it. 22:50:16 [Laughter] People are asking, will Donald 22:50:22 Trump run again? The answer is does that thing on 22:50:28 his head in the woods. - Cr-p in the woods. 22:50:40 Speaking of digestive systems, Chris Christie is here. 22:50:42 He is actually here eerie, tonight. 22:50:52 You, sir, are a glutton -- for punishment. 22:51:01 They blocked the world George Washington bridge. 22:51:04 Finally, a politician willing to stand up to America's commuter. 22:51:11 Do you want bridge jokes or size jokes? 22:51:15 I know you like a combo platter. I get that. I am sorry for that 22:51:20 joke. I did know -- did not know I was 22:51:26 going to tell it. I take full responsibility for 22:51:31 it. Whoever wrote it will be fired. 22:51:33 I will be a man and own up to it. 22:51:35 I will get to the bottom of how it happened. 22:51:39 I was not aware it happened until just now. 22:51:42 I am appointing a blue-ribbon commission of me to investigate 22:51:45 the joke that I just told. I assure you I will be dealt 22:51:49 with. I just looked into it. 22:51:53 It turns out I am not responsible for it. 22:51:59 Justice has been served. [Laughter] 22:52:01 [Applause] He is going to kill me. 22:52:09 [Laughter] Mr. President, you are no 22:52:15 stranger to criticism eerie that Ted Nugent called you a subhuman 22:52:20 mongrel. It is comments like that that 22:52:23 makes us question whether we can take a guy who wrote "Wang dang 22:52:29 sweet? Seriously anymore. 22:52:38 Mitch McConnell said his number one priority was to get the 22:52:43 president out of office. Mitch, congratulations on being 22:52:48 just two years away from realizing your goal. 22:52:50 [Laughter] Mr. President, your harshest 22:52:55 critics have compared you to Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, -- 22:53:03 I have to say those comparisons are outrageous. 22:53:08 You look way older than those guys. 22:53:09 Just because Morgan Freeman has played the president does not 22:53:13 mean you have to act exactly like him. 22:53:19 Every year the white house Dr. Checks the white -- presidents: 22:53:28 For polyps and George Clooney's head. 22:53:31 [Laughter] It is good to see that white 22:53:38 house press secretary, boy detective jay carney, is here. 22:53:44 Big night for J. I have not seen you this nervous 22:53:49 since the president told him just go out there and tell them 22:53:54 the website is broken. [Laughter] 22:53:58 That actually probably was a moment. 22:53:58 That actually probably was a moment. 22:54:02 that you already have the launch of healthcare.gov a disaster. 22:54:10 It was bad. I don't have an analogy. 22:54:18 They say stuff like "I should not have eaten at sushi." 22:54:31 That latest Johnny Depp movie really health care.gov at the 22:54:33 box office. Thanks to Obamacare, or is the 22:54:46 president refers to it as me care, and millions of newly 22:54:52 insured young Americans can visit the doctor's office and 22:54:58 see what a print magazine actually looks like. 22:54:59 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:55:05 Now, over 8 million people have signed up for Obamacare. 22:55:08 That sounds impressive until you realize that -- 22:55:18 there is a lot going on in the world right now. 22:55:21 There is a madman who has had plastic surgery annexing small 22:55:26 countries in eastern Europe. What the hell is Bruce Jenner 22:55:31 doing in Crimea? Do they get that show their? 22:55:38 I do think you are making a big mistake with Putin. 22:55:40 You have to show a guy like that that you are just as crazy as he 22:55:42 is. He invades Crimea, you invade 22:55:46 Cancun. Russia takes back Ukraine, 22:55:51 America takes back Texas. Something to think about. 22:55:53 [Laughter] The new director of the secret 22:55:58 service is here tonight. Under her leadership, secret 22:56:04 service agents can longer consort with prostitutes that 22:56:11 are too drunk to make it to the program. 22:56:12 [Laughter] I am sure she loves that. 22:56:18 The director of national intelligence, James clapper, is 22:56:21 here. Finally I can put a face to the 22:56:27 mysterious voice clearing its throat on the other end of the 22:56:30 phone. That was weird. 22:56:33 I have been watching a lot of cable news. 22:56:35 I am a big fan of that lesbian on MSNBC. 22:56:44 Yeah, MSNBC is a confusing place. 22:56:49 Al Sharpton is there skinny guy. [Laughter] 22:56:54 CNN is desperately searching for something they have been missing 22:56:55 for months -- their dignity. Totally. 22:56:59 [Laughter] At this point, CNN is like the 22:57:06 radio shack in a strip mall. You don't know how it stayed in 22:57:11 business as long. They just fired piers Morgan. 22:57:16 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:57:19 Thank you. Fox News is the highest rated 22:57:25 network and cable news. [Applause] 22:57:36 It is all thanks to their key demographic, the old people that 22:57:44 have tuned into Fox News and have not yet been discovered. 22:57:47 Bill O'Reilly is not here. They'll has another book coming 22:57:52 out soon. He is making his ghost writers 22:57:56 work around the clock. This event brings together both 22:58:08 Washington and Hollywood. The relationship between 22:58:11 Washington and Hollywood has been a long and fruitful one. 22:58:14 You get tax credits for film and television production. 22:58:16 In return, we bring much-needed entertainment to hard-working 22:58:22 American cities like Vancouver, Toronto, and Vancouver again. 22:58:26 [Laughter] Hollywood helps America by 22:58:31 projecting a heroic image to the rest of the world. 22:58:33 We have just released another movie about captain America, or 22:58:37 as he is a known in China, captain who owes his $1.1 22:58:44 trillion. [Laughter] 22:58:49 Look around. The cast of "The." 22:58:55 -- "Veep." The folks from Dr. Dynasty had a 22:59:07 very challenging year. The grandfather on the 22:59:12 grandfather on that show made homophobic and racist remarks. 22:59:13 He really hates docs -- ducks. [Laughter] 22:59:23 "House of cards" has had great impact on Washington. 22:59:29 I have not seen a tour de force performance like that since. 22:59:40 You can drop character any time. I am not going to spite that 22:59:48 spoil the shocker on "House of cards." 22:59:49 Are -- Nancy Pelosi's face almost changed expression. 22:59:58 Did you like that one, Nancy? I would like to congratulate 23:00:02 Jared Leto on his Oscar. Who asked to be introduced to 23:00:15 that hot chick from "Dallas Buyers Club." 23:00:18 Richard Sherman has already had an impact on tonight's event. 23:00:28 He blocked all three attempts of Tim Tebow to pass the dinner 23:00:32 rolls. Peyton manning, it he wanted to 23:00:38 be here tonight, but could only move four yards at a time. 23:00:44 You're right. He is not here to defend 23:00:46 himself. Legendary actor Robert DeNiro is 23:00:50 here tonight. [Applause] 23:00:54 I don't do a DeNiro impression, 22:59:04 The folks from Dr. Dynasty had a very challenging year. 22:59:10 The grandfather on the grandfather on that show made 22:59:12 homophobic and racist remarks. He really hates docs -- ducks. 22:59:21 [Laughter] "House of cards" has had great 22:59:27 impact on Washington. I have not seen a tour de force 22:59:31 performance like that since. You can drop character any time. 22:59:43 I am not going to spite that spoil the shocker on "House of 22:59:48 cards." Are -- Nancy Pelosi's face 22:59:56 almost changed expression. Did you like that one, Nancy? 23:00:00 I would like to congratulate Jared letter -- O on his Oscar. 23:00:12 Who asked to be introduced to that hot chick from "Dallas 23:00:16 Buyers Club." Richard Sherman has already had 23:00:22 an impact on tonight's event. He blocked all three attempts of 23:00:31 Tim Tebow to pass the dinner rolls. 23:00:33 Peyton manning, it he wanted to be here tonight, but could only 23:00:41 move four yards at a time. You're right. 23:00:45 He is not here to defend himself. 23:00:49 Legendary actor Robert DeNiro is here tonight. 23:00:51 [Applause] I don't do a DeNiro impression, 23:00:57 but I do an impression of Robert yours agent. 23:01:02 He'll do it. [Laughter] 23:01:13 Mr. DeNiro, I am clearly beyond reproach. 23:01:21 I will see you on the set of "Spy kids five." 23:01:24 This stone him and the founder of Twitter, is here. 23:01:28 So if you congressmen want to cut out the middleman, just show 23:01:32 him your penis. Not now. 23:01:39 [Laughter] Those are my warm-up jokes. 23:01:43 I am kidding. I want to leave you tonight with 23:01:47 a bit of a pep talk. America has seen her share of 23:01:51 challenges, but as my agent told me when I booked an ABC sitcom, 23:01:56 "Things could be worse." Have you watch the news? 23:02:01 Not CNN, the real news. It is pretty bad in other 23:02:07 places. By comparison, America is doing 23:02:10 great. This year, after months of 23:02:14 debate and controversy, we have achieved something that has 23:02:18 impact the health of millions, we brought back wiki's. 23:02:24 We are not the fattest country in the world, Mexico is. 23:02:29 Don't worry, we will be the fattest country once everyone 23:02:35 comes over here. [Laughter] 23:02:40 A spoiler can sense of I have not been back to the village at 23:02:48 so don't tell me you survive the drone strike. 23:02:49 [Laughter] America still has amazing 23:02:52 technological innovations. Google glasses hit the market. 23:02:59 Now we will know exactly who to punch in the face. 23:03:00 [Laughter] In America, we see gluten in 23:03:04 peanuts as a threat. And other countries, gluten and 23:03:10 peanuts are the names of warlords. 23:03:14 America is doing just fine. I know that? 23:03:18 We are making a fourth movie about trucks that turn into 23:03:22 giant robots. Why? 23:03:28 There is still so much story left to tell. 23:03:29 [Laughter] Jenna, everyone. 23:03:33 This country is still number one. 23:03:37 Cream filled pastries, face computers, and robot trucks. 23:03:44 As to the economy and environment, we will get the 23:03:47 next time. Here is why America is the best 23:03:49 country in the world. A guy like me can stand for the 23:03:52 president, the press, and Patrick Duffy, and tell jokes 23:03:58 without severe repercussions. Instead of being shipped off to 23:04:02 a good log, I am going to the vanity fair after party. 23:04:06 This is America where everyone can be a Pussy Riot. 23:04:15 This is one of the coolest things. 23:04:17 Thank you Mr. President. Thank you. 23:04:22 Thank you, C-SPAN viewer. [Laughter] 23:04:27 [Applause] [Applause] 23:04:56 Thank you. Now, to bring our evening to a 23:05:03 close. I would like you all to remain 23:05:04 here while our next president escorts Mr. And Mrs. Obama from 23:05:12 our home. Thank you. Obama, Joel McHale deliver biting humor at the White House Correspondents' Dinner The glitchy rollout of HealthCare.gov and a contentious relationship with Congress might have bedeviled the White House over the past year, but at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner in Washington on Saturday night, President Obama milked them for comedic fodder. In the annual tradition of the president offering a sendup of the press, his rivals and often himself, Obama noted that House Republicans have been as tough on Speaker John A. Boehner (Ohio) as they had previously been on him. "Which proves that orange really is the new black," he said, to roars from the audience of 2,600 or so members of the media, Congress, visiting celebrities and others at the Washington Hilton. He was, of course, poking fun at the preternaturally tan Boehner who is a frequent target of Washington punch lines. The technical problems with the government's health-care Web site provided the inspiration for one of the year's most popular movies, Obama said. Then the poster for the animated film "Frozen" appeared on the large television screens.
WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER / CLEAN SWITCHED P3 / HD
SWITCHED POOL FEED WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENTS DINNER REMARKS W/ PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA AND JOEL MCHALE 21:40:38 WHCA President: Everybody have a seat. 21:40:48 Rest your feet. Ladies and gentlemen, we will 21:40:56 begin the program. We will start tonight with one 21:41:00 of our favorite parts, which is the awarding of our awards for 21:41:06 excellence in journalism. To help us with that is a valued 21:41:10 member of our board, Doug mills. A terrific photojournalists. 21:41:26 The first award of the night, the judges chose to winners this 21:41:34 year which recognizes excellence in white house coverage. 21:41:38 The winners are Brihanna Keeler. The next award recognizes 21:42:41 excellent work in both print and broadcast. 21:42:48 The print winner is peter baker of the New York times. 21:42:49 [Applause] And the broadcast winner is 21:42:57 peter Mayer of CBS news. [Applause] 21:43:30 The next award recognizes coverage of news or national and 21:43:38 regional significance. The judges chose to winners this 21:43:41 year. Megan Toney at Reuters. 21:43:52 [Applause] And the Center for Public 21:43:59 Integrity and Brian Ross of ABC News. [Brian Ross & Matt Mosk accept award] 21:44:08 [Applause] Ladies and gentlemen, we have 21:44:53 one more award. We normally just award those 21:44:58 three, but as part of the centennial of our association, I 21:45:00 am happy to announce that we have created the president's 21:45:02 award. It is an honor for exceptional 21:45:07 service to the members and groups of the white house 21:45:10 correspondents association and I am delighted to announce that 21:45:11 this first recipient will be George Condon junior. 21:45:16 [Applause] Thank you. 21:46:09 I want to talk for a minute about the video we are going to 21:46:13 show. Over the years, we have had a 21:46:16 lot of very funny videos. They have all been a lot of fun. 21:46:25 Because it was our centennial, I made a different choice. 21:46:29 I wanted to have a video about us, the white house 21:46:31 correspondents. Unfortunately, I had a grand 21:46:36 vision to do a lot and I found I was going to be -- it was going 21:46:40 to be a little more expensive than I hoped and it would take 21:46:43 money out of our scholarship fund. 21:46:47 Fortunately, in walked a woman from the A&E network eager to 21:46:50 talk to us about our scholarships. 21:46:53 We met with her. I said, you own the history 21:46:58 channel. I asked them if they would do a 21:47:03 video and the history of the presidency in the press and they 21:47:06 were very kind. I would like to show you that 21:47:11 video. [Applause] Video on history of the WHCA produced by A&E and voiced by Diane Sawyer 21:47:16 Thomas Jefferson said, a 21:47:22 government without a vibrant media of all sorts is not an 21:47:26 option for the United States of America. 21:47:29 They are the watchdogs, the historians, the daily observers 21:47:33 at the white house, an unofficial assembly of 21:47:36 journalists assigned to watch with clear eyes and breaking 21:47:40 news. They are the white house 21:47:43 correspondents association. Have you got an extra camera 21:47:49 in case the lights go out? Is the sound ok? 21:47:53 The founding fathers wrote this job into the constitution, 21:47:59 freedom of the press is in there for a reason. 21:48:02 Both houses of congress have had having a wonderful time. 21:48:09 I think the enduring principle remains that we exist 21:48:13 and we work to keep the eyes of the free press on the government 21:48:15 and on the president. Sometimes you do not like the 21:48:20 decisions I make and sometimes I do not like the way you write 21:48:22 about the decisions. I view the association as the 21:48:28 shop steward for correspondence. We deal with a lot of 21:48:34 logistics. We are the ones working on who 21:48:35 has a seat in the briefing room. That is beautiful. 21:48:46 One of the great things about our job is being there when 21:48:48 history is being made. The evolution of the presidency 21:49:05 has gone hand-in-hand with the evolution of the white house 21:49:06 press association and the relationship of the press to 21:49:07 politics. The presidency 21:49:09 has gone hand-in-hand with the evolution of the white house 21:49:10 in letting folks know what the 21:49:11 white house is all about. Did you make a mistake, sir? 21:49:13 I am not taking any more questions. 21:49:14 I always try to put myself in their position. 21:49:17 They have a difficult job to do. With every president, the 21:49:28 relationship is constantly changing, but there is an 21:49:32 unchanging quest for the correspondents association and 21:49:34 it is a simple word -- access. We have to continue for those 21:49:42 doors and windows to remain open so that you can see an account 21:49:45 of history. We are not through this. 21:49:48 -- Period. We cannot go back to a more 21:49:58 polarized world where somebody can put the hammer down, this is 21:50:03 the way it is going to be and you cannot say anything. 21:50:06 If you try to, I will cut you off or put you in jail. 21:50:10 People have to be informed. What is the matter with these 21:50:16 clowns? Are there going to be 21:50:17 governments to try to be more insulated? 21:50:20 It is important to push back on that. 21:50:23 The association is a good for him for reminding reporters that 21:50:27 they also work for the public. They also have responsibility to 21:50:34 the American people. Press is an institutional 21:50:38 part of the white house and should always be an 21:50:40 institutional part. Every government needs a 21:50:41 watchdog. We never win, we never lose, 21:50:44 it is just a constant struggle. Like so many of the struggles 21:50:52 inside the beltway, this one started as a turf battle. 21:50:54 In 1914 on capitol hill. All of the press conferences 21:50:59 were donated by the violence in Mexico. 21:51:02 There was no controls over who attended those press 21:51:05 conferences. Congress tried to move in on the 21:51:10 white house. They wanted to become the one 21:51:15 that would help resident Woodrow Wilson start having regular 21:51:17 press conferences and selecting who would attend. 21:51:20 A select group of journalists was formed. 21:51:30 Looking back 100 years and think the pictures and hearing 21:51:30 Looking back 100 years and think the pictures and hearing 21:51:32 The organization was started by a group of white men, not women, 21:51:36 not minorities, but a group of white men. 21:51:44 Franklin Roosevelt was the first president to allow a black 21:51:45 correspondent into a white house press conference. 21:51:51 Harry McAlpin became the first African-American white 21:51:58 house correspondent. In his honor, the association 21:51:59 has established a scholarship for young and aspiring 21:52:04 journalists. We always had women members. 21:52:10 But we would not let them attend their dinner. 21:52:12 The general attitude was this was a stag event. 21:52:17 A sense that women journalists almost did not 21:52:19 belong. It was not until three women 21:52:24 reporters on including Helen Thomas, and to John F. Kennedy 21:52:29 and said, we would like you to help us get into this dinner. 21:52:32 Asked Kennedy said, tell me I'm not attending the dinner unless 21:52:36 women are allowed. All of a sudden, it changed. 21:52:41 We do nothing but body jokes now. 21:52:46 Well 99% of the correspondence job is working 21:52:53 the beat, there is 190 year when serious Washington -- one night 21:52:59 a year when serious Washington can make fun of itself. 21:53:02 We started the dinner in the 1920's. 21:53:06 It was not televised in the did not have Hollywood celebrities, 21:53:09 but it did have inner chambers. -- Entertainers. 21:53:16 Somebody doing animal impressions. 21:53:19 Now we have one entertainer. I was toying with the idea of 21:53:24 having a juggler. What is the key to navigating 21:53:27 the treacherous waters of Washington humor? 21:53:32 Winging it. Improvise a lot and see what 21:53:38 happens. Three models, one who do 21:53:41 politics and get it right. Anyone I'm excited to roast? 21:53:47 If Putin is there. I could say something really 21:53:56 dirty, but I probably shouldn't. And people who avoid politics 21:53:59 like the plague. Mif little guy? 21:54:04 -- Am I a political guy? You're supposed to keep it 21:54:11 clean. You're supposed to keep it 21:54:13 self-deprecating. Frank Sinatra, Jimmy Durante, 21:54:17 Fanny Brice. This year, it is me. 21:54:21 What did you know that the president will be there? -- Did 21:54:26 you know that the president will be there? 21:54:28 He is opening for you. It is the place where a 21:54:35 president can bring down the house. 21:54:37 Known as the prom of Washington, a term coined by 21:54:42 political reporters who clearly never had the chance to go to an 21:54:44 actual prom. Presents will think, this is 21:54:50 the chance to make fun of the press. 21:54:52 That is not what you do. You go to make fun of yourself. 21:54:57 You have to show that you can take it. 21:54:59 It is not easy to do standup comedy at one of these dinners. 21:55:03 Jay Leno was here. We give hope to gray-haired 21:55:10 chunky baby boomers everywhere. We don't want people to be 21:55:16 insulted. We want people to be teased. 21:55:18 You not make fun of the press because they cannot take it. 21:55:24 They don't want to hear it. Laughter aside, the first and 21:55:30 foremost mission of the association dinner is to promote 21:55:33 journalism, education for the scholarship fund. 21:55:39 Your attendance allows us to give back to the students. 21:55:42 As this dinner has grown and grown over the years, it has 21:55:46 generated more revenue for this very important scholarship. 21:55:51 The main reason we're there is for the scholarship and to 21:55:55 help these young people. They are remarkable folks full 21:55:57 of energy. We want to welcome Curtis 21:56:01 Macleod. It gives them hope to say, 21:56:07 there is a resource for me. Are provided such an 21:56:13 unforgettable experience for me. It was such a tremendous honor. 21:56:19 Still a future in journalism. It is going through a lot of 21:56:22 changes. I hope it'll be around for 21:56:28 another 100 years. Whether it is Twitter or the 21:56:35 typewriter, correspondents association continues to deliver 21:56:39 its message, covering the white house, standing century, sending 21:56:42 out the news in an ever changing media landscape. 21:56:46 We have seen the start of radio, we have seen the advent 21:56:52 of television. We have seen internet as a tool. 21:57:00 The white house has a television -- a telephone system 21:57:02 that has been there since president Carter. 21:57:07 One thing I often like to say is that speed kills because we 21:57:12 are racing faster and faster to get raw information in front of 21:57:15 the public. Reporters are under such 21:57:19 stress from their editors. Reporters cannot wait and can 21:57:25 not digest anymore. The point of view from the 21:57:28 reader. Is it accurate? 21:57:32 We are dealing with multiple time Zones, everything is in 21:57:36 real time. The questions we ask are still 21:57:39 the same. It is important that there is a 21:57:44 hodgepodge because it is not just all about that one story. 21:57:48 It is about stories around the world. 21:57:53 That brings together this one group. 21:57:56 I hope that 100 years from now and we are celebrating the 21:58:00 next anniversary, we will still have a room at the white house 21:58:05 with people asking the president or his staff questions every day 21:58:08 and explaining it to people. The dissemination of the news 21:58:11 will change, the media will change, but the journalism will 21:58:14 not change. This is a great window on the 21:58:18 world. Our democracy does not work 21:58:21 until -- unless -- if you do not have that interaction, you do 21:58:27 not have a true rocker see. -- Democracy. End of video 21:58:33 [Applause] WHCA President: I want to take an extra 21:58:44 second and thank Nancy, who is the CEO of the A&E networks. 21:58:50 [Applause] Their crews worked on this for 21:58:55 months at no cost out of our scholarship fund and it was a 21:59:01 great service to our association. 21:59:04 I want to thank Diane sawyer who agreed to do the voiceover for 21:59:06 us. [Applause] 21:59:09 I want to thank politico who lent us some of their photos and 21:59:14 I want to thank our colleagues who participated, all of the 21:59:23 press secretaries who agreed to be interviewed, and president 21:59:25 Obama and Clinton, who agreed to be interviewed for that. 21:59:28 Thank you very much. [Applause] 21:59:35 I want to talk for a minute just about the state of play. 21:59:39 I want to thank my family. My wife, Denise. 21:59:44 I sons, jack, Jim, and Ryan for all of their help and support, 21:59:50 particularly for this last year but for the last Wendy five. 21:59:55 -- 25. I want to thank our Washington 21:59:58 bureau and their commitment to journalism in Washington and 22:00:04 around the world. It allows us to keep doing work 22:00:05 that allows is -- needs to be done. 22:00:07 I want to thank my colleagues Lesley Clark and David Goldstein 22:00:16 because they have basically covered it well I turned this 22:00:18 job into a full-time job and they have done all the briefings 22:00:22 and travel I have not been able to do and I could not have done 22:00:25 it without them. I want to thank 22:00:26 Our board -- this board. Our board is a collection of the 22:00:35 most terrific people you ever see. 22:00:36 They had a pool issue trying to get into a certain country and 22:00:42 three or four members on the other side of the planet and 22:00:43 some of us here working around the clock with the white house 22:00:45 and they keep the wheels going so we can do our jobs. 22:00:49 I want to particularly thank Christi Parsons. 22:00:53 She is our vice president this year. 22:00:54 [Applause] 22:00:59 She does more work in keeping the pool moving -- and we all 22:01:06 know what the pool is, the group that gets closest and keeps 22:01:09 their eyes on the president -- it is sometimes a 22:01:13 three-dimensional chess board and she does a wonderful job. 22:01:14 She will be our president next year and we are in very good 22:01:17 hands. I want to quickly think George. 22:01:21 You don't hear him -- here his name a lot. 22:01:28 He is our attorney. He works pro Bono. 22:01:29 [Applause] He is a terrific first amendment 22:01:35 attorney and has been the liaison between us and the rest 22:01:36 of the journalism community in some of the where we have done 22:01:40 on access. We will continue on with 22:01:44 journalism schools. Our friend Lucy is with us 22:01:50 tonight. George has done a terrific job. 22:01:51 Thank you, George. And I want to thank Julie 22:01:54 Lister. Those of us involved at avenue 22:02:01 known Julie Liston for a long time. 22:02:05 We put this dinner on with a paid staff of one. 22:02:07 She does it with the help of some friend, or Dave -- her 22:02:12 brave husband, Dave Liston. We could not have this dinner 22:02:17 without Julie Liston. This year I kept piling extra 22:02:24 work for her for the centennial. We have added panels that we 22:02:29 normally do not do. We would not have made it to 100 22:02:32 years without Julie Liston. I want to thank my peers in the 22:02:37 white house press corps for this honor. 22:02:38 It has been a great thing. I want to take a minute and 22:02:41 introduce some people in the room. 22:02:42 I would like you to stand and stay standing. 22:02:47 Hold on for a second. I want all the past presidents 22:02:51 of the white house correspondents association to 22:02:52 please stand and stay standing. [Applause] 22:02:57 Hold off. Stay standing. 22:03:03 I would like everyone who has ever been elected or served on 22:03:06 our board to stand and stay standing. 22:03:07 [Applause] I would like everyone who covers 22:03:11 the beach today, goes to the briefings and the trips, sits in 22:03:15 the pool, to please stand. [Applause] 22:03:17 I would like everyone who has ever covered a briefing at the 22:03:22 white house and worked this beat to please stand. 22:03:25 [Applause] And finally, I would like our 22:03:29 scholarship winners and all of the journalism students in the 22:03:33 room to please stand. [Applause] 22:03:39 We welcome all our guests to this dinner. 22:03:44 There has been a lot of attention paid to the people 22:03:46 that come here and we welcome them all, the stars of fashion 22:03:50 or sports or entertainment, but ladies and gentlemen, these are 22:03:54 the white house correspondents. These are the people whose name 22:03:56 is on the dinner. [Applause] 22:04:04 We refer to it in a little bit individual -- in the video. 22:04:09 We are going through a major and significant change in the media. 22:04:11 First, as you notice from the old actress -- old pictures, 22:04:16 they were all white men, white presidents, too. 22:04:22 Now our correspondent organization is a half women. 22:04:27 Our board is half women. We have faces of color. 22:04:30 We have new media all over the room. 22:04:33 Olivia Knox from Yahoo! News is on our board. 22:04:38 This year, we added for the first time to the press pool a 22:04:42 gay newspaper. We have new voices. 22:04:46 For the first time ever, we had a foreign reporter joining us on 22:04:49 air force one for a trip. In our briefing room, if you 22:04:53 listen, you will hear foreign accents asking questions of our 22:04:56 government. You will hear a Russian accent. 22:04:59 You will hear other accents. You will not hear that and many 22:05:03 places in the world. This is America at its best. 22:05:06 [Applause] There are sometimes differing 22:05:11 views of what this free press can do great there is the noble 22:05:13 view. He president referred to Thomas 22:05:16 Jefferson in our video and we share that view. 22:05:19 Sometimes, the view of the people on the receiving end -- I 22:05:21 found a quote from the late actress grace Kelly. 22:05:26 She said, the freedom of press works in such a way -- there is 22:05:29 not really much freedom from the press. 22:05:31 That is true. We try to keep as many eyes as 22:05:38 possible on them. They do not always want us in 22:05:40 the room. This has never been truer than 22:05:42 today. A changing media gives us more 22:05:46 tools but allows the government to send its own messages direct 22:05:51 to people in ways that we find challenging. 22:05:54 It is certainly a thing president assesses to the 22:05:59 president would have envied -- predecessors to the president 22:06:05 would have envied and liked themselves. 22:06:07 We like their photographers and video crews. 22:06:08 We do not want to kick them out. We just want to be in the room, 22:06:11 too. [Applause] 22:06:15 When we are all paying attention to the government and asking 22:06:18 questions, we are all the better for it and it is a bragging 22:06:21 point for democracy. I want to turn for a minute and 22:06:25 talk a little bit about Harry McAlpin. 22:06:27 It was seven years ago he walked into the oval office and he was 22:06:32 the first lack reporter -- black reporter ever to attend a 22:06:38 presidential press conference. I am very happy to have you 22:06:41 here. Not everyone was so happy. 22:06:46 This association was not at all happy that he walked into the 22:06:48 oval office. We had denied membership to 22:06:50 blacks. We had rigged the role so they 22:06:55 could not participate. FDR did that on his own. 22:07:01 Tonight, we are announcing and creating a new scholarship, the 22:07:06 Harry McAlpin scholarship. [Applause] 22:07:15 By dedicating one of her scholarships to him, we not only 22:07:17 denies his historic role and one that we hope will inspire young 22:07:23 journalist, we acknowledge our own history. 22:07:25 Harry went on after his white house years. 22:07:28 That was just part of his story. He was a war or responded in the 22:07:32 south pacific at a time when the military was still segregated. 22:07:36 He went to law school, moved to Kentucky, led the NAACP there, 22:07:43 marched with Martin Luther king on the capital. 22:07:49 Harry died in 1975 never having gain membership to this 22:07:53 organization. Today, we possibly --'S to 22:07:57 mislead -- posthumously award him membership. 22:08:05 [Applause] Sherman, his son, when you stand 22:08:13 -- will you stand? He is here with his wife. 22:08:17 Joann, what you stand? And his daughter, Sasha. 22:08:22 Please make them feel welcome. [Applause] 22:08:41 We will present that and the scholarships. 22:08:45 To do that, April Ryan will be coming up and be joined by the 22:08:48 first lady, Michelle Obama. [Applause] 22:08:54 Good evening, everyone. What a wonderful evening for the 22:09:03 centennial scholarship awards. Are you having a good time 22:09:05 tonight? [Applause] 22:09:09 [Laughter] I just found out tonight that 22:09:16 this lady has jokes. That is all right. 22:09:20 Without further ado, we would like to bring forth our 22:09:22 scholarship centennial awardees and we would like to start with 22:09:26 the Harry McAlpin junior scholarship. 22:09:29 Yes, you may clap. [Applause] 22:09:32 It is a one-time award of $7,000. 22:09:35 This year's winner is a student from Howard university in 22:09:41 Washington DC. Let us welcome to the stage 22:09:48 Glenn hill of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 22:09:49 [Applause] [Laughter] 22:10:17 Once again, Glenn hill of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 22:10:20 Howard university. [Applause] 22:10:28 Now it is time for the white house correspondents association 22:10:31 scholarship prize. It is a one-time award of 22:10:34 $7,000. This year's recipients are two 22:10:38 students from Howard university in Washington, D C. 22:10:41 Victoria walker of Virginia. [Applause] 22:11:15 Next, the Deborah Warren scholarship. 22:11:16 The reciprocal of this Deborah Warren scholarship art two 22:11:21 current students from the McDill school of journalism. 22:11:31 Caroline of north Hanover Massachusetts. 22:11:37 [Applause] And Karen Galbreth of Illinois. 22:11:47 [Applause] Next, from Columbia university, 22:12:02 New York, New York. [Applause] 22:12:06 The white house correspondents association awarded a $5,000 22:12:09 tuition grant in 2013 to 2014 to Dina from Cairo, Egypt from 22:12:21 Columbia university. [Applause] 22:12:28 Also, the university of Missouri. 22:12:30 The white house correspondents association supported seven 22:12:35 graduate students for $2500 per student to study in Washington 22:12:42 DC for a semester as part of the university of mystery Bosch 22:12:44 established -- Missouri josh well-established program. 22:12:52 The recipients are Kevin Dubois. Philip Hawkins of Oklahoma City, 22:13:03 Oklahoma. Yi of Hong Kong. 22:13:16 Jenny rice of San Diego, California. 22:13:25 Mulin Jeong of China. The white house correspondents 22:13:41 association supports a student at the McDill school of 22:13:42 journalism with a $5,000 gift for a postgraduate student in 22:13:48 the government and journalism tracker -- track. 22:13:56 That goes to Brian to Santos from northwestern university. 22:14:09 The white house correspondents association supports a student 22:14:10 at the university of California at earthly to a $5,000 gift 22:14:14 towards a postgraduate degree for a student in the government 22:14:18 and public affairs supporting track. 22:14:22 That is Jennifer chase. I'm sorry if I am messing your 22:14:25 name up. Of Sacramento, California. 22:14:31 [Applause] The university of California at 22:14:38 Berkeley. On the university -- 22:14:45 next, the university of Maryland journalism college fund, some 22:14:49 own Thomas -- Simone Thomas. [Applause] 22:14:59 Those are our own warnings for this evening. 22:15:03 [Applause] Let's -- awardings for this 22:15:11 evening. Let's give them a big round of 22:15:12 applause. [Applause] 22:15:16 Have a great evening and laugh hard and a lot. 22:15:21 [Applause] Thank you, April. 22:15:28 Thank you, Mrs. Obama. If you have a glass near, I 22:15:32 would like you to raise a glass with me. 22:15:36 I would like to propose a toast. Our one official toast of the 22:15:41 evening, to the president of the United States of America. 22:15:42 [Cheers] And finally, for me, I would 22:15:53 like to introduce the president of the United States by 22:15:59 introducing the vice president of the United States. Veep Video with Joe Biden and Julia Louis Dreyfus 22:16:06 [Laughter] Hello? 22:16:16 Joanna? What are you doing? 22:16:19 I thought you were the president. 22:16:23 Listen, are you going to this boring dinner tonight? 22:16:29 No, I'm not going. I have been there once. 22:16:35 It is a bunch of politicians trying to explain politics to 22:16:38 Hollywood. Who wants to see David 22:16:41 Gregory crying in the corner all night? 22:16:43 Do you want to come and pick me -- 22:16:46 [ horn honks] Up? 22:16:53 Yellow? Seriously, yellow? 22:16:56 Get in the car. Is anybody looking? 22:17:07 Check for me. I can remember that. 22:17:13 Oh, yeah. Shh. 22:17:19 Whoa. Don't touch the desk. 22:17:25 , On. Let's get something to eat. 22:17:30 This is good. My granddaughters like the 22:17:32 sprinkles. This is like the sweetest 22:17:35 thing you can get in the executive branch. 22:17:36 Hey, guys. What are you doing? 22:17:39 Nothing. What is in your mouth? 22:17:43 Carrots. Haven't you guys listen to 22:17:48 anything I have said about healthy eating? 22:17:50 Handed over. Hand it over. 22:17:55 Let's move. Ok. 22:18:00 Busted. You can say that again. 22:18:09 I just forgot my purse. I'm sure there are reasons in 22:18:19 here. It's a fruit. 22:18:24 Plus, it is more than they give you at that correspondents 22:18:26 dinner. Plus, I work out every day. 22:18:28 Sure you do. I do too. 22:18:30 Do you want to arm wrestle? I don't really work out. 22:18:35 I didn't think so. Where we headed next? 22:18:41 We can write any headline we want? 22:18:42 Knock yourself out. Go to it. 22:18:45 The headline I would like to write is Selena miles, voted in 22:18:52 as president. All in good time. 22:18:57 Yes, we can all look directly into the camera, and Kevin. 22:19:06 hi, Joe. 22:19:31 What are you doing here? Getting my tattoo done. 22:19:34 You know the difference between the tattoo and the Koch 22:19:39 brothers? They are both painful, but you 22:19:42 can get rid of a tattoo. All right, let's do it. 22:19:47 Bring it on. 22:19:55 Oh, yeah. Bring it on. 22:20:01 Hey, girl. Hey j-dog, are you going to 22:20:09 this dinner tonight? Hell no I'm not going. 22:20:16 I have important things to do in the capital. 22:20:18 Ok. I need to go to the dinner. 22:20:25 I am not really a VP but you are. 22:20:27 I am an actress from Hollywood. I know. 22:20:28 Can you give me a ride? The secret service does not 22:20:34 let me drive off the property. That make sense. 22:20:35 We can get a cab. I've got my 22:20:42 I have got my dress and this hair. 22:20:46 Things a million, Joe. Good luck. 22:20:49 [applause] President Barack Obama: 22:21:17 Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States. 22:21:23 [Applause] Thank you. 22:21:34 Thank you so much. Thank you very much. 22:21:40 Thank you. .Gif -- thank U so much. 22:21:48 Everyone, have a seat. Before I get started, can we get 22:21:52 the new presidential set up out here? 22:21:55 [laughter] 22:22:08 It has worked before. [Laughter] 22:22:11 That is more like it. It is great to be back. 22:22:16 What a year, huh? I usually start these dinners 22:22:22 with a few self-deprecating jokes. 22:22:24 After my stellar 2013, what can I possibly talk about? 22:22:28 [Laughter] I admit it -- last year was 22:22:36 rough. Sheesh. 22:22:38 [Laughter] At one point, things got so bad, 22:22:44 the 47% called Mitt Romney to apologize. 22:22:48 [Laughter] Of course, we rolled out 22:22:58 healthcare.gov. That could have gone better. 22:23:01 [Laughter] In 2008, my slogan was "Yes, we 22:23:10 can." In 2013, my slogan was "Control, 22:23:20 alt, delete." [Laughter] 22:23:24 On the plus side, they did turn the launch of healthcare.gov 22:23:27 into the year's biggest movies. [Laughter] 22:23:39 But rather than dwell on the past and I would like to pivot 22:23:42 to this news. Let's welcome our headliner this 22:23:47 evening, Joel McHale. [Applause] 22:23:53 On "Community," jolt plays a self-obsessed narcissist, so 22:24:01 this dinner must be a real change of pace for you. 22:24:02 [Laughter] I want to thank the white house 22:24:08 correspondents association for hosting us here tonight. 22:24:10 I am happy to be here, even though I am a little jetlagged 22:24:14 for my trip to Malaysia. The links we have to go to 22:24:17 get CNN coverage these days. [Laughter] 22:24:24 [Applause] I think they are still searching 22:24:34 for their tables. [Laughter] 22:24:36 [Applause] Msnbc is here. 22:24:45 [Applause] They are a little overwhelm the. 22:24:50 They have never seen an audience this big before. 22:24:51 [Laughter] Look, everyone is trying to keep 22:25:03 up with this incredibly fast-changing media landscape. 22:25:07 For example, I got a lot of grief on cable news for 22:25:10 promoting Obamacare to young people on "Between two ferns." 22:25:16 That is what don't people like to watch. 22:25:22 To be fair, I am not the first person on television between two 22:25:25 potted plants. [Laughter] 22:25:27 [Applause] Sometimes I do feel disrespected 22:25:42 by you reporters. But that is ok. 22:25:48 Seattle Seahawks' cornerback Richard Sherman is here tonight 22:25:52 and he gave me a great tip on how to handle it. 22:25:58 Jake tapper, don't you ever talk about me like that. 22:26:01 I am the best president in the game. 22:26:04 Was that good? [Laughter] 22:26:08 A little bit more feeling next time? 22:26:09 [Laughter] What we are talking sports, just 22:26:15 last month, a wonderful story. An American won the Boston 22:26:22 marathon for the first time in 30 years. 22:26:23 [Applause] Which was inspiring and only 22:26:30 fair since a Kenyan has been president for the last six. 22:26:40 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:26:43 We have to even things out. We have other athletes here 22:26:50 tonight, like Olympic gold medal snowboarders Jamie Anderson is 22:26:54 here. We are proud of her. 22:26:58 Michele and I watch the live experience we cannot believe 22:27:05 what they do. Death-defying feats. 22:27:23 As a general rule, things don't end well if the senate starts. 22:27:32 " Let me tell you something I know about the Negro." 22:27:39 You don't really need to hear the rest of it. 22:27:41 [Laughter] Just a tip for you. 22:27:50 Don't start your sentence that way. 22:27:52 [Laughter] Speaking of Rand Paul, -- 22:28:06 [laughter] Colorado legalized marijuana 22:28:14 this year. An interesting social 22:28:15 experiment. I do hope it does not lead to a 22:28:20 bunch of paranoid people that thinks the federal government is 22:28:24 out to get them and listening to their phone calls. 22:28:25 [Laughter] That would be a problem. 22:28:27 [Laughter] And speaking of secure -- 22:28:33 speaking of conservative heroes, the Koch brothers bought a cable 22:28:39 here tonight, but they use the shadowy right-wing organization 22:28:43 as a front. Hello, Fox News. 22:28:45 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:28:47 I'm just getting. Let's face it, fox, you'll miss 22:28:53 me when I'm gone. [Laughter] 22:28:56 It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary 22:28:58 was born in Kenya. [Laughter] 22:29:02 [Applause] A lot of us really are concerned 22:29:14 about the weight the money is influencing our politics. 22:29:20 I remember a super pack with me buying a Marlboro 100s instead 22:29:25 of regulars. [Laughter] 22:29:30 Now that it is 2014, Washington is obsessed on the midterms. 22:29:34 Folks are saying that with my sagging poll Numbers, my fellow 22:29:39 democrats don't really want me campaigning with them. 22:29:44 I don't think that is true, although I did notice the other 22:29:47 day that Sasha needed a 22:30:25 I understand America's teenage boys are signing up. 22:30:35 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:30:39 I will be focused on everyday Americans. 22:30:44 Just yesterday I read a heartbreaking letter. 22:30:46 I get letters from folks around the country every day. 22:30:51 This went got me to a Virginia man was stuck in the same 22:30:57 part-time job for years. There was no chance to get 22:30:59 ahead. [Laughter] 22:31:04 [Applause] I am feeling sorry, believe and 22:31:20 not, for the speaker of the house. 22:31:24 The house republicans give John Boehner a harder time than they 22:31:26 give me. [Laughter] 22:31:31 [Applause] I have not given up the idea of 22:31:53 working with congress. In fact, to weeks ago, senator 22:31:56 Ted Cruz and I -- I have to say the signing ceremony was 22:32:02 something special. [Laughter] 22:32:15 I know. Washington seems more 22:32:20 dysfunctional than ever. Greg Locke is gotten so bad in 22:32:24 this town what did we do to pass off Chris Christie so bad -- piss 22:32:41 off Chris Christie so bad? I am beginning to think they 22:32:50 have a point. If you don't want to get paid 22:32:57 for working, you should run for congress like everybody else. 22:33:02 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:33:05 There is one thing that keeps republicans busy. 22:33:08 They have tried more than 50 times to reveal a bomber care. 22:33:12 Despite that, more than 7 million people have signed up. 22:33:19 [Applause] How well does Obamacare have to 22:33:27 work before you don't want to repeal it? 22:33:32 What if your yearly checkup came with tickets to a clipper's 22:33:40 game. Not the Donald Sterling Clippers 22:33:47 the Oprah Clippers. What is it going to take? 22:34:02 Anyway, this year I have promised to use more executive 22:34:08 actions to get things done without congress. 22:34:12 It is called the imperial presidency. 22:34:15 I have to show up every day at my office and do my job. 22:34:18 We have a picture of this? [Laughter] 22:34:22 [Applause] You would think they would 22:34:33 appreciate a more assertive approach, especially considering 22:34:41 that the new conservative darling is Vladimir Putin. 22:34:46 I know it sounds crazy. They'll give those to just about 22:34:53 anybody these days. It could happen. 22:34:55 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:35:01 Rudy Giuliani said Putin is what you would call a leader. 22:35:10 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:35:23 Look it up. They talk about it a lot. 22:35:24 [Laughter] It is strange to think that I 22:35:31 have two and a half years left in this office. 22:35:38 There are reminders that I only hold this job temporary. 22:35:43 [Laughter] It is a long time between now 22:35:49 and 2016. You may have heard the other day 22:35:53 that Hillary Clinton ducked issue at a press conference. 22:35:55 [Laughter] I love that picture. 22:36:11 Regardless of what happens, I am on my last campaign. 22:36:15 I'm beginning to think about my legacy. 22:36:17 Some of you know that a high school is being named after me 22:36:24 in Chicago. Rick. 22:36:29 -- Rick Perry is doing the same thing in Texas. Take a look. 22:36:35 [Laughter] It means a lot to me. 22:36:44 I intend to enjoy all the free time that I will have. 22:36:48 George W. Bush took up painting. It inspired me to take up own 22:36:56 artistic side. I am sure we have a shot of 22:37:01 this. Maybe not. 22:37:08 The joke does not work without the slide. 22:37:08 The joke does not work without the slide. 22:37:12 Assume that it was funny. [Laughter] 22:37:18 Does this happen to you Joel? On a serious note, tonight 22:37:28 reminds us that we are lucky to live in a country where 22:37:31 reporters can give a head of state a hard time. 22:37:37 And then give him the chance to return the favor. 22:37:41 We also know that not every journalist is so fortunate. 22:37:46 Even as we celebrate tonight, our thoughts are with those in 22:37:54 places like Ukraine and Afghanistan. 22:37:57 People who risk everything, risk their lives to report the news. 22:38:08 The fight for full and fair access goes beyond the chance to 22:38:14 ask a question. Decades ago an African-American 22:38:20 might be barred from journalism school. 22:38:25 After years of effort, black editors and publishers began 22:38:32 meeting. They met with the president 22:38:35 himself. Even when one made history, he 22:38:46 was not always welcomed by the other reporters, but he was 22:38:49 welcomed by the president. I'm very happy to have you here. 22:39:01 He made history. We are so proud of him and his 22:39:08 family. [Applause] 22:39:21 For over 100 years, even as the white house correspondents 22:39:30 association tells the story of progress, you have limited two. 22:39:38 Yes, radio television and internet reporters as well. 22:39:42 You make sure that our fundamental commitment to 22:39:48 between the action -- interaction between those who 22:39:52 govern it sustained. Because this is the 100th 22:40:04 anniversary, I actually recorded an additional brief video 22:40:10 thanking you for all your hard work. 22:40:14 Congratulations. What is going on? 22:40:21 I was told this would work. This anybody know how to fix 22:40:25 this? [Kathleen Sebelius walks out with laptop] Thank you. 22:40:29 [Laughter] Do you have it? 22:40:35 I got this. There. 22:40:45 Here is to 100 more years. Thank you very much, 22:40:53 everybody.. Bless you. [Applause] 22:41:06 [Laughter] [Laughter] 22:41:10 [Applause] Ladies and gentlemen, now 22:41:23 that you've had the warm-up, Joel McHale. 22:41:26 [Laughter] [Applause] Joel McHale 22:41:33 Here we go. I am the last person standing 22:41:38 between you and your after party. 22:41:43 In just one hour and 15 minutes you will be walking out of here, 22:41:47 all right? I'm going to break the record. 22:41:52 Strap in. Good evening, Mr. President. As 22:41:55 Paul Ryan refers you, just another intercity my warty 22:42:01 relying on the government to feed and house your family. 22:42:03 [Laughter] I am a big friend of president 22:42:08 Obama. I think he is one of the 22:42:09 all-time great presidents, definitely in the top 50. 22:42:12 [Laughter] Please explain that to Jessica 22:42:17 Simpson. You are right, that was low. 22:42:23 [Applause] It is -- it is amazing that you 22:42:33 can bring it with fresh material. 22:42:35 My favorite bit of yours is when you said you would close the 22:42:41 detention facility at Guantanamo bay. 22:42:44 That was hilarious. Still going. 22:42:47 [Laughter] I would like to take a moment to 22:42:52 recognize the first lady. You are very kind to me and my 22:42:57 family, especially when you showed us how to tear a phone 22:43:01 book in half with your hands. [Laughter] 22:43:04 I would also like to thank the white house correspondents 22:43:08 association for having me and not being able to book jimmy 22:43:10 Fallon. That is true. 22:43:13 [Laughter] It has been a long night. 22:43:17 I promise that tonight will be both amusing and over quickly 22:43:25 like Chris Christie's presidential bid. 22:43:28 Buckle up, governor risky. -- Christie. 22:43:36 [Laughter] I deserve that. 22:43:39 I agree on that one. Allow me to tell you a little 22:43:46 bit about myself. My name is Joel McHale. 22:43:48 I am on a show called "Community." 22:43:51 [Laughter] That is exactly what I thought. 22:43:58 I also host a show called "The soup." 22:44:03 To republicans in attendance, E is a channel that you're 22:44:10 deeply closeted gay son wants to watch. 22:44:17 Eat - E is also home to the Kardassians. 22:44:26 They are trying to screw black people. 22:44:29 [Laughter] Now just the man. 22:44:33 [Laughter] It is an honor to be here 22:44:37 tonight. I am tingling with excitement. 22:44:43 Maybe that is just a bedbug. [Laughter] 22:44:46 I hope you all enjoyed your dinner. 22:44:49 It was grass Fred the freshly dragged off the ranch. 22:44:58 The stakes are very tasty once you pull off the tiny white 22:45:01 hoods. [Laughter] 22:45:04 Let the record show. My show is being broadcast on 22:45:09 C-SPAN. C-SPAN is like one of those 22:45:13 paranormal activity movies. It is grainy shots of empty 22:45:19 rooms interrupted by shots of people that you pretty sure died 22:45:22 a few years ago. [Laughter] 22:45:29 Stay tuned, after the correspondents dinner, for in 22:45:31 new C-SPAN show, "So you think you can remain conscious." 22:45:39 This is the 100th year of the white house correspondents 22:45:44 association. [Applause] 22:45:47 100 years ago the CNN was only searching for the right brothers 22:45:51 plane. [Laughter] 22:45:57 The correspondents dinner itself is a tradition dating back to 22:45:58 1920. Back then, this event was only 22:46:01 for men. There is a plaque in the lobby 22:46:06 commemorating this as the location of the very first total 22:46:09 sausage fest. [Laughter] 22:46:18 #Total sausagefest. [Laughter] 22:46:25 Here you'll find all 19 nationalities contained within 22:46:32 Arianna Huffington's accent. [Laughter] 22:46:35 It is a general and thrilled to be here in Washington DC. 22:46:39 It is the city that started the whole crack smoking mayor craze. 22:46:42 [Laughter] You guys were the first. 22:46:49 I hope he is not here tonight. People say that Toronto mayor 22:46:55 rob Ford is a mess. He can't help it. 22:47:00 He's like a bull and a crack pipe shop. 22:47:04 You just want to tell Canada "Relax, we already have a 22:47:10 Florida." [Laughter] 22:47:14 Ted Cruz propose a government shutdown. 22:47:18 Everyone else and congress decided to go along with this to 22:47:23 get some time away from Ted Cruz. 22:47:24 The key party is anti-socialism and anti-immigration. 22:47:31 It makes sense that their hero is a Cuban from Canada. 22:47:34 That one was poignant. The vice president is in Kiev 22:47:40 tonight. He thought this event was being 22:47:47 held at the Dulles airport Applebee's. 22:47:50 He is talking to a construction cone that he thinks is John 22:47:55 Boehner. [Laughter] 22:47:57 Also true. [Laughter] 22:48:01 It is crazy to think that Joe Biden is only one heartbeat away 22:48:05 from someone -- no one taking him seriously as president. 22:48:10 [Laughter] Biden will likely be running for 22:48:15 president in 2016. And I quote "There is no obvious 22:48:22 reason not to." [Laughter] 22:48:30 It is there, isn't it? I'm going to finish that thing. 22:48:35 Just bring me my hoagie. No, not that one. 22:48:42 The fancy one. Here late Clinton has a lot 22:48:47 going for her. She is a natural leader. 22:48:52 As our first female president, we could pay her 30% less. 22:48:55 [Laughter] That is a savings this country 22:49:02 could use. Who is with me? 22:49:05 Hillary's doddle Chelsea -- daughter Chelsea is pregnant. 22:49:14 We will have a sequel to "Bad grandpa." 22:49:17 It also raises the question, when a baby is born you give 22:49:24 Bill Clinton a cigar? [Laughter] 22:49:29 You guys sound like you're on a roller coaster right now. 22:49:37 They are all vowing to see who will win over the GOP base. 22:49:47 Jeb bush says he is speaking about running. 22:49:51 Another bush might be in the white house. 22:49:53 Is it already time for our every 10 years surprise party for 22:49:59 Iraq? [Laughter] 22:50:04 As it stands right now, the republican presidential nominee 22:50:06 will either be Jeb bush, Rand Paul, or a bag of flour with 22:50:15 Ronald Reagan's face drawn on it. 22:50:16 [Laughter] People are asking, will Donald 22:50:22 Trump run again? The answer is does that thing on 22:50:28 his head in the woods. - Cr-p in the woods. 22:50:40 Speaking of digestive systems, Chris Christie is here. 22:50:42 He is actually here eerie, tonight. 22:50:52 You, sir, are a glutton -- for punishment. 22:51:01 They blocked the world George Washington bridge. 22:51:04 Finally, a politician willing to stand up to America's commuter. 22:51:11 Do you want bridge jokes or size jokes? 22:51:15 I know you like a combo platter. I get that. I am sorry for that 22:51:20 joke. I did know -- did not know I was 22:51:26 going to tell it. I take full responsibility for 22:51:31 it. Whoever wrote it will be fired. 22:51:33 I will be a man and own up to it. 22:51:35 I will get to the bottom of how it happened. 22:51:39 I was not aware it happened until just now. 22:51:42 I am appointing a blue-ribbon commission of me to investigate 22:51:45 the joke that I just told. I assure you I will be dealt 22:51:49 with. I just looked into it. 22:51:53 It turns out I am not responsible for it. 22:51:59 Justice has been served. [Laughter] 22:52:01 [Applause] He is going to kill me. 22:52:09 [Laughter] Mr. President, you are no 22:52:15 stranger to criticism eerie that Ted Nugent called you a subhuman 22:52:20 mongrel. It is comments like that that 22:52:23 makes us question whether we can take a guy who wrote "Wang dang 22:52:29 sweet? Seriously anymore. 22:52:38 Mitch McConnell said his number one priority was to get the 22:52:43 president out of office. Mitch, congratulations on being 22:52:48 just two years away from realizing your goal. 22:52:50 [Laughter] Mr. President, your harshest 22:52:55 critics have compared you to Joseph Stalin, Adolf Hitler, -- 22:53:03 I have to say those comparisons are outrageous. 22:53:08 You look way older than those guys. 22:53:09 Just because Morgan Freeman has played the president does not 22:53:13 mean you have to act exactly like him. 22:53:19 Every year the white house Dr. Checks the white -- presidents: 22:53:28 For polyps and George Clooney's head. 22:53:31 [Laughter] It is good to see that white 22:53:38 house press secretary, boy detective jay carney, is here. 22:53:44 Big night for J. I have not seen you this nervous 22:53:49 since the president told him just go out there and tell them 22:53:54 the website is broken. [Laughter] 22:53:58 That actually probably was a moment. 22:53:58 That actually probably was a moment. 22:54:02 that you already have the launch of healthcare.gov a disaster. 22:54:10 It was bad. I don't have an analogy. 22:54:18 They say stuff like "I should not have eaten at sushi." 22:54:31 That latest Johnny Depp movie really health care.gov at the 22:54:33 box office. Thanks to Obamacare, or is the 22:54:46 president refers to it as me care, and millions of newly 22:54:52 insured young Americans can visit the doctor's office and 22:54:58 see what a print magazine actually looks like. 22:54:59 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:55:05 Now, over 8 million people have signed up for Obamacare. 22:55:08 That sounds impressive until you realize that -- 22:55:18 there is a lot going on in the world right now. 22:55:21 There is a madman who has had plastic surgery annexing small 22:55:26 countries in eastern Europe. What the hell is Bruce Jenner 22:55:31 doing in Crimea? Do they get that show their? 22:55:38 I do think you are making a big mistake with Putin. 22:55:40 You have to show a guy like that that you are just as crazy as he 22:55:42 is. He invades Crimea, you invade 22:55:46 Cancun. Russia takes back Ukraine, 22:55:51 America takes back Texas. Something to think about. 22:55:53 [Laughter] The new director of the secret 22:55:58 service is here tonight. Under her leadership, secret 22:56:04 service agents can longer consort with prostitutes that 22:56:11 are too drunk to make it to the program. 22:56:12 [Laughter] I am sure she loves that. 22:56:18 The director of national intelligence, James clapper, is 22:56:21 here. Finally I can put a face to the 22:56:27 mysterious voice clearing its throat on the other end of the 22:56:30 phone. That was weird. 22:56:33 I have been watching a lot of cable news. 22:56:35 I am a big fan of that lesbian on MSNBC. 22:56:44 Yeah, MSNBC is a confusing place. 22:56:49 Al Sharpton is there skinny guy. [Laughter] 22:56:54 CNN is desperately searching for something they have been missing 22:56:55 for months -- their dignity. Totally. 22:56:59 [Laughter] At this point, CNN is like the 22:57:06 radio shack in a strip mall. You don't know how it stayed in 22:57:11 business as long. They just fired piers Morgan. 22:57:16 [Laughter] [Applause] 22:57:19 Thank you. Fox News is the highest rated 22:57:25 network and cable news. [Applause] 22:57:36 It is all thanks to their key demographic, the old people that 22:57:44 have tuned into Fox News and have not yet been discovered. 22:57:47 Bill O'Reilly is not here. They'll has another book coming 22:57:52 out soon. He is making his ghost writers 22:57:56 work around the clock. This event brings together both 22:58:08 Washington and Hollywood. The relationship between 22:58:11 Washington and Hollywood has been a long and fruitful one. 22:58:14 You get tax credits for film and television production. 22:58:16 In return, we bring much-needed entertainment to hard-working 22:58:22 American cities like Vancouver, Toronto, and Vancouver again. 22:58:26 [Laughter] Hollywood helps America by 22:58:31 projecting a heroic image to the rest of the world. 22:58:33 We have just released another movie about captain America, or 22:58:37 as he is a known in China, captain who owes his $1.1 22:58:44 trillion. [Laughter] 22:58:49 Look around. The cast of "The." 22:58:55 -- "Veep." The folks from Dr. Dynasty had a 22:59:07 very challenging year. The grandfather on the 22:59:12 grandfather on that show made homophobic and racist remarks. 22:59:13 He really hates docs -- ducks. [Laughter] 22:59:23 "House of cards" has had great impact on Washington. 22:59:29 I have not seen a tour de force performance like that since. 22:59:40 You can drop character any time. I am not going to spite that 22:59:48 spoil the shocker on "House of cards." 22:59:49 Are -- Nancy Pelosi's face almost changed expression. 22:59:58 Did you like that one, Nancy? I would like to congratulate 23:00:02 Jared Leto on his Oscar. Who asked to be introduced to 23:00:15 that hot chick from "Dallas Buyers Club." 23:00:18 Richard Sherman has already had an impact on tonight's event. 23:00:28 He blocked all three attempts of Tim Tebow to pass the dinner 23:00:32 rolls. Peyton manning, it he wanted to 23:00:38 be here tonight, but could only move four yards at a time. 23:00:44 You're right. He is not here to defend 23:00:46 himself. Legendary actor Robert DeNiro is 23:00:50 here tonight. [Applause] 23:00:54 I don't do a DeNiro impression, 22:59:04 The folks from Dr. Dynasty had a very challenging year. 22:59:10 The grandfather on the grandfather on that show made 22:59:12 homophobic and racist remarks. He really hates docs -- ducks. 22:59:21 [Laughter] "House of cards" has had great 22:59:27 impact on Washington. I have not seen a tour de force 22:59:31 performance like that since. You can drop character any time. 22:59:43 I am not going to spite that spoil the shocker on "House of 22:59:48 cards." Are -- Nancy Pelosi's face 22:59:56 almost changed expression. Did you like that one, Nancy? 23:00:00 I would like to congratulate Jared letter -- O on his Oscar. 23:00:12 Who asked to be introduced to that hot chick from "Dallas 23:00:16 Buyers Club." Richard Sherman has already had 23:00:22 an impact on tonight's event. He blocked all three attempts of 23:00:31 Tim Tebow to pass the dinner rolls. 23:00:33 Peyton manning, it he wanted to be here tonight, but could only 23:00:41 move four yards at a time. You're right. 23:00:45 He is not here to defend himself. 23:00:49 Legendary actor Robert DeNiro is here tonight. 23:00:51 [Applause] I don't do a DeNiro impression, 23:00:57 but I do an impression of Robert yours agent. 23:01:02 He'll do it. [Laughter] 23:01:13 Mr. DeNiro, I am clearly beyond reproach. 23:01:21 I will see you on the set of "Spy kids five." 23:01:24 This stone him and the founder of Twitter, is here. 23:01:28 So if you congressmen want to cut out the middleman, just show 23:01:32 him your penis. Not now. 23:01:39 [Laughter] Those are my warm-up jokes. 23:01:43 I am kidding. I want to leave you tonight with 23:01:47 a bit of a pep talk. America has seen her share of 23:01:51 challenges, but as my agent told me when I booked an ABC sitcom, 23:01:56 "Things could be worse." Have you watch the news? 23:02:01 Not CNN, the real news. It is pretty bad in other 23:02:07 places. By comparison, America is doing 23:02:10 great. This year, after months of 23:02:14 debate and controversy, we have achieved something that has 23:02:18 impact the health of millions, we brought back wiki's. 23:02:24 We are not the fattest country in the world, Mexico is. 23:02:29 Don't worry, we will be the fattest country once everyone 23:02:35 comes over here. [Laughter] 23:02:40 A spoiler can sense of I have not been back to the village at 23:02:48 so don't tell me you survive the drone strike. 23:02:49 [Laughter] America still has amazing 23:02:52 technological innovations. Google glasses hit the market. 23:02:59 Now we will know exactly who to punch in the face. 23:03:00 [Laughter] In America, we see gluten in 23:03:04 peanuts as a threat. And other countries, gluten and 23:03:10 peanuts are the names of warlords. 23:03:14 America is doing just fine. I know that? 23:03:18 We are making a fourth movie about trucks that turn into 23:03:22 giant robots. Why? 23:03:28 There is still so much story left to tell. 23:03:29 [Laughter] Jenna, everyone. 23:03:33 This country is still number one. 23:03:37 Cream filled pastries, face computers, and robot trucks. 23:03:44 As to the economy and environment, we will get the 23:03:47 next time. Here is why America is the best 23:03:49 country in the world. A guy like me can stand for the 23:03:52 president, the press, and Patrick Duffy, and tell jokes 23:03:58 without severe repercussions. Instead of being shipped off to 23:04:02 a good log, I am going to the vanity fair after party. 23:04:06 This is America where everyone can be a Pussy Riot. 23:04:15 This is one of the coolest things. 23:04:17 Thank you Mr. President. Thank you. 23:04:22 Thank you, C-SPAN viewer. [Laughter] 23:04:27 [Applause] [Applause] 23:04:56 Thank you. Now, to bring our evening to a 23:05:03 close. I would like you all to remain 23:05:04 here while our next president escorts Mr. And Mrs. Obama from 23:05:12 our home. Thank you. Obama, Joel McHale deliver biting humor at the White House Correspondents' Dinner The glitchy rollout of HealthCare.gov and a contentious relationship with Congress might have bedeviled the White House over the past year, but at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner in Washington on Saturday night, President Obama milked them for comedic fodder. In the annual tradition of the president offering a sendup of the press, his rivals and often himself, Obama noted that House Republicans have been as tough on Speaker John A. Boehner (Ohio) as they had previously been on him. "Which proves that orange really is the new black," he said, to roars from the audience of 2,600 or so members of the media, Congress, visiting celebrities and others at the Washington Hilton. He was, of course, poking fun at the preternaturally tan Boehner who is a frequent target of Washington punch lines. The technical problems with the government's health-care Web site provided the inspiration for one of the year's most popular movies, Obama said. Then the poster for the animated film "Frozen" appeared on the large television screens.